Shattered Knights
by llAurorall
Summary: -Rinoa and Squall- If in the fulfilling of a duty, it itself required a surrender of that duty, would it be possible to save a love by destroying it? In the aftermath of betrayal, there will only be scattered ashes from which to reignite a flame.
1. Shattered Knights

**_Shattered Knights_**

_I'll be here…_

_Why…?_

_I'll be waiting…here…_

_For what?_

_I'll be waiting… for you… so… If you come here… You'll find me… I promise._

--

At this time of year, when spring melds seamlessly into summer, their field always looked like an ocean of white gold rather than grass. The flowers were in full bloom and every time she took a step deeper into the vastness, a flurry of petals would rush from around her feet in tiny maelstroms. It had been too long since she was last here, with him…

Even now, their fingers entwined together whilst wading into the sunset, Rinoa could not quite bring herself to the realisation that Squall was still stood beside her. Not that she had expected him to disappear after their journey together, only that her greatest fear was waking up to find him missing. So much bound them together and where once she had been trying to push him away, now it seemed they could never get close enough. Even a heartbeat of separation between them was too much to bear.

"There…" He whispered, voice barely carrying on the breeze and drawing her from her thoughts. The softness of the sound was yet another anchor into reality and Rinoa let the smile take a foothold on her features; she was not alone.

She squeezed Squall's hand tighter, earning her a slight chuckle from the usually taciturn Commander. She cherished these small moments of openness from him, because even though his character had softened over time, he would always be slightly reserved. Only _she_ would ever see into his heart and it was a gift that took her breath away.

Squall had pointed to the far ridge that overlooked the oceans. With the sun sinking below the horizon, it wouldn't be long before the whole field was alive with fire-flies and together they would lie in the grass, watching the stars. It was the perfect way to spend their anniversary, remembering the shooting star that had first drawn their gazes together.

She could still remember it like yesterday, watching the streak of a falling star descend through the heavens and then finding her eyes locked with his. It had been the SeeD inauguration ball and instead of celebrating like all the other now graduated cadets, Squall had simply leant against one of the marble pillars with his champagne glass, content to blend in with all the other uniforms. He obviously hadn't wanted to be disturbed but Rinoa was alone and determined not to stay that way.

Rinoa imagined that she was more annoying than anything else when they first met. Her only redeeming feature was most likely the impossibly small dress she had been wearing. How she had simply walked up to him, grabbed his hand and literally dragged him back on to the dance floor was a mystery now. She had not lost any of her impulsiveness over time but now experience had tempered her character and she looked back on that night with no small amount of embarrassment.

She hadn't even heeded his warnings of being a terrible dancer. And he had been awful.

Yet, when he tried to get away from her, marching off the dance floor with his face hidden, she had clung to his hand as though her very life had depended on it. It wouldn't be the last time she felt that way around him but the newness startled her. She looked up into his eyes, the storminess of his soul clearly reflected in the blue-grey irises and she knew, although not on a conscious level, that something was happening.

So they tried again and as if guided by some spell, they had moved together as one. Never again would she dance a waltz like this one.

It would be a long time before she understood the depth of their connection but with the benefit of hindsight, Rinoa could see how that moment of perfection under the stars, dancing together, had been a gift of fate and it had brought them together, never to be parted again. Their road would be turbulent, fraught with danger, but it would never be solitary again.

"I'm glad we did this." She admitted quietly, curling closer into Squall's embrace as her thoughts brought her back to the present. The sun was gone and they just lay together in the grass, listening to the rush of the ocean and occasional cricket.

"Me too…" He answered, obviously distracted, most likely by similar thoughts as her own. But though he was far away in his own mind, she knew they were still occupying the same consciousness.

"Do you remember…?" He hesitated, his grip on her fingers tightening reflexively. "Space…?"

On the surface, his question was ridiculous for its obviousness and to the outside observer, perhaps a little callous. How could he mention something as open-ended as that and expect an impartial answer? Of course she remembered space; she had almost lost her life to the blackness. She _would_ have, if not for him.

"The stars were beautiful." She said instead, closing her eyes and remembering the endless expanse of bright white lights against the cold, black backdrop of space. Even in what she had thought were her last breaths, she had noticed how beautiful the stars were. If it were at all possible, they looked even brighter when she was floating among them.

Squall let out the suspended air in his lungs and all of a sudden, Rinoa could hear the wild thundering of his heart beneath her ear. She looked up from her position on his chest to see a swell of water in the corner of his eye. "I've never been so terrified in my life…" He confessed in a breath, not looking at her, knowing it would be his undoing if he did.

So many times he had relived that nightmare, thinking about all those seconds of indecision that could have cost Rinoa her life. What would have happened if he had hesitated a mere fraction longer before jumping out into space? What if his 'sensible' side had won out and he'd left Rinoa to float into oblivion, she never knowing how much he loved her…?

"Don't think." She admonished, reaching up for a kiss into which she poured all her emotion, hoping to convey her love to him through that unique bond they shared. This was her duty as a sorceress, to her knight, to let him know he had protected her. The event would forever torment him but when his own doubts clouded the issue, she would be there to make him see the truth.

The roles of sorceress and knight were not titles they had settled into easily. For Rinoa the station of sorceress had come at a high price; she was no longer just a girl but a woman to be feared the world over and it hurt deeply to know she could not go back to being that girl. As for Squall, even though his initial declaration of his intention to be her knight had been made without hesitation, she worried he would one day realise he was protecting the villain of all those fairy tales and see his mistake.

If she didn't have him, to make her see that she was still just Rinoa Heartilly beneath her powers, she knew they would overtake her. But even that terror was secondary to losing Squall and the increased fear renewed their embrace with more fervour.

A kiss that started out as a distraction more than anything had turned into something else altogether. Without knowing how, Rinoa had moved to straddle Squall's hips, leaning forward against his chest as they kissed. Beneath her fingers the cotton of his shirt bunched and twisted, throwing into relief the muscles beneath. She flexed her fingers against the contours, committing to memory the endless expanse of his body. Nothing could compare to this; to him… Nothing could ever sate her need for this man.

Their kiss ended much sooner than she would have liked but the smile on his face was enough to know she had brought him back from the darkness of his mind. Unbeknownst to him, he had done the same for her. He reached up a hand for her face, threading a few ebony wisps of hair around his fingers.

"Rinoa… Look behind you…" He whispered, still smiling at her in that disarming way of his, fingers never stilling in her hair.

"Huh?" She questioned, the offhanded comment upsetting her position on his lap as well as her sense of awareness.

_"Turn around!"_

It was then that she screamed, the rending of flesh on her back sending a wave of pain racing through her body. In an instant her daydreams crumbled and she realised she was not sat on the hillside at Edea's orphanage with Squall. Instead she was face down in the dirt, body heaving with sweat and the cloying stench of blood clinging to her senses. Her own blood, smeared over the rubble and still dripping down her body.

A vibration through the ground made her roll onto her back, coming face to face with her reality as she opened her eyes to the interior lights of the training centre… She was not alone and Squall had been missing from her life for years.

**_Aurora_**


	2. Shattered Knights, Eternity

**_Shattered Knights - Eternity_**

The pain was her only constant in this ever changing world. In pain, Rinoa knew herself and in that state of mind, nothing could overcome her. She closed her eyes, blocking out the putrid breath rushing over her face, the rumbling of the ground and her own frantic heartbeat as her desperate daydream slipped away. All that remained was the white hot pain in her back, striking every nerve like lightning.

In this state she was most in touch with her powers as a sorceress. The agony focussed her mind and with it she could access magics far beyond those of mere mortals. And it wasn't just the physical pain she felt; she had been thinking about _him_ again. The ache of believing him with her, holding her hand, kissing her, was all she ever dreamed about and now it had cost her. To wake and fall back into a reality where he hadn't had a place in over three years was as torturous as the day he'd originally left.

She reached out a trembling hand, breath whistling in her throat, and let loose all the hurt she had endured over the last three years of loneliness. It was as if the wound on her back opened a doorway to her inner demons, channelling them through the physical manifestation of pain and releasing every wound she had ever suffered.

The sudden eruption of light was blinding and even she shied away from it, ducking for cover as a wave of immeasurable heat roiled through the training centre in its wake. The howling screams from the monster that been bearing over her prone body ricocheted through her skull as it died, and for a moment, she could not distinguish the cry from her own inner turmoil.

How long she was cowering behind a rock, shaking, Rinoa didn't know. In the space between each thud of her heart, a million thoughts and emotions raced through her mind. Even she had not seen a power like this come from her. Granted, she knew how her emotions fuelled her abilities but never had she been expecting to produce an effect which tore through the training centre as though she had summoned the sun itself. If anything, it was a testament to how badly she hurt, even all these years later. Even Bahamut would have been proud…

When the magic receded, leaving only lingering heat and scorched earth, Rinoa flopped back down to the ground, breathing heavily. She stifled a cry at the contact of the rough surface against her tender skin, biting her lips to keep back tears. Her vision was blurry, whether from the flare of light or her own threatening tears she didn't know, compounding her disorientation.

How had she ended up like this?

If three years ago someone had told her she would be bleeding through a SeeD uniform, entrenched in sweat and dirt, breathless and alone on the training centre floor, she would have outright laughed. If someone had said Squall would be the one to abandon her to this fate, she would have punched them out. Yet, here she was, in the very future she dreaded, listening to her diminishing heartbeat in the wake of more carnage.

The pain in her back was merciless and she released a bitter laugh, thinking that this all encompassing agony, self-loathing, was the only legacy Squall had left her. No, it was not all his doing, but she could still hate him for the hand he played in her downfall.

Why did she still dream about him; why couldn't she just walk away from his memory? Why, at the most inopportune moment, did he come back to her mind, her heart, with full force? Why was it that when she closed her eyes, she could _feel_ his fingers in her hair, his lips ghosting along the nape of her neck and his voice, that voice, melting her insides…?

If she could just shake the lingering affection in her soul, moments like this would never happen again. She could move forward in her life instead of feeling a perpetual sinking sensation, as though every time she struggled against invisible restraints, they only tightened and dragged her deeper into her memories. But moving forward was impossible, as was going back, so she was stuck in purgatory, doomed to relive the happiest moments in her life and know she could never get them back. She was bound to his memory.

In that recognition, that it was _she_ that couldn't shake _his_ presence, Rinoa realised suddenly that for once, she hated herself more than she did him… The weakness was all her own. She had no doubts that Squall was out there, living the life he wanted and had all but forgotten her existence. After all, he could not have felt a great attachment if he'd simply walked away all those years ago. It was her own fault for not letting go too, so she had every right to loathe her treacherous heart…

Rinoa lay in the dirt for uncounted minutes, maybe hours. One laboured breath merged into another where she lost herself in all the conflicting emotions still coursing through her consciousness. If three years had not mellowed her hurt, would time _ever_ be able to heal her?

She lurched to her feet, wobbling with the light-headedness that suddenly rolled over her. It was with difficulty she walked out of the training centre, leaning on the safety railings and walls, eventually managing it with only a few stumbles. Garden's main walkways were illuminated with a few lamps, casting the interior of the complex in a sombre glow which was highlighted by the waterways and fountains. Had she not been in pain, broken and only interested in returning to her dormitory, Rinoa might have taken a moment to appreciate the serenity of the place.

As it was, Rinoa's soul was anything but _serene_.

It was hours after curfew and Rinoa knew she was playing with fire being out of her room this late in the evening, but she didn't care. The stillness of Garden was broken only by the uneven pounding of her SeeD boots as she lurched toward the dormitories. Her arm was hanging uselessly to the side, congealed blood clinging to her fingers.

She should be reporting to the infirmary but that thought was more unappealing than simply being demoted for recklessness. She was an A rank SeeD, the best of the elite mercenary force of Balamb Garden; she had earned the right for privacy with blood, sweat and tears. There was no way in Hell she was waking up the doctor and spending her night being scolded like a child. Her roommate might feel different but that was another matter entirely.

On the way up the final steps to the dormitories, having stopped briefly to listen to the solitary cry of a night owl in the gardens, Rinoa started unbuckling her training shirt and pulling her hair down from a tight pony tail. The simple action of loosening the constricting attire made her feel less weary, as if she was doing more than simply releasing the physical pressure her body was under. The sensation even brought a small smile to her lips.

Squall's abrupt departure had cast her life in shadow. Becoming a SeeD, an Instructor and learning to harness her powers were all proud moments but she could find no joy in them. Loneliness and betrayal eclipsed everything. It felt like a lifetime since she had last smiled naturally, a real smile that made it all the way to her eyes. It felt good.

The security lock to her apartment blinked green as she swiped her card through it, moments before one large boot connected with the solid door and forced it open. The main living area was dark when she walked in and the sound of running water from the kitchen pervaded the small space, along with the clang of kitchen wares being moved. She was thankfully not alone. She hated being alone.

The security that company provided, pulled Rinoa from her dreary thoughts and she actually felt a weight lift from her shoulders. If there was one thing in her life she could be glad for, despite everything else, it was the friends she had made for herself. This knowledge she clung to in the darkness, relying more on those connections than any of her friends were likely to realise.

"Honey, I'm home!" Rinoa called, chuckling at the sentiment before she fully removed the training shirt of her SeeD uniform and carefully placed it down over the back of a chair. The material caught on the injury to her back and she bit her lips again at the sharp sting, otherwise ignoring the sensation. She had to bend down to loosen her heavy boots but as they slipped from her feet, she groaned in ecstasy. Hyne, it had been such a long day…

"I'm almost done!" Came the voice from kitchen. Rinoa had to bite back a laugh at the thought of her partner fumbling in the kitchen with various pots and pans. As if on cue, there was a loud clatter of endless utensils striking the slated floor, each clang of the metal sending a jolting wave through her body. A moment of silence followed after the cacophony before it was broken by comical protests. "It's alright; everything's okay!"

Rinoa didn't bother to hide the laugh this time. "You need a hand in there?" She asked playfully. This banter was good. This is what she needed in her life. She maybe losing her sanity to daydreams but at least she could come home to this.

"No!" An unmistakable curse erupted from the next room. "I got it! I got it!"

"Sure you do." She mumbled with a grin. Right now, the distraction of the kitchen parody was welcome and as much as Rinoa had meant her offer of help sincerely, she much preferred imagining the utter chaos that was most likely gathering speed in their small kitchen. Granted, she might regret it later when she was elbow deep in washing up water and airy white bubbles, but some pleasures you had to pay a price for.

With little care for any shred of privacy, Rinoa pulled her white undershirt off and tossed it toward the bedroom. In the brief moment it passed over her head she had been assailed by the smell of sweat and lingering jasmine shower gel, as well as the underlying metallic tang of blood. It was definitely an item from the laundry basket and not to be folded up with the rest of her uniform. She then moved on to her trousers, popping the button with ease before pulling down the zipper and stepping free of the garment. These she folded with her jacket, leaving her stood only in her lacy underwear. She giggled suddenly; she may be wearing the male SeeD uniform for training but at least she was still a girl underneath.

She shivered as the cold hit and instantly her pale skin became marked with goose flesh. In the darkness it was barely possible to make out her figure but she could see a slight reflection in the hall mirror. A morbid curiosity made her walk closer to her own image, twirling in order to see everything that was now exposed.

Rinoa passed her fingers over a scar that travelled from her naval to her hip, slowly, watching her reflection do the same, curiously fascinated with the way the skin was jagged and slightly darker than the rest of her. Beneath her fingers it felt almost rough. There was even a sense of enduring pain from the injury and she wondered if her scars would make her hurt forever, or if time really could heal them. She traced a few more that were scattered over her ribs, over her shoulder and one that ran the length of her outer thigh.

These scars were old. Yet she placed her fingertips to her chest, just above her breasts and felt her own hand trembling against her skin, knowing that some wounds had never really healed. A slight upset to her equilibrium brought forth pain she had tried so desperately to conceal, for so long… Her heart was still bleeding, much as she tried for normalcy.

She was positive her friends knew. She was sure _everyone_ who looked in her eyes could tell that she hadn't moved passed the hurt and anger. But even Rinoa couldn't admit to herself that she might have more than just vengeful thoughts toward Squall Leonhart. She wondered what he would think to see these scars on her body now and if he'd even notice the invisible ones he'd left upon her heart.

God, she had to stop doing this to herself. She had to stop everything in her life coming back to him but it seemed impossible. There was not one facet of her current existence she could not bring back to Squall; the little good and the bad. But was she _trying_ to link her life with his, still?

"Hyne!" There was a loud clang as more pans hit the work surfaces and Rinoa nearly leapt from her skin. "Could you _not_ just stand in the middle of our apartment with nothing on?" Quistis begged, ducking back into the kitchen when she had caught sight of Rinoa standing largely naked in their living room.

The state of her undress was obvious but Quistis would never know how truly naked Rinoa felt in front of her reflection, unable to hide from all those demons that had marked her more than just physically.

Coughing to dislodge the hitch in her throat, Rinoa tried to slip back into the role of playful roommate. "It itches." She offered with half a smirk, gesturing to her uniform over the back of the chair. And it was mostly true; only the SeeD dress uniform seemed to rival the combat dress in itchiness and she had waited as long as possible before pulling it off. She hadn't meant to get caught up in watching herself in the mirror, however. Not to mention everything else the moment had entailed.

Quistis reappeared with a grin of her own, blonde hair dishevelled and pressing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as was her habit. "You're such an exhibitionist." She teased. "You could have changed in your bedroom."

Rinoa shrugged, her uncomfortable smile becoming genuine. "You were so busy in the kitchen I figured you didn't even know I was home yet." She tried to sound innocent, as though they hadn't just had a conversation mere moments ago, but she was certain Quistis could see right through the act.

"Yes, _honey_, I knew you were home."

The two girls, women really, shared a laugh together as Quistis came out of the kitchen fully and headed for the bedroom. She understood the need to be free of the SeeD uniform as soon as possible and it had little to do with the garments being itchy.

After Squall had left… a subject they rarely touched upon, if ever, Rinoa had fallen to her knees. She had nothing. Her friends had tried to assure her that she would be welcome at Garden for as long as she wished to stay but even that offer hardly provided for her. What would she do with the rest of her life? She and Squall never really had plans for the future but they knew he would have taken care of her until she found that out. Well, they thought they knew him enough to know that, yet even those assumptions had turned out painfully wrong.

So Rinoa had done the only thing she could think of – she had taken Cid up on his offer of making her a SeeD. She had progressed quickly, throwing all her energy into this new avenue and trying desperately not to think of the gaping hole that been left in her life, her heart and her soul. It was a façade, they all knew, but her friends respected her too much to drag her down with it. They hoped she would confront her pain when she was ready but as time had gone on, needs for explanations had fallen by the wayside.

They had all proved they could live without him; as a friend, a leader and a lover. His simple presence however could not be erased so easily. They had all loved him, all in different ways and they paid the price for that love with a grief that would not subside with time, only becoming more integral to their lives. They hardly seemed to be able to live without it now.

No one had healed. No one ever would.

The SeeD uniform stood as an icon of that eternal suffering for Rinoa. She had only taken it out of desperation and it went against every moral she had about fighting, especially for money.

Now an A ranking SeeD and a registered instructor, Rinoa spent most of her time teaching younger cadets weapons technique and magic ability. She was happy, but even to those who did not know her, there was almost a shadow over her life, following her wherever she went. It may be nothing more than just imagination but Rinoa looked as though she knew she was haunted too.

Tonight Quistis wagered that Rinoa's training, although still extensive under Garden, had been of a voluntary nature. Almost every night found the young sorceress in the training centre, channelling all her emotions into battle after battle. Wearing herself out in such a way was the only method of achieving any real peace. Though her friends worried for her, they understood she needed to exhaust herself if she was to have any hope of resting.

Quistis returned from the bedroom with Rinoa's satin gown hanging from her fingers. She was about to hand it over when the smooth cloth dropped from her outstretched fingers in shock, along with her smile. "Rinoa, what is that?" She asked, horrified, forgetting any issues with personal space and reaching out for a dark red smear that marked Rinoa's shoulder.

Rinoa shuddered under the hesitant touch, recoiling away from the feeling of vulnerability. "It's nothing."

She turned her back on Quistis and it proved to be her biggest mistake. Even in the half light of the living room the jagged cut running down her shoulder blade was clearly visible. It looked like a claw mark and it was deep. Thick blood had clotted around the wound but fresh blood was still weeping from the edges of the laceration. The strike even seemed to have sliced through the material of her bra which was now only precariously held together by a small piece of elastic.

"This is not 'nothing'." Quistis scolded, sounding harsher than she intended but not really caring about it. Rinoa didn't respond. "We're going to the infirmary, _now_."

"No." Rinoa picked up her gown and tried not to flinch as the material caught on her raw skin. "It's out of hours and I'm not waking up Dr. Kadowaki for a scratch."

Quistis put her hands on her hips, a position the students of Balamb had quickly learned brooked no argument. Quarrelling that it was not just a 'scratch' would be as productive as bickering over the origins of Hyne. "Then you'll let me help." She said, turning Rinoa so her back was turned once more, not waiting for any protests.

Carefully as she could, Quistis pulled the gown back down so the length of the wound was again visible. It seemed to get worse every time she saw it and it most definitely needed stitches. There were some things you couldn't push Rinoa in to, however. Never mind who gave the orders.

"What happened?" She asked, assessing the wound so that she could do as much as possible to help. She was afraid Rinoa would just remain silent until it was over, never revealing the reason for the injury.

"I wasn't paying attention." She confessed in a small voice, turning her head defiantly to the side so that the vision of vulnerability would not be reflected back to Quistis in the mirror. "T-Rexaur got me from behind."

It was not like Rinoa to express her feelings anymore, especially those she perceived as weak. It was a trait she seemed to have picked up in Squall's absence. Quistis was reminded painfully of the woman that Rinoa had been before Squall; carefree, honest and charming with her sincerity. Her encounter with the solitary lion had left its mark on the young sorceress…

"You should be more careful." Quistis admonished gently. Her voice was now softer, losing the edge of severity and taking on a more sisterly affection. "We worry."

Rinoa would have told Quistis that she shouldn't worry, that none of them should, but it would have been rude and hurtful. She wasn't _him_; she cared how her friends thought of her. There was not an awful lot she could say about the incident though without offering meaningless explanations. She wouldn't make excuses or apologise for needing to escape, or promise to never do it again. So there was little else to say.

Quistis's hand was shaking as she held it over Rinoa's shoulder, listening in the wake of their voices for any indication that there might never be another moment like this one. When it didn't come she could feel her heart sink slightly in defeat. How long could they keep up this pattern of fighting and superficial healing? Would there come a time when Rinoa would lose herself in the desperation and move beyond the scope of being healed? Even now there were wounds that simple spells could not reach. How was she supposed to help her?

Long moments passed before Quistis was relaxed enough to channel her magic and all the while the only thing she could think was that _this_ was not her job; caring for Rinoa like this was not for her to do, nor was it for a doctor to be doing.

"Cura." She whispered under her breath, so quiet it was almost not there. A dark pink glow emanated from under her hand and the skin of Rinoa's back began to fuse back together. She took a sharp intake of breath in response, riding out the pain. Some of the blood disappeared but after the spell was complete most of it still clung to the jagged scar now adorning Rinoa's once flawless skin. There were so many scars now.

Rinoa pulled her gown up again and tied it without a word. She wanted to thank Quistis for her help but the words would not come. Only _he_ should have helped her with things like this. It was the duty of a knight to care for his sorceress, not the knight's friends.

"Dinner won't be long." Quistis called after her, already knowing she would most likely be eating on her own tonight. There was no reply but she could hear the jagged breaths that signalled the restraint of tears as the young sorceress walked away to her room. After all this time with Rinoa, she had come to know the sound well.

In the silence after, now alone in the half light and unspoken memories, Quistis felt a well of anger suddenly rise into her chest. The sight of Rinoa's torn and bloodied training uniform over the back of a chair only made it worse. Things were not meant to have turned out like this. She should not be here, trying to fill a hole she never could and take the place of a knight. She should not be here defending the memory of a man who had seen fit to just walk out of their lives with nothing but a paltry note.

No one had ever seen the letter. It was something Rinoa had kept close to her chest, never revealing why Squall had suddenly decided to leave. They all knew it was most likely he hadn't given a reason, nor an apology, and simply disappeared. He had owed her _that_ at the very least. Hell, he owed them all a great deal more than just an explanation. Such things only made her angry because there would never be a reason forthcoming.

They had tried to look for him afterwards but nothing ever turned up. And this was the source of most of Quistis's rage – Rinoa had covered for him, tried to protect him, never revealing the note's contents. The bastard had the audacity to leave without warning and she was trying to make him less of the dark knight he blatantly was. He didn't deserve the love she had willingly given to him.

Rinoa had gotten through to him. She had seen him for frightened child he had spent his life as and brought him into the world, never once letting go of his hand… He then repaid her by disappearing without warning. They had been through so much together and yet he could not spare a moment to explain why he could no longer stand at her side, as he'd promised to do.

He hadn't even cared enough to say goodbye, to any of them…

Years had now passed, in the darkness of the living room there was only the sound of her own rapid breathing. The silence was deafening and in the echo of her thoughts, Quistis could hear tears coming from Rinoa's bedroom.

"Damn you, Squall… Look what you've done."

**_Aurora_**


	3. Shattered Knights, Prisoner Of War

**_Shattered Knights – Prisoner Of War_**

During years of incarceration, every dent and scratch in the metal work of this prison had become engraved in his psyche. The pitted doorframe and scuffed floors were almost a part of his identity, he knew them so well. On the ceiling, if he closed his eyes for long enough, he could almost join the marks together like constellations in the stars. This capsule of metal and glass had been his home for longer than he cared to remember. If he was ever fortunate enough to escape this place, he knew an impression of it would live on in the deeper recesses of his soul.

The spartan dormitory he had once lived in at Garden seemed like a palace to him now. Even the thought of the generic bed, worn out pillows and scratchy woollen blankets seemed to transform into eiderdown and the finest cotton. Even the nights he'd been out on missions, sleeping rough in the dirt, were infinitely more comfortable than the slab of metal he was given as a 'bed'.

Squall imagined the water cascading along the ornamental canals and fountains in Garden. It was most likely cleaner than the sparing water he was given here. If he ducked his head into one of the fountains, drinking deeply, the water would not go down in his throat in lumps but like a sluice, quenching the burning in his body from dehydration. He would even be brave enough to eat food from the canteen without reserve, the standards at his old home practically gourmet meals comparative to the hard heels of bread and rotten fruit he scrounged in this dungeon.

His uniform would even be comfortable now, the emblazoned symbols of Garden on his shoulder plates and back. The material had always been soft but the uniforms were designed for effect, not for comfort. He remembered standing guard at functions with his formal attire practically choking the life out of him. Before the dress code was unbearable, now it would be heavenly to wear something other than soiled rags which had more holes than cloth.

All of that seemed such a long time ago now…

Metal cuffs chaffed his wrists when he tried to move, peeling away another layer of raw skin. The pain of it had long since become redundant but the scars would endure forever, reminding him of the endless hours he'd suffered as a prisoner; as a slave. How long exactly he'd been locked up, he wasn't sure. It could have been mere weeks or lifetimes; with no light to mark the passage of time, it was impossible to tell.

Squall shifted again, this time drawing blood from the tight bonds around his wrists. There was no strength in him to cry out and so he just hung limply over his metal cot, arms held above his head by chains. In the time since he'd left Rinoa's side, he'd simply withered away. His once strong body now resembled that of an aged man, littered with old scars and new wounds, hair long enough to pass his shoulders and a straggly beard. Of the few things Squall could be glad for in this Hell, it was that there were no surfaces in which he could see his reflection.

If he saw the shadow of the man he now was, he knew he'd give up and he had to prevent that at all costs. He had to survive this for as long as possible, so that she would be safe from harm. They swore to him that the moment he died, they would go after her. That in itself was incentive enough to live forever.

He'd done this for her, much as he knew she would never understand the decision he'd made. He still remembered sitting in his office, what felt like lifetimes ago, absentmindedly opening a blank envelope that had been left on his desk. His attention had initially been elsewhere but as soon as Rinoa's glossy face had looked back at him from a black and white photograph, his world had narrowed.

The envelope had contained numerous surveillance photos of Rinoa. In all of them she was smiling, oblivious to the fact she was being watched and photographed for this very purpose. Even before he'd found a note buried beneath the frames a cold chill had wrapped around his spine. There was only one reason someone would send him pictures like this; they wanted something from him.

The small note had only detailed a date, time and place. Attached to that was another note much longer, typed up on Garden headed paper and addressed to Rinoa from himself. The false letter explained that he was leaving; the pressure of being Commander was too much and he wanted to forget everything that had come previously in his life, which included his relationship with Rinoa. The letter didn't stop there either, continuing on to name all of his comrades and explicitly disown them all.

As he'd read the confession, the tears had welled up in his eyes. At breakfast that morning, sitting around the canteen table with those few people who he'd come to call friends during their journey, Squall hadn't realised it would be the last time he saw any of them again.

The message the pictures and note aimed to achieve was not missed. Squall knew he had to disappear or Rinoa's life, the lives of all his friends, would be forfeit. He could not take the risk of warning them; if the photographs proved anything, it was that he was not always there to protect them.

And so he'd left, leaving 'his' note on the desk where it would be chanced upon easily. He ached to think of their reaction when they came across it. As he'd walked through Garden's halls, past all the students he'd come to know and respect, he half hoped someone would stop his departure, half terrified they wouldn't. As it was, his exit from Garden had been quiet and unnoticed. Before anyone knew him missing, he was already bound and gagged, thrust into the cargo hold of a boat that was taking him to God knows where.

He didn't even know where he was now. He did however know why they had taken him and he'd been right; to get to Rinoa. Their plan was to get to the sorceress through her knight. But they didn't know Rinoa like he did. She wouldn't look for him after that note, not after the things they had said for him. She could be just as stubborn as he was and a wounded heart would not easily forgive.

If he ever got the chance, he'd get down on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He'd do it in front of all of Garden if he had to. She had to know that the _only_ reason he had left her side was because he believed it was the only way of saving her life. The irony was not lost on him that in the surrender of his position for her protection, he had lost her love anyway.

Squall looked up as the door to his cell swung open with a grating sound that reverberated through all of his bones, shattering his thoughts that were always the same. For a moment he was hopeful that someone was here to feed him, no matter how rotten the food, but the little hope he'd gathered was quickly dashed. There was little room for hope in this place of endless tortures.

"It's that time again, Hero." A gruff voice informed, the smile behind it impossible to mask. It was Brogue, the soulless cretin whose only purpose in this hole was to dig deeper and deeper, until Squall knew they'd gone so deep that he would never find his way back to the light.

Why they called him 'Hero', Squall didn't care to ask. It was probably nothing more than a low blow at his past achievements and current predicament. In the beginning it had served their purpose of making him feel like a failure but the real effect had long ago worn off. He was beyond the point of paying attention to the cruel jokes of his captors. They could call him whatever they liked; it made no difference.

'That time' was referring to his dose of drugs. The real purpose of the treatment he wasn't sure but he dreaded each time with an apprehension beyond fear. His body would break out in cold sweats, his teeth chatter and eyes roll into the back of his head as though he was nothing more than a terrified horse, rearing back from danger.

The drugs made him see things and caused him pain which he couldn't bear. Yet despite his pleading, or maybe because of it, they would inject him with the deadly serum anyway.

When Brogue came nearer with needle, Squall tried to scrabble away but he was so weak his limbs barely scraped the floor. Through the worn rags he wore, he could see the protrusion of his knee bones through his skin and the sight made him want to vomit. He was sure Brogue was enjoying this little display of helplessness; he usually did.

"I can't…" He moaned, trying not to flinch as the needle scraped along the bone of his arm. There was no muscle to him now and his skin was loose against his malnourished frame.

Brogue outright laughed this time. "Sure you can, Hero." He grabbed Squall's long hair to bring their gazes together. "That little bitch of yours is counting on you, remember?"

"Rinoa…" His voice was desperate, as though he feared she was in the room with them.

"Yeah, that one." Brogue's breath broke against Squall's face, stinking of tobacco juice and tartar. "Wouldn't want a delicate little thing like that to wake up in a place like this, would we?"

He was on the verge of tears now. Just the thought of Rinoa joining him in this sentence was almost too much. He'd spent all his life refusing to show any emotion; refusing to cry. Now, all anyone had to do was mention hurting Rinoa and it tore through his flimsy defences as though they were made from tissue paper. Long years of torture had broken him down to his basic instincts. He no longer had the strength to hide from the abuse or act like it didn't matter.

Rinoa was all he had left. He'd surrendered everything, his very life, so that she could keep her freedom. Nothing was more important than Rinoa, regardless of what she may think of him now. He knew she'd be angry at the letter she thought he'd left her but it was better than telling her the truth; he couldn't risk Rinoa coming after him.

Keeping the sorceress from harm was his duty as a knight and he fulfilled that position. But keeping Rinoa from those that would hurt her was a duty demanded of his very being; his last breath would be taken for her freedom.

"Please…" Squall Leonhart was no longer above begging. "Don't hurt her."

Brogue never answered, simply left Squall alone with his fear, the sound of his laughter resonating through the small chamber.

It wouldn't be long now before the drugs took effect. He never seemed to build any resistance to them. Maybe it was because he was so weak now and there was so little left of his body. God knows he tried every time, tried to keep himself in control but it was always futile. Whatever they wanted to do with him, they would and there was never anything he could do to stop them.

His only reason for continuing on was Rinoa. All that time ago he'd sold his soul for her and he would do it again in a heartbeat. He would live this life of imprisonment and pain, content in the knowledge she was free in the world and oblivious to the danger she could have been in. There was _nothing_ he wouldn't do for her.

He could almost hear her voice now, close to his ear and so soft. _"What have they done to you…?"_

Squall looked up, the last of his tears drying on his gaunt cheeks as the sun shone brightly in his eyes. Rinoa's hand was cupped against his chin and he leant into the contact completely, his own hands wrapping around hers, holding on for all he was worth. This is what the drugs did; they made him believe. Each time he hated it and each time he hungered for it like a child.

"Rinoa?" He rasped, falling into this illusion without question. They would be death of him but it was also his only solace.

"I'm here." She soothed, wrapping him in her arms. He could smell jasmine lingering on her skin and the faint aroma of apples from the shampoo she used. It made him bury his head deeper into the crook of her neck, breathing so deep he thought his lungs might explode with the pressure. If he could only stay like this, wrapped in her secure embrace for the rest of his days, he would die happy.

In that moment he wanted to beg her to come and get him, to ignore all the things he'd said in his letter and rescue him from the endless torment he'd endured in her absence. Nothing mattered anymore but being with her, by her side, always. He needed her more than his next breath, his next decaying meal and more than he could ever articulate with words. He grasped her tighter, nails digging sharply into the folds of her clothes as the solidness of her body rested against him.

"I've missed you…" She breathed, placing a kiss against the muscle between his shoulder and neck.

The sensation, the power her words evoked, proved to be too much to bear and Squall sank to his knees, still clutching desperately to this woman whom he loved more than anything else in this life. She trailed her fingers through his hair, continuing to whisper gentle nonsense to him as he rocked slightly on his knees, needing only to be in contact with her to be at ease.

"Don't leave me." He begged, looking up at her with watery eyes.

"I will _always_ be with you, my knight. Nothing can ever separate us." She never stilled her touch.

"Promise?" His voice was almost that of a child's. If he had been more of the man he was before imprisonment, he would have flatly refused to utter such words and been heartily ashamed of himself in the event that he had. But all that was in the past now. He didn't have the luxury of being the stoical lion he had once been. All that was left to him were the tattered remnants of pride that had been tempered with painful humility.

Rinoa grinned, a smile that showed off all her teeth. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "I promise." She said, pulling Squall up from his knees.

He was terribly weak, leaning on her for support but she accepted his weight, his burdens, as she always had, giving of her own strength to keep them both afloat. He always wondered whether he should have trusted her more back then, if they really could have stood together like they had in the past and fend off every threat made to their happiness. It was a thought that plagued him in weakness; if he had trusted her, would he have had to endure this imprisonment? He would almost be willing to believe it but then he would remember her face in the photograph and he knew he couldn't have taken the risk with her life; a risk he took upon himself, but not one he would allow for her.

For long moments they stood together before he realised they were on the shores of Balamb. The marks of torture had been removed from his aching body and he was his younger self again, one not aged by abuse. Wet, white sand pushed up from beneath his toes and with an almost delirious smile, he looked out over the ocean and saw the sun rising.

The wind pushed back his much shorter hair that was well groomed and thick, radiating health in the first sprays of light. His body felt stronger too, his limbs firm and strong, no longer ravaged by time and malnourishment. The outside world breathed new life into his old soul and made him feel just a teenager again. His gaze was starving for views other than the four metal walls that were his home.

As beautiful as the scenery was however, Squall could not bring himself to look away from the woman in front of him for long. She was smiling at him still, as though they had never been separated and it made his insides tremble. He traced the pad of his thumb across her eyebrow, committing to memory every detail of her angelic face.

His fingers never stilled against her skin, tracing the shell of her ear before outlining her jaw. Her face had a rounded edge that was framed by the softest hair he'd ever had the pleasure of running his fingers through. Each tendril would fall over his hand like a wave of black silk, revealing the natural brown highlights hidden beneath the waves that barely passed her shoulders. Every detail was endlessly familiar and etched into his memory, his heart, for all eternity.

Rinoa reached up for him, much the same way as he had, detailing the contours of his face. When she passed a single finger down the scar on his face, starting at the top on his forehead, following the pink line across the bridge of his nose to end high on his cheekbone, he could feel her concern. The wound had never been anything more than a memento of their old rival Seifer but under her ministrations he almost felt it could disappear.

She had pointed out once that it gave his face a rugged edge she found irresistible. He remembered trying to stop the blush that had raced up the back of his neck, desperately hiding behind indifference. He had never been good with emotions and sometimes her teasing threw him off. He'd only managed a small grunt in reply, not trusting his voice. Now the memory made him smile, a bittersweet sensation of knowing that she loved him more than anything and he never had the courage to return the sentiment.

Squall's heart started thundering in his chest as Rinoa passed her fingers over his lips. He started trembling both in fear and in anticipation; fear that this dream would end before he could tell her for the first time that he did love her and anticipation of the feel of her lips on his.

"Rinoa, I-" She cut him off, reaching up on her toes to press her lips to his. He was shaking in her embrace, unable to coordinate himself as he blindly reached out for more of her; for anything she was willing to give him.

In that instant, it did not matter what kept them apart, only that they were now together again.

The kisses that she littered over his skin were not the kisses she had given him before. Back then he was still too unsure of his emotions, still too afraid of them to be able to cope with anything that pressured him. He had always tried to be affectionate in their embraces but before anything became over heated, he would pull back with an apology.

She always understood his fear. For all his life, all anyone had ever done was walk out on him. First it was the father he'd never known, then his mother had died before he knew her. When he ended up at Edea's orphanage, his last hopes had been pinned on Ellone and she too walked away from him. There's only so much grief a child can tolerate and so after that, he'd sworn to himself that never again would he rely on someone. All they ever did was leave him… It was better to not let them into his heart in the first place, thus avoiding the inevitable desolation afterwards.

Then Rinoa entered his life. His first instincts had been to resist but she was an unstoppable force, wending her way into his heart without either of them ever realising. When they did, it was far too late to retreat; they were bound together, no matter what the future brought.

Rinoa's kisses now were nothing like then. Her lips skirted along his jaw with almost voracious intent and involuntarily, Squall tilted his head back with a small groan. Everything about her was so overwhelming and he felt as if he might drown in her very essence. And suddenly, that thought wasn't terrifying at all.

Her hands slipped under his shirt and focussed all his awareness on the hesitant contact of her fingers, clenching his jaw when her nails scored his skin. It cleared his brain as well as made it foggier. He felt like he was wading through water to regain some control over his actions. Her hands reached higher, one coming to rest against his shoulder blade while the other stayed at his waist.

With two fingers, Rinoa ran her hand along his shoulder and underneath her touch, he could feel his skin tearing open as if by a knife, a rivulet of blood winding down his back…

--

"You ever wonder what the Hell he's thinking 'bout?" Brogue asked of his superior, tossing the used syringe down onto a work surface. On the other side of the one-way mirror was Squall, still hanging from his chains but for once, with a smile on his face.

"I do not have to; there is only one thing a man like that dreams about."

Brogue shrugged in response, scratching at the unruly scruff of hair on his chin. "What do I care?" He pulled a folder out from under a coffee cup and flipped through some of the pages. "Recent results from the tests are showing the connection is getting weaker. It's taking twice the amount of crap in his system to bring about the hallucinations as it was before."

"And where is the Sorceress now?"

"Last time intelligence checked…" There was a moment while he ruffled a few more sheets of printouts. "She's still teaching at Balamb."

Lieutenant Brogue was a military man and knew better that to ask too many questions of his superiors; this superior in particular. He'd worked on the Knight programme since its inception three years ago and he knew no more now about the work they were doing than he did from his initial briefing. As far as he was concerned, they were investigating the connection between knight and sorceress for future tactical applications, should a sorceress attempt a bid for world power again. Sorceress Rinoa was the legacy of a very blood heritage and even though her real identity was kept a secret at large, there were those people not willing to leave her true intentions to chance; in the event she went off the deep end, they would be ready for her.

Over the years they had subjected Squall to immeasurable torture, some of it physical but most of it emotional. Coupled together with deplorable living conditions it was a wonder that the former Commander of Balamb Garden was still alive. Brogue knew it had more to do with him being a knight, bonded to a sorceress, but Squall was only human underneath that; he would have to give out at some point and it looked to be soon.

Still, when this project came to an end there were hundreds more just waiting for transfers. So long as his paycheque kept coming, he'd work on whatever they told him to. The absence of morals fetched a high price in his line of work.

His superior spoke again, gaze still fixated on Squall in the cell. "Begin the preparations."

**_Aurora_**

_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed for the previous chapters. As soon as I have a little extra time I hope to set about responding to them. Until then, know that I do appreciate everyone and it's a pleasure to hear your opinions. Hopefully, I shall be hearing much more from you in the coming chapters!_


	4. Shattered Knights, SeeD

**_Shattered Knights – SeeD_**

Rinoa couldn't remember the last time she had seen the sunrise. When the first golden colours began streaming across the open sea, she wondered what had made her wait so long before making the effort.

White sand along the Balamb shoreline pushed between her toes as she walked barefoot along the beach, listening to rush of the water as each wave brushed against the surf. The crest was almost high enough to wash over her feet and she watched in fascination as each little cloud of foam dispersed against the sand before water was dragged back out to sea.

The salty sea breeze had a her hair dancing over her shoulders and Rinoa could feel all of her senses suddenly conscious to the display, as though she was crawling out from underneath a thick blanket. The effect was like a breath of life, doing away with all the cobwebs that had developed over her soul. For the first time in forever, she was truly _alive_.

Sleep had been an impossible enemy and so with her eyes still raw with tears and body weak with fatigue, Rinoa had dressed in her formal uniform and crept from her apartment in the early hours, driving straight to the beach. She was hoping to find a solace among the quietness and the sunrise of purple and gold before her didn't disappoint.

Through her tears the previous night, Rinoa realised that she was holding on to a dream; to a love that could never be and never was. She'd been foolish to cling to it for as long as she had, especially when all her friends had let go, moved on and made something of themselves. Maybe they weren't happy but at least they were open to the idea of happiness finding them.

With a heart of stone, the only thing that Rinoa was open to was erosion of her emotions over the passage of time.

She had so many things going for her… She was an A ranking SeeD from Balamb Garden, an exceptional instructor by all accounts and a sorceress. Most importantly, she had her friends; a life of love and happiness just waiting for her to come back to. They had all stuck with her through this selfishness she had inflicted upon them. It was time she paid them back with a little effort, instead of letting her defences down at the first sign of trouble.

The debt to her friends for their continuing support may never be something she could repay but she would spend the rest of her life trying. One day, she would even ask for their forgiveness. She should never have let her feelings for Squall take over her life like they had, not under the circumstances.

Rinoa looked out to the ocean, tears streaming down her face once more, much as she fought them back. She knew what she had to do but that didn't make it any easier. With a deep breath, she pulled her necklace from around her neck, holding the delicate chain in trembling fingers. The sound of her mother's platinum wedding ring clanking against Griever, the ring of a lion Squall had given to her, sent a corresponding pain through her heart.

Ever since Squall had initially given her Griever, almost five years ago, Rinoa had never removed the chain. It was always under her uniform, as it had been a moment ago, pressed against her chest where she was always aware of its presence. It was a source of strength and many times she remembered grasping the rings within her fist, collecting her courage from the two bonds. These rings gave her strength when she thought she had no more to give.

For a moment, Rinoa debated pulling her mother's ring from the necklace. She'd had it since childhood; her only keepsake of her mother who had died in a car crash before Rinoa had built any firm memories of her. Her mother's ring had been there for her to hold during her first day of school, her first date and her first heartbreak.

It didn't seem right to remove one ring from the other. They were joined together, meant to stay that way and there should be no force in the world strong enough, not even that of a sorceress, to break them apart. If she were to let go of one of them, both would have to go.

Could she part with them? Would it be possible to keep hold of them, just in case she needed them? But what would she need them for, other than to draw strength upon in her weakness, reaffirming her reliance on memories?

No. She had to do this. Her tomorrow was now and if she failed at this first hurdle, she may as well give up. Too long had she been submerged in her memories and it was time to make new ones. Three years of hoping had not changed the past, nor would another three, or even thirty years. Only the future could change her and that was what she had to look to.

Rinoa clenched her fist around the rings until her fingers ached. "I should have said this years ago…" She whispered into the wind, almost choking on the words. "Goodbye, Squall…"

_'I'll never forget you…'_

With her last silent promise, she threw the necklace, rings as well, as far out into the Balamb Sea as she could. She watched as they splashed into the water, sinking quickly with only a small reflectance of light to mark their passage. There was no going back now. She was going to learn to live without both of them; her mother and Squall. For once, she was going to stand on her own two feet and be in charge of her own destiny.

When Rinoa Heartilly puts her mind to something, there's no stopping her.

She walked back up the beach to her car, looking back over the ocean one more time. For a moment, she could have sworn she heard the cry of a lion but quickly decided it was merely the rush of the sea. Silly fantasies like that were something the old Rinoa would have put faith in. Now, this Rinoa knew it only to be a trick of her heart. She would listen with her mind from now on and be safe in the knowledge it was only the echo of the ocean…

--

Quistis jabbed the elevator button a little more forcefully than she intended, impatient to get from the ground floor to her office on floor three.

Rinoa had already left their apartment before she'd awoken and Quistis hoped to God she wasn't down in the training centre again. She had swung by to check but there was no sign of the errant sorceress and it didn't alleviate her fears at all. Last night had been a close one; too close. Quistis didn't know how much longer they would be able to keep patching Rinoa up when she was injured, as well as continuing to protect her from the wrath of the Garden Masters; the stronger the sorceress became, the more likely they were to discover her presence.

After Rinoa had come to live at Garden, before becoming a SeeD in her own right, Squall had decided to keep Rinoa's true identity a secret. The world wasn't ready to acknowledge the presence of another sorceress and not automatically fear the coming of war.

The world was still not ready. So the duty of protecting Sorceress Rinoa from the world at large fell on Quistis's shoulders. Commander of Balamb Garden she might be but top of the food chain she was not and therefore her powers of protection were limited. Her task was made more difficult given that Rinoa was prone to devastating magical outbursts, with very little notice. She knew the day would soon be here when someone would catch on and connect the dots. When that happened, Quistis would have more to answer to than just the Garden Masters.

Her actions were tantamount to treason against Garden and every world leadership. Harbouring a sorceress was bad enough but Quistis had taken it a step further – she had allowed the training of a sorceress in the ways of SeeD. Even though the ultimate decision had been Headmaster Cid's, she still authorised it. Rinoa knew everything about them now and if the day ever came where Garden was commanded to execute its primary directive, execute the sorceress, she would be aware of their every tactical procedure.

Not that Quistis believed for a moment Rinoa would follow in the footsteps of her predecessors. Rinoa was a sorceress in powers only and underneath that was still the kindred spirit she had met almost five years ago; a woman who had gone against her military father to liberate Timber, sacrificed her freedom for her friends and gave all the strength of her heart to retrieve Squall from Time Compression.

Rinoa was not a sorceress like Adel or Ultimecia. She wasn't tempted by the tastes of power she endured every day. Rinoa was just Rinoa, a woman like any other; she just happened to be a sorceress too. Quistis and the others who had accompanied Rinoa on their incredible journey could see her as just the woman. The world would see her only as the sorceress.

"Here are the reports from last night." A voice said, making Quistis look up and realise she had been standing in the elevator long after the door had opened for her. It took her a moment to pull her thoughts together and register her assistant holding a few printouts for her to take, haphazardly paper-clipped together.

Quistis took them, scanning briefly over the data. Before she could comment on them or give thanks for the expediency of their retrieval, her assistant spoke again. "Looks like you were right." He said offhand. "Someone's been summoning GF in the training centre after curfew."

"Thank you, cadet." Quistis returned, trying not to let her emotions show through. If only it were as simple as a reckless student summoning Guardian Forces without prior permission; that would be infinitely easier to deal with. For a start, it wouldn't involve several deceptions and a rather unorthodox use of internal security systems.

"Can I get you anything else, Commander?" He saluted.

Quistis looked to her assistant with as much of a smile as she could muster. Robert had been her assistant since Squall's departure and despite some of the things she'd asked of him, the young cadet had never questioned her actions. It was a great quality in a soldier and such was the life of a SeeD.

"No. Thank you, I'll be okay for the moment." She returned Robert's salute, although a little less formally. "I'll be in my office."

She returned her attention to the printouts as she walked away, leafing through some of the unnecessary data she'd asked to be collected as a cover. As it was, it could be passed off as a simple investigation into misuse of magic. She had times, dates, keycard readouts and monster activity all assembled on the sheets before her, the vast majority of it entirely superfluous. The real information was buried and hopefully, she would be the only one to really see it for the importance it held.

It was when she sat down at her desk that Quistis finally found what she was looking for; readouts from the magic sensors. The base figures for the training centre were usually low and remained that way all night. The nights that Rinoa was in residence produced spikes in the readings. At first, the results suggested a malfunction with the magic grid but when Quistis realised the increased levels were on the same nights Rinoa trained, she put the puzzle pieces together.

Quistis's gaze fell on the readout for last night's session and a hand came up to her mouth just as she gasped. She was already on the phone to her assistant before she could think. "Robert, I want Instructor Dincht up here right now."

--

Rinoa's watery reflection looked back up at her with a curious expression, head tilted to the side and bottom lip between her teeth. Tendrils of dark hair escaped from her pony tail and were falling in front of her face. She blew at them ineffectually, crinkling her nose when a particular strand tickled her skin. She remembered Selphie saying once, not long after she had passed her exam, that Rinoa was easy to spot in a room crowded with SeeDs; she would be the one with the unruly hair.

What she was looking for in her reflection, Rinoa didn't know. She was supposed to be getting to class, to her students, but she could not tear her gaze away from her own image. This gawking at herself was becoming a strange habit.

With a critical eye she scanned over her formal dress uniform, noting the immaculate creases and gold stitching. She'd never felt comfortable in the uniform because she never really viewed herself as a SeeD. She took a breath and straightened up, hands to her side and feed together so she stood at parade attention. She looked like a SeeD.

Then it hit her; she _was_ a SeeD. All this time, Rinoa had only seen herself in a funny uniform and now, she actually looked like a proper SeeD. This was her life and as of this morning, she would make the most of it.

"Feel like sharing?" A voice whispered, dangerously close to Rinoa's ear, sending an involuntary shiver down her spine. She spun quickly, heart in her throat, coming face to face with a pair of pale blue eyes and wavy brown hair. For a moment, Rinoa almost thought…

"Ethan?" She managed, trying to shake the feeling of recognition. "I thought you were out on a mission?"

She'd met Ethan almost a year ago now. They had been partnered together on a mission in Esthar, helping to rout out the last of the monsters still terrorising the citizens from the Lunar Cry. The mission itself had been short lived but time had allowed them to form a sort of friendship. His interest in her had been obvious from the beginning but only now was she beginning to hesitantly allow his advances.

Ethan smiled and took one of Rinoa's hands, bringing it to his lips so he could place a kiss over her knuckles. His grin was charming and Rinoa couldn't help but smile in return, the last vestiges of her memories slinking back into the darkness of her mind. "Got home early." He explained, not letting go of her hand for as long as he could manage. "I wanted to surprise you."

"You know I hate surprises." She scolded, a small smile still tugging at the corner of her lips. She did hate surprises, ever since Squall had _surprised_ them with leaving, she'd despised them.

Ethan only shrugged, his smile never faltering as he looked down on her from beneath chestnut bangs. "Maybe I can change your mind." He ignored her arch look at his statement and gestured to the water fountain. "Were you making a wish?"

Rinoa sighed. Wishes were for dreamers and she was no dreamer. Wishes were things she would have made three years ago but not now. Never again would she be naïve enough to make a wish in a fountain or on a star. Fate was too cruel to pay any attention to the whims of a young woman. She would not tempt destiny again and be presumptuous enough to ask a favour.

"My hair's falling out again." She said instead, internally rolling her eyes at her own little diatribe. Really, all the man had asked was if she was doing something normal, something any other person would do and here she was dragging her damaged soul into things. She had to stop this, if not for her own sake then at least for Ethan and all her friends.

"You look beautiful…" He said softly, reaching up to push a stray lock of hair behind her ear. His fingers were calloused from years of weapon training and the contrast between her own smooth skin and his was almost frightening. She tried to fight against the nausea, against the ever increasing guilt and just relax in to the moment. She was doing nothing wrong, after all.

Maybe this could be part of her new beginning…

"You know…" Ethan let his fingers drop away, looking down at the light shimmering on the fountain's surface; he hadn't missed Rinoa's sudden rigidness or the fear in her eyes. "Sometimes, I know I'm walking into things you want to keep hidden. You got your heart broken… Anyone can see that." He sighed, returning his gaze to her eyes, trying to convey feelings he was finding difficult to describe with words. "But whenever I see you, all I _see_ is you… Everything focuses on you and for a moment, I swear, I can hear…" He shook his head ruefully. "…Never mind."

"What do you hear?" She asked quietly, almost a plea of desperation. Something was pulling at her consciousness, an impulse she couldn't suppress. For the first time in a long time, she was feeling something other than grief.

Ethan swallowed his pride. "I can hear the wings of an angel…"

--

"Quistis, everything okay?" Zell asked, letting himself into the large Commander's office without invitation. Formalities between them had been dropped long ago and it would be more of an affront to their friendship to stand on ceremony than it would be to their ranks. For a moment he was distracted by the large oak desk, sitting in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. The left hand wall of the office was adorned with plaques and pictures, each one naming a brave hero who had perished in the line of duty.

The Commander looked up from the paper work on her desk, checking to make sure the door was fully closed before she began speaking. She held out a file for Zell to take. "These are the reports from last night."

Of the four people remaining from the original team that fought Ultimecia, only Zell and Quistis were aware of the changes Rinoa was going through. For whatever reasons Selphie and Irvine weren't informed, it was believed to be for the best. The fewer people who knew of the potential risk of danger, the fewer of them would be held accountable. At least, Selphie and Irvine had deniability still and that might one day save all their lives.

"She's getting stronger." Quistis stated after a while, removing her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"She's getting worse, you mean." Zell quipped, running a hand through his spiky blonde hair in much the same show of exhaustion as Quistis. The dark tribal tattoo on the side of his screwed up with his face in frustration. "What's the plan?"

"I've no idea. It's been three years; what can we do now that the passage of time couldn't?" She looked over to Squall's portrait briefly that was hanging off to the side, quelling any emotion. "It's almost as if only her sorceress side is refusing to let him go. She only gets this way when her powers spike… The more her powers grow, the more she needs him, their connection, to stabilise her. At the same time, the more she puts energy into their connection, the stronger her powers become. How are we supposed to stop that cycle?"

--

"Instructor Heartilly." The Galbadian officer greeted, saluting her arrival into the conference room. With any other client, Rinoa would have returned the gesture but she was on edge, not only due to Galbadia's presence in Garden but because of her conversation with Ethan earlier. Unfortunately, until this meeting was over, the latter of the two would have to be ignored. Not that she wasn't tempted to ignore this meeting as well…

"Major Tomas." She addressed in the most professional voice she could muster, holding out a hand for the Major to shake. She'd be damned if she'd salute him. "What can I do for you today?"

Rinoa gestured for the Major to take a seat opposite her own at the centre table. Usually, these rooms were used during tactical procedures as a command base but because she didn't have an office, Rinoa was having to make do. She didn't generally take meetings with clients either but for some reason the Major had requested her specifically. Quistis was the one to deal with requests for SeeD and the fact this was being routed through her only put Rinoa on edge about the real reason for the Major's presence.

If he so much as _looked_ as though he was going to bring her father into this, she'd walk right out of the room, so help her. There was no way she was going to sit here and listen to General Caraway's, her _father's_, half-assed entreaties for her to give up this ridiculous life as a SeeD and come home. Her views on SeeD were irrelevant no matter that he was largely right; she had a duty to this place and to her friends. Even if she didn't, there was no way she was returning to Deling to live under her father's rule.

The Major slid a blank manila folder across the oak conference table toward her. "In just under a month, Deling City will be holding the first Global Union talks-."

Rinoa cut him off. "SeeD will already be present in Deling, both as a leadership vote and providing security personnel. What specifically is Galbadia's request regarding this event?"

The Global Union talks had been initially put forward by Esthar in an attempt to merge themselves back into the world. In the wake of the second Sorceress War, many countries had suffered and President Loire believed it was time a united front was made against the damage in an effort to right all the wrongs. Every nation would be there, no matter how small their influence. With a smile, Rinoa realised Timber would be there too as a free state, liberated from Galbadian occupation.

Remembering Laguna Loire however, was not such a comforting memory. At first their loss of Squall, as a lover for her and a son for him, had brought them together. They had been able to live in the hope he would come home. Many nights Rinoa had sat on the phone to Laguna, regaling him with stories of the son he'd never gotten the chance to know.

But in the end, the very things that brought them together were the very things to drive them apart. Rinoa couldn't look at Laguna and not see Squall staring back at her. Much as the latter would hate the very idea of being identified by his absent father, the recognition was striking. As far as Squall was concerned, he was still very much an orphan. He never realised how much his father loved him, despite all the mistakes he'd made.

_'Not thinking about that, remember?'_ She scolded herself, realising where her thoughts were wandering. She tossed her head as if to clear it. "Well, Major?"

Major Tomas tried not to be thrown by the sudden vacant expression that had come over Rinoa's features but it was difficult. "Umm… Yes, Global Union talks." He coughed. "A request for SeeD has been made by the Galbadian Government to provide a security service for the Galbadian representative."

If Major Tomas had been wearing a tie, Rinoa envisioned he would be tugging it loose by now. "Does Galbadia not have its own soldiers with which to fill these positions?"

Somewhere in the back of her mind, where she was still of a sensible inclination, Rinoa _knew_ she shouldn't be toying with this man. Relations between Garden and Galbadia were tenuous at best and even four years of relative peace did not erase the confrontations they'd fought during the second Sorceress War. It didn't help that Galbadia had lost, either. Yet, being Rinoa, she couldn't resist the temptation of just a little embarrassment from the man.

Major Tomas was starting to go red. "Instructor Heartilly, I am aware of Galbadia's military capabilities and I assure you, this assignment is one easily undertaken by its own soldiers. The request however, is for SeeD. Specifically, for _your_ presence at the talks."

Rinoa was not playing anymore. "My father sent you, didn't he?"

"General Caraway is Galbadia's representative and he wants the best protection available. We are not a well liked nation, Miss Heartilly." She tried not laugh as he continued. "And we are under no illusions that we can just walk into these talks and expect no repercussions. Your presence is requested as a primary security force for the General."

Rinoa stood, placing the manila folder under her arm. "I'm afraid I'm not a field soldier." Quistis was going to be so proud of her; she hadn't blown up in his face. She was handling this as a SeeD. If she didn't get of the room quickly however then all bets were off… "SeeD personnel can and will be arranged for the General's protection. If there are any problems with this arrangement, I'm sure Commander Trepe will be more than happy to discuss them with you."

She didn't wait for a protest, already half way out the door before she'd even finished speaking.

Rinoa was still seething from her meeting with Major Tomas hours later. Not even a talk in the canteen with Zell had quelled her fury and he was usually so good at soothing her emotions. She looked to him a lot these days, always thinking of him as the brother she never had.

It was getting late, almost curfew, and she knew she should be heading back to her room. Quistis probably had their kitchen demolished and something suspect for her to eat. Her temper was preventing it. She was irrational and angry, unable to fully appreciate what was going on around her. Several times she had walked into other people, not stopping even to apologise.

She was surprised when she ended up in the dormitories anyway, although it wasn't at her own room. She knocked on the door, waiting for endless moments before Ethan appeared in the doorway.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

**_Aurora_**

_Midnightcatch__ – I'm glad I threw you off! I hope to be repeating that all the way through the story. Thank you for your reviews and I look forward to hearing your future comments._

_Freyjadour__ – Thank you so much for your reviews.__ It's been a pleasure to read them and know how much the story has been appreciated so far. I hope to be entertaining you as much as I am now, all the way through. If you have anything to add or something you feel is missing, don't hesitate to let me know. Thank you again and hopefully I'll be hearing more from you._

_Jayliyah – I wanted to experiment with the different angle since like you, I had noticed a lot of writers have Rinoa being the one to disappear. I hope this reversal is as entertaining and believable as the more common conception. Thanks for taking the time to review._

_Thanks to everyone who's been reading along with me!_


	5. Shattered Knights, Calm

**_Shattered Knights – Calm_**

Quistis watched Rinoa poking at her salad from the corner of her eye, conversation becoming a faint hum in the background for the moment. It had been almost two weeks since she'd healed Rinoa after her training accident. In the time since then it was as if a new woman had suddenly taken the place of her friend. She couldn't put her finger on it but something about Rinoa was definitely different.

She had noticed Rinoa spending an awful lot of time with one of the older SeeDs; not older than themselves but certainly of the later graduating classes. There had been an occasion where she'd spotted them laughing in the corridors together and for a moment her heart had stopped in her chest. The young man in question bore such a shocking resemblance to Squall that Quistis had actually looked twice, almost rubbing her eyes to see if it would help. In the end, it seemed the similarities were only upon first glance; Ethan was far from similar to Squall in physicality or mannerisms. There was enough to play tricks on the heart, however…

His name was Ethan Vayle, an L20 SeeD that had graduated shortly after Rinoa herself had. They met on a mission in Esthar and since then, from snippets of information Quistis had been able to garner from Robert, the two had been carrying on a steady friendship. Rinoa had never mentioned him and she wondered if that was due to his likeness to her former knight. It couldn't be easy to form an attachment to someone who was so familiar yet completely alien.

Other than a few disciplinary actions as a youngster, Ethan's record was clean. His instructors had all positive things to say about him and there was even a letter of recommendation from a previous client that offered to sponsor his advancement to higher ranks. All in all, Quistis couldn't find anything about him to raise any alarms. She knew that if Rinoa knew she was running background checks on her friends it would be her neck but there were some risks the Commander wasn't willing to take.

"So like, what's been happening?" Selphie asked, stealing another french-fry from Irvine's plate.

Selphie had arrived home a few days ago. After the restoration of Trabia Garden was complete, she had surprised everyone by putting in an application for the new Diplomatic Corps within Garden. It had made sense afterwards when everyone took the time to adjust and it was a very Selphie thing to do. To the world she was the happy-go-lucky girl that brought a sense of frivolity to the usually uniform life of a SeeD. Underneath, there was a striking intelligence few were privy to. Selphie Tilmitt was a military girl through and through, despite being somewhat innocent.

The missions of diplomats were known only by the Garden Masters but as Commander, Quistis knew the vast majority of their work was just a cover for the underhand espionage work. Most of the time, Quistis didn't think even Selphie knew what the next order might be. She seemed to enjoy her work though and it was through her efforts that a Garden was established in Esthar.

"I hear you got busted for magic misuse." Irvine smirked at Zell, eyes sparkling beneath the rim of his black cowboy hat. He'd returned from his mission just before Selphie and quickly settled back into his role of teasing Zell at every available moment.

The cowboy was leant back in his tan leather jacket, long hair drawn up in a ponytail with an arm around the back of Selphie's chair. He had graduated as a SeeD shortly after Rinoa but wore the title as uncomfortably as she did. They both were not SeeDs at heart but more due to circumstance. Irvine had Selphie to his advantage however and so long as she remained within the ranks of Garden, he too would stay. Quistis envisioned him eventually settling down in a place like Winhill where he was as far from civilization. She was also sure that Selphie would follow him.

Of the few things remaining since their dealings with Ultimecia, the love shared by these two was one of them. Their relationship had always been somewhat eclipsed by Rinoa and Squall but where they had failed, these two endured. They were an unlikely couple; she the bouncy soldier and he the consummate ladies man but they complimented each other nicely. He was still a considerable flirt but Selphie knew it to be just his nature; his heart lay with her.

His days were overtaken by shipping out as a SeeD soldier, working for whomever requested their services. Quistis tried, without either of their knowledge, to deploy Irvine where Selphie was likely to be but it wasn't always possible. Still, whether it was because they had frequent communication between them or each a strength of character, they bore the separation well.

Zell scowled over at Irvine, flicking a rolled up paper wrapper in the cowboy's direction. He missed. "So I was summoning GF in the training centre after curfew." He shrugged, not once glancing over to Rinoa as he continued. "Slap on the wrist."

Quistis eyed him over the table. This was the cover story they had come up with to disguise the real reason for the magic influx after curfew. They both knew the cause to be Rinoa but it was imperative she not be connected with the incidents in any way. By taking the blame, Zell had only earned a brief note in his file from the disciplinary committee. As an instructor he was entitled to train at whatever times he wanted and so any future incidents could be rested on his shoulders too, without further reprimand. It was the perfect cover.

Rinoa had no clue…

 "With an aim like that Instructor, it's a wonder any of your students make it through basic training." Irvine continued, his smile becoming wider as a red flush appeared in Zell's cheeks. The statement was in jest; Zell had surpassed himself as a SeeD instructor, producing cadets that not only completed their exams but set Garden standards.

"Wanna take this outside, cowboy?" Zell flexed his gloved fingers. "We'll see how hot you are without your shotgun."

Quistis rolled her eyes. "Boys…" She warned, fighting a smile as Zell and Irvine continued to silently taunt one another across the table. Really, some things hadn't changed since their infancy at the orphanage. It seemed Zell was doomed to spend the rest of his life as the butt of everyone's jokes.

Still, Zell's combat speciality was martial arts and he was the best in Garden, if not the world. Much as she would enjoy the spectacle of Irvine and Zell scuffling around like schoolboys, it would most likely end up with both of them in the infirmary and the rest of the students goggling at their superiors. As riotously funny as that might have been years ago, things were different now.

Sometimes, Quistis really whished she wasn't the Commander. Granted, she had hoped one day she would progress from an instructor to the higher ranks but not under the circumstances she had.

She had never been on the same level as some of their friends, since she was the oldest and already an instructor whilst they were students. Her greatest ties had been to Squall and after his departure, she seemed to become more aware of the gap between them. Maybe it was just her imagination. No one had mentioned anything of the sort and it would be just like her to fester in insecurity. It was just that becoming the Commander had put another block in her relations. She didn't want to lose touch with these people she would give her life for.

"Yo, Boss!" Zell waved a hand in front of Quistis's face. "You still with us?"

"Unfortunately." Quistis grumbled, swatting Zell's hand like she might an irritating bug. The martial artist merely grinned back at her, taking the dry comment as it was meant.

"Guess that only leaves the Princess unaccounted for." Irvine finished, glancing across at Rinoa who was still rearranging the salad on her plate. The array of vegetables hadn't looked appetising when she'd first brought them over but now she had listlessly toyed with them for over an hour, they looked like a fate worse than death.

Rinoa didn't look up, hadn't looked up in fact for an awfully long time. Whatever was preying on her mind was so consuming she was even missing out on the ribbing Zell was receiving and that was usually everyone's favourite activity.

Zell grinned, a mischievous smile that completely gave away his intentions. "Maybe this'll work…" He cleared his throat for effect. "Hey look, there's Ethan!"

Rinoa's gaze immediately lifted from her plate, scanning the canteen for Ethan. It took her a moment to register the giggles from her friends and realise they were playing her. At the moment, she really didn't have the stomach for this humour.

"Oh, who's Ethan?" Selphie squealed, practically leaping out of her chair at this potential piece of gossip.

Quistis was too late to stop the sudden eruption from Selphie but her withering glare directed at Zell made him shrink into his chair. That was _not_ the way to get Rinoa's attention and from the young sorceress's uncomfortable shuffling, she completely agreed with the sentiment.

Rinoa stood, not able to look at any of her friends. She wanted to cry but didn't know why. "I have a lesson." She mumbled, quickly leaving the table before anyone could stop her.

Everyone watched Rinoa disappear from sight, her uniform quickly blending into the countless others in the canteen. She became one of many and moved through the assembled crowds like a wraith, her only desire being to escape the sudden guilt.

"What was that all about?" Irvine asked, feeling as though he too was missing something of recent events. "Who's Ethan?"

"It's complicated." Quistis said with a sigh, pushing her own plate of food away. She was suddenly not hungry. "Don't you have a lesson, Instructor Dincht?"

He did but it wasn't for another hour. Zell quickly caught on to the fact Quistis was mad with him; she never called him 'Instructor' unless she was annoyed. So he took his cue and left the canteen, utterly deflated.

Irvine gave Selphie a quick kiss on the cheek, feeling his heart jolt a little with her excited giggle from the contact, before leaping up after Zell. "Hey man, wait up!"

Zell didn't wait and Irvine had to jog to catch up with his brooding friend. He understood his mood since he really hadn't meant any harm in the comment. Most likely Rinoa wasn't actually that upset by it either, only overwhelmed by the new sensations. She just wasn't ready for her confusion to be laughed at. Irvine would even place money on Rinoa being the first of the two to apologise.

The two instructors had bonded over the years to the point of being brother and sister, if only in name. When they weren't bickering over the most asinine things, they were completely inseparable. Rinoa confided things in Zell she would never dream of telling the others. They seemed to find support in the other, knowing that they each were feeling a similar grief. Rinoa's pain was obvious but Zell would never admit, even on pain of death, how much Squall's departure had affected him…

"I didn't mean to." Zell muttered sullenly after a while of walking in silence. He really hadn't meant to upset Rinoa like that. If he'd known she was feeling sensitive about the issue, he really wouldn't have brought it up. Sometimes, he just didn't think before opened his damn mouth.

"She'll get over it." Irvine assured, patting Zell on the back as the other man continued to mope. His only response was a grunt from underneath blonde spiky hair. Even if it hadn't been Rinoa he'd upset, he'd have taken it hard; he was a sensitive guy under all the boyish exuberance.

"Hey…" Irvine pulled his hat down lower over his face in a nervous gesture. His usually confident voice had suddenly diminished into an edgy croak. "Di-did you finish it yet?"

The shorter man quickly glanced around the corridor before speaking, making sure no one would overhear. "Yeah, it's done…" Zell glanced behind him again before looking up at Irvine. "You can pick it up tonight, after curfew."

Irvine's returning smile was tremulous at best.

--

Rinoa deflected a fire spell coming toward her with a mere wave of her hand and a well cast blizzard. A few lingering ice crystals and snow drifted to the ground, revealing the sheepish looking student responsible for the errant magic. She smiled encouragingly, not at all upset about the misdirected spell and was pleased when her young student looked a little less worried than before. Her name was Sarah.

"You're real good with spells." She said, almost in awe of the mastery her instructor had over magic. She was barely into double-digits in years and for a moment Rinoa couldn't get over the sickening feeling that she was turning a child into a soldier.

"Thank you." She replied after a moment, mustering her smile again. "Years of practise." She winked.

"Could I do it too?"

Rinoa knelt down, hiking up her skirt a little to accommodate the motion. She was now more or less eye-level with her student and the young girl seemed to inch closer toward her instinctively. "I think…" Rinoa started, brushing an enduring icicle off the girl's training uniform. "One day, you could be even better than me."

Sarah seemed to debate the idea over in head for a while. Her face screwed up and a tongue briefly poked out from the corner of her mouth, such was the depth of her deliberation. Rinoa had to fight the impulse to laugh. It was hard to imagine these children growing up into SeeDs when they were still so innocent.

Most of the students at Garden were orphans and although Rinoa knew it was safer for them here than out on the streets or state orphanages, she found the morals of her job difficult. What these children needed more than anything were parents; people to love them, not treat them like soldiers. Though Rinoa formed much stronger bonds with her pupils here than would be expected at a state school, she still could not give all the love that a mother could.

What she could do however was try and make their childhoods a little less focussed on the art of war. Every now and then, she would show them the affection of a mother and be there more as a friend than an instructor. It was not an attitude adopted by most of the teaching staff but Rinoa had known the love of her mother, even if only for a brief time, and she knew it was something no child should be so unfortunate as to miss out on.

Rinoa quickly glanced over Sarah's shoulder at the rest of her class, making sure no one else had managed to burn the building down while her attention was elsewhere. Junior Classmen were like the ocean; you ought never turn your back on them.

She stood, completely forgetting her little discussion with a still pondering Sarah and adopted the role of instructor once more. She clapped her hands twice. "Everyone at attention!"

Her class immediately stilled, each child standing to attention as though they were about to undergo inspection. Rinoa would be the first to admit that a military upbringing had its advantages in the classroom, if nothing else. The room was so quiet you could have heard a penny drop. She cocked her head in the direction of the doorway with a grin. "Two lines."

There were about twenty children in her class, all similar ages to Sarah. They scurried to the doorway as soon as she finished speaking and Rinoa let her grin widen as they started to compete amongst themselves for position in line. When the ruckus died down, she led them out of the practical classroom and into Garden's main thoroughfares.

SeeDs and other students all turned as their little procession walked by. Rinoa was at the head of the two lines, her own walk casual but her students marching in perfect time. She couldn't help the sense of pride; she may not have taught them the basics of military life but she at least commanded their actions now and their conduct was outstanding.

She led them out into the groves surrounding Garden, walking away from the ornamental areas, further out to where the apple trees were blossoming. The pink and white petals had already begun to fall in the breeze and created a kind of blanket over the grass. Their scent was unmistakable and Rinoa didn't try to hide the smile that overcame her face when the soft fragrance brushed against her senses.

Rinoa's 'instructor attitude' had suddenly blown away with the petals. "Okay guys, get under the apple trees."

She laughed at the general confusion that overcame her students as they all looked to one another, then moved as a single nervous unit under the great trees. Rinoa had decided up in the classroom that it was time these children were reminded that they were indeed children. At the same time, she was also going to cast off this cloud that had been stalking her all morning. She was going to have fun.

Rinoa held out her palm, fingers splayed apart, feeling her blood moving in her veins and the breath in her lungs. In her mind, she searched for her powers and felt them suddenly come to life, as if they had been waiting for her call.

The station of sorceress had only ever brought her pain but for this one moment in time, she would achieve something remarkable with it.

"Aero…" Her voice was but a whisper, most of it stolen by the sudden gust of wind that issued from her outstretched palm. Her magic coiled about the branches of the apple trees like a snake, tossing each limb as it passed. The blossom petals shook loose and suddenly Rinoa's students were concealed from view, as if by a snow storm.

Rinoa couldn't see them but she could hear their laughter as they played in the petals, all military decorum completely forgotten. She imagined them all spinning in circles, faces tilted up to the little flurries of snow-like petals as they descended. There would be fighting, she knew, the fistfuls of petals as ineffective as air but hilariously fun.

For today she was just a teacher and these children were students like any other in the world. They no longer had to think about the best ways to draw magic from an opponent, the finer details of weapon handling and what would happen the day they were ordered to hunt the sorceress. To hunt her… Today, all of them, were simply people playing in the gardens.

For a moment Rinoa contemplated joining them or at the very least, conjuring another gust of wind to knock down some more petals, but as she moved a sudden rumbling grew out from her chest. She clutched a hand to the breast of her uniform, trying to distinguish this feeling that was so much like the rumbling of a bass stereo through her body. She was about to disregard it is as some bizarre hunger pang but it all of a sudden thundered through her ears like the roar of some massive beast.

She looked around frantically, hoping she was not the only one assailed by this noise but everyone within sight seemed to be unaware. On the verge of getting her students to call for help, Rinoa spotted the tall silhouette of Ethan. When their eyes locked the noise increased to such a crescendo Rinoa thought she would go deaf. Then it was gone, as quickly as it had arrived, only the sounds of screaming children and twittering birds reaching her consciousness.

Ethan's concern was obvious as he all but ran toward her. What would she say; that she was hearing monsters?

"Are you okay?" His voice was quiet but alarmed. Fingers ghosted along her arm in a silent connection and for once, Rinoa didn't shy away from the hesitant touch. His worry was soothing.

"Yeah." Her voice was hoarse and her ears were still ringing. "I'm okay."

Ironically, _this_ had been her issue at lunch earlier. Her connection to Ethan was getting stronger and much as she tried to tell herself she was doing nothing wrong, she couldn't help the guilt. Something inside her was fighting against this and all she wanted was to give in. She was so sick of being on her own. Her reaction at lunch might have been a little over the top but at the time, her thoughts had been all-consuming.

"You're working too hard." Ethan whispered, brushing loose hair behind her ear. She leant into the touch without thinking.

"Just a headache…" She mumbled, a faint rumbling of the noise still echoing through her mind. A headache was easier to explain, especially when she had no clue what was happening to her.

He was so close… Rinoa could taste his breath, feel the warmth of it on her face and for a moment she was assaulted by memories again, by the familiarity of such a close embrace. Her eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation of a touch she had almost forgotten. In the moment she thought it might arrive, she even leant on her toes, only to swerve at the last second when a chorus of high-pitched crooning erupted from under the apple trees.

Ethan's kiss landed on her cheek.

--

Later, after the debacle with her students and Ethan, Rinoa was still a violent red colour, not at all helped by Selphie who was sitting in the easy chair of her apartment and giggling. At least someone found her embarrassment amusing.

"Selphie…" Rinoa whined, suddenly dropping heavily to the couch and hiding her face in her hands. She couldn't take this, it was just too much. She was trying so hard and even though the jokes of her friends were light-hearted, she couldn't help feeling she had been caught in the act of betrayal. It was a silly notion, she knew, but it was too much like being judged.

Selphie stopped giggling rather abruptly, her attitude quickly shifting to that of a concerned friend. With Rinoa it was so easy to see a shift in mood; she wore her heart on her sleeve and always had. With the utmost care, she slipped from her place on the easy chair and crawled on all fours to the sofa. She rocked back on her haunches, yellow dungarees tightening around her thighs as she did and gently tried to raise Rinoa's face.

Selphie's pig-tails bobbed as she spoke. "It's okay, you know?"

The sorceress's face briefly softened and then transitioned to pained, her bottom lip beginning to tremble much as she tried to fight it. This comfort was like a soothing balm on a too raw wound. Someone to understand her was all she wanted; all she needed. All her determination would amount to nothing she knew, if she didn't have her friends. Fighting alone had always been her hardest challenge.

How was she supposed to articulate a feeling she herself couldn't name?

"We just want you to be happy, 'Noa…" Selphie added, smiling when Rinoa finally looked into her eyes. "You deserve to be happy." She stated emphatically, drawing Rinoa into a hug before she could protest.

Rinoa resisted to begin with but soon found herself taking a deep, relaxing breath and leaning on the smaller woman for support. She never needed permission to do what she wanted, was in fact the type of woman who frequently did as she pleased regardless, but hearing Selphie's words, the softness in them, Rinoa realised that she had in reality been hanging on for their approval. She didn't _need_ their input but she had wanted it just the same.

"Thank you…"

The door to the apartment opened quickly and the two women turned in their shared embrace to see Quistis trudging through door. She took off her glasses whilst kicking the door shut, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was the vision of exhaustion and frustration, immediately moving to stand in front of Rinoa and Selphie.

She held out at small card to Rinoa, the ones Garden officially used to designate orders. Before she even looked at the orders, Rinoa _knew_ she wasn't going to like it.

"I'm sorry." Quistis offered. "I've been trying to get us out of it all afternoon but Cid won't hear of it."

Rinoa read the orders and looked up at her superior incredulously. "You're joking, right? You can't be serious… _We're_ going to the GU talks in Deling as _Garden Representitives_!?"

**_Aurora_**

_Freestyler – That would giving the game away! -laughs-_

_TrueDarkHero__ – Thanks. The two single view chapters with Rinoa and Squall were deliberate, in order to really get a feel for each of their situations. I wanted that to contrast with the subsequent chapters, to really throw their emotions into relief. Hopefully the upset with the change in view will lesson in time. Thank you for mentioning it – in future if I use a similar method in writing I know to take into account the jarring effect it can have. Hope to hear more from you again!_

_Freyjadour__ – Those feelings you're talking about are going to get deeper and deeper as time goes on. I'm glad you're seeing the setup for what it is and not a poor attempt to make life hard for the protagonists. Hopefully this update arrived in good time. -grins-_

_Thanks to everyone who read & reviewed, it's much appreciated. Comments and criticisms are welcome. Hell, I encourage them!_


	6. Shattered Knights, Duty

**_Shattered Knights – Duty_**

Rinoa stared out at the horizon, the rhythm of the train wheels pounding through her body. The first rays of sunshine were beginning to spill over the landscape, like golden syrup over pancakes. The countryside came alive with colour, brushing away the last of the predawn darkness and awakening the world over to a new day.

It felt like she was seeing far too many sunrises these days. She was tired.

The gravelled hues of the Monterosa Plateau began changing from ash to clay and Rinoa could envision the lush grassland on the other side, the small forests and Obel Lake, all leading her in the direction of Timber. It seemed an age since she had last visited the sleepy town that had been more than a home to her. Now she was on the Galbadian continent she could think of nothing but finally making the return journey. For too long she had been stuck on Balamb Island, at a distance from the rest of the world.

She wondered how much had changed. Were the streets now filled with people and all the little stores open? How much had they added to their small piece of the earth, now that they were no longer impeded by Galbadian soldiers? Was it still possible to walk from one side of the town to the other and know every face you passed?

On this side of the plateau range there was nothing but arid grassland and desert. It was no wonder Galbadian forces had sought to increase their boundaries, encroaching on the more hospitable areas. The irony wasn't missed that in a bid for world domination, they had lost almost everything. The only real city of Galbadia was Deling; even the Garden here had never been restored.

Unfortunately, this wasn't a trip for indulging personal whims. Despite Quistis's and her own objections, the two of them had still departed for Deling yesterday morning. They had sailed from Balamb to Dollet and were now taking the train through the vast dry-lands to Deling. It was an arduous trip under the best of conditions but the perpetual cloud of annoyance made it even worse.

It had been such short notice. Even now, Rinoa still thought there were infinitely more qualified members of Garden to be heading their arguments at these talks; people who had Garden's best interests at heart and knew how to make politics work for them. She was just a SeeD and it struck her that even Quistis felt out of her depth in this position. The Commander's job was to ensure the welfare of the students and the day-to-day training of SeeDs, following on into military deployment of those SeeDs. Neither of them should be attending the Global Union talks.

The only good news to be had on the event was that Zell and Selphie had also been drafted into the operations. Zell was to head the security force protecting her father and Selphie was designated as a 'shadow'; whatever that meant. The woman had been very elusive with the details of her assignment, as always.

Rinoa would have to endure torment like she had never known; listening to the droning of crusty politicians. But at least she would be in the best of company for it. Maybe if time allowed they could all take a breather at the beach.

"Train, train… Take us away…" She hummed, letting the first smile in the entire journey take a foothold on her features. It was a tune Selphie always sang whilst they were journeying on the train. It seemed fitting that even though the young woman wasn't travelling with them, her love of trains was honoured. It also helped to fend off the mind-numbing tedium.

"We'll be there soon." Quistis soothed from the shrouded corners of their SeeD cabin, misinterpreting Rinoa's humming as impatience.

"I was just thinking about Selphie." Rinoa replied tiredly, turning away from the windows. She was impatient to be off the train but not to the point where she thought it might show. Getting off the train meant they were in Deling and the GU talks were a pleasure Rinoa was willing to suspend indefinitely.

"She's probably already there." Quistis grumbled, standing from the couch and stretching her long limbs. "Zell too."

Selphie and Zell had left a few days previously. The latter had already been in contact with Rinoa to complain about her father. Caraway was, as always, an overbearing officer but this time he was even surpassing previous levels of abrasiveness, making life nigh-on impossible for his escort. Rinoa assured that should someone throw a punch at her father, Zell would be well within his rights to just let it happen.

"I still don't see why _we're_ going." She stated after a pause, her real frustrations surfacing again.

"Because." Quistis stated patiently, reaching for the shoulder lapels of Rinoa's uniform and straightening them out. "Cid feels that it would be good for me to step outside of Garden and see the 'big picture' of our role in society. And you, you're the sorceress and a SeeD. He thinks it's important you see the real world views on both of those aspects."

Rinoa was losing her battle to petulance. "I think Cid just didn't want to go…"

"And Cid didn't want to go himself."

The sorceress rolled her eyes; she just knew they were being saddled with this mission because everyone higher up the hierarchy had decided delegate. Cid may have dressed their orders up in plausible reasoning on their better development but it was still delegation. It didn't pay to be a ranking officer in Garden and low down on the food chain. It really didn't.

If anyone should be attending the talks it should be the Garden Masters, as far as Rinoa was concerned. It was what they were hired to do, after all; handle the monetary issues for Garden as well as the battles in politics. They'd ordered the creation of the Diplomatic Corps for that very purpose, yet seemed to use it for anything but.

"Do I actually have to listen to any of these guys?" Rinoa groaned, steering away from her angry thoughts.

Quistis rolled her eyes this time, a grin fighting across her face. "You're hopeless, you know that?"

"What?" The picture of innocence. "We both know there's no point. If something important was going to happen, we wouldn't be here."

There was no refuting that logic, much as Quistis might have liked to.

She was saved from fabricating a plausible answer by the jolting of the train as it stopped. The two women looked each other in the eye. They had arrived and now they would have to step off the train as soldiers; as SeeDs. All the banter about terrible orders and unfairness would have to stop. There would be no more laughing or muttering where anyone could over-hear them. It was all strictly business.

Quistis smiled encouragingly one last time, pushing a lock of dark hair back behind Rinoa's ear. She led the way out of the private cabin toward the nearest exit, looking every inch the Commander. Her shoulders were square, her uniform immaculately pressed and her gaze alert but indifferent. Rinoa followed a few paces behind, feeling completely dwarfed by the sudden professionalism.

Butterflies were going wild in her stomach as she stepped off the train and into the milling station crowd.

All eyes seemed to turn on them as they emerged. Galbadian soldiers shielded their passage off the platform as well as from the bombarding questions of news crews and overzealous petitioners. The clamour was deafening and whatever preconceived notion Rinoa had of these talks being a simple affair suddenly evaporated.

She had no idea so many people had taken an interest. Never before had Rinoa seen so many people banded together on a unified goal. It should have been a warming thought that finally peace was beginning to settle in but it only succeeded in making her more nervous. Nothing good ever came from restless crowds.

Rinoa tugged at her uniform again, trying to get the well-starched shoulder plates to sit comfortably on her frame. It was a losing battle she knew but it was a distraction from all the people crushing around them. There was a cloying dread hanging on her nerves and she couldn't pin the reason why.

She focussed on the cobbles beneath their feet as they walked toward the Deling City Hotel. It put a barrier between herself and the crowds, dulling the multitude of voices beginning to become overpowering. She was so focussed that when Quistis stopped walking, she walked into the back of her.

The hundreds of gathered people parted as a wave, admitting the passage of a small procession coming toward them. The faces in the group were not distinguishable for the distance but the uniforms of Esthar soldiers were unmistakable. Sunlight streamed off the pale armour, lending their images something otherworldly. Their presence was met with a mixture of wonder and resentment.

Rinoa's heart started thumping wildly in her chest. She knew this moment would come but had somehow managed to push the reality far back into her mind. She wasn't ready to deal with this. She couldn't see Laguna now, not when she was only coming to terms with her new relationship with Ethan and the final surrender of her affections for Squall.

A gentle pressure started in the small of her back and Rinoa focussed on Quistis long enough to see her smile encouragingly. Whisper soft words echoed in her ears and somehow she found the will to start walking again, albeit on shaky legs.

The time it took for the two parties to meet spanned a small eternity for Rinoa. Each stuttering breath echoed in her ears and the hundreds of people gathered around faded into obscurity. Her eyes had locked with Laguna's across the distance and they both seemed unable to look anywhere else. Nervous sweat was gathering on her palms and she screwed them up tightly, wishing to God that this encounter would be short-lived.

"Rinoa…" His voice seemed to come from far away, hands cool when they closed around her own in greeting.

For a moment all she could do was look at Laguna, at the haunting familiarity of his eyes and coach herself not to cry. "Mr President." She choked, reviving enough to awkwardly shake his hand.

Quistis offered a formal SeeD salute in greeting, smiling brilliantly. "It's good to see you again, Sir."

"Please." Laguna begged, leading their combined party into the Deling Hotel and away from the crowds. His cheeks were going red. "Can you just call me Laguna?"

The Commander chuckled. "Laguna." She affirmed. "How was your journey?"

"Long and boring." He groaned, tucking some greying strands of dark hair behind his ear. His likeness to Squall was heartbreaking. "I'd have given anything to fly in the Ragnarok with you guys."

It took Quistis a moment to gather her wits, she too caught off-guard by the obvious paternity. "We came in on the train from Dollet." She relayed, wishing they had just flown in on the Ragnarok. As it was, no one had used the space-capable ship in years and it was still docked at Garden, collecting hangar dust.

Laguna sympathised. "Well, hopefully it'll all be worth it."

"I'm sure it will be…"

They had stopped in the foyer of the hotel, a small group huddled together amongst a sea of politicians. Soldiers of all different armies and regiments weaved this way and that with their charges, on the lookout for any signs of trouble. There were no small amount of SeeDs and every now and then one would catch the Commander's eye, offering up a salute in recognition and support.

"Zo, how are you my Sorceress?"

Quistis's head jerked round so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. Her own reprimand was drowned out by a chorus of angry 'shh' noises from both Rinoa and Laguna. In the hubbub of the crowds and wrestling their way into the hotel, Odine's presence had gone completely unnoticed. Until now.

"I'm fine." Rinoa gritted out, her face unusually pale. She looked down on the dwarf with a glare that could kill.

"Good. Good. Zis is good." Odine agreed, ignoring the several murderous looks directed toward him. Tact had never been one of Odine's defining qualities but as the head of scientific and magical research of Esthar, he often got away with his less than sensitive outbursts.

No one seemed to have paid any attention to his comments and there was a collective heave of relief. "Well. When you are free for one moment, you must attend my laboratory in Esthar for a _full _check-up." He continued, bobbing around their knees like an overanxious toddler.

"Sure." Rinoa agreed, if only to get this conversation on to a less dangerous topic. The blood had left her face so fast she was feeling lightheaded. That on top of meeting Laguna and she was feeling extremely drained.

"I'm sure Instructor Heartilly has better things to be doing than taking time-out to indulge your curiosities." Laguna said sternly, trying desperately to diffuse the potentially volatile and dangerous situation. All they needed was for one nosey Governor to overhear their conversation and Rinoa's true identity would be out to the world. He would never forgive himself if that happened.

"But iz important." Odine wailed, throwing his hands up and waddling around Rinoa's legs as if to coral her.

"I'll go." Rinoa implored, keeping her voice as low as possible, watching the little man scurry around her legs. He wasn't helping her dizziness at all. "I'll go. Just stop talking about this here, _please_."

"Excellent." And the conversation was seemingly terminated. Then Odine opened his mouth again and Rinoa had to stuff her hands behind her back to keep them from murder. "How iz Squall? I have not seen the boy for quite some time."

"Squall Leonhart left his position at Garden quite some time ago and hasn't been heard from since." Quistis deadpanned, not glancing at Rinoa who had to be on the verge of tears by now. "Now, if you'll excuse us." She gestured to a bellboy who was holding a SeeD placard in the air. "I think our rooms are ready."

Rinoa was already walking away. She didn't say goodbye or even show the required respect to Laguna; he was president of the most powerful nation in the world and courtesy had to be given. It didn't matter they were good friends. In public, as SeeDs and presidents, decorum had to be upheld.

But instead of a reprimand or even a warning from the guards, Laguna hurried after Rinoa and grabbed her hand just as she was about to disappear into the elevator. She spun fast, almost throwing both of them off-balance. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. She couldn't speak to him or even acknowledge his gesture of support.

"I didn't mean for that to happen." He whispered.

Her answering nod was jerky, her throat constricting tightly. She knew he was sorry and he would never mean any harm to come to her. It just wasn't enough.

--

"I'm sorry." Rinoa offered, pulling her hair down from the confines of a clip and threading both hands into the dark tresses. "I just… I wasn't ready for that." She slumped down onto one of the two non-descript beds, hiking her skirt up a little to relive the tension around her legs.

"It's okay." And it was. "Odine should know better than to talk about you being the sorceress in public." Quistis couldn't help the sudden swell of anger toward the man. It went without saying he should know better than to bring Squall into the conversation as well.

"Would it be a breach of international relations if at some point during our mission, Odine was to be drop-kicked over the nearest precipice by SeeD?"

Quistis had to do a double-take. Rinoa had spoken the words, for sure, but the tone of her voice was so formal it actually sounded as though she was addressing her as a Commander rather than a friend. It took a few moments for it to sink in and for Quistis to start laughing. She was glad Rinoa was at least trying to find some amusement in the situation.

"I'll go and see Laguna later and apologise." She continued with a sigh. "I shouldn't have walked off like that."

"No, you shouldn't have. But you know he understands."

Rinoa nodded. Everyone always understood and she was beginning to hate it more than anything. She didn't want to be a sorceress that needed the world to understand her innocence. She didn't want to be a girl with a broken heart that needed her grief understood. She didn't want any of it.

Would it be too much to ask, just to be a regular woman?

There was a knock at the door before it opened, admitting a very flustered Zell and giggling Selphie. The former pulled the top buttons loose on his uniform before flopping back on the nearest bed with a groan to rival a bear. At everyone's questioning looks, Selphie only giggled again.

"The General." She said simply, glancing knowingly at Rinoa. General Caraway had already put Zell through the works and the assignment wasn't even half over yet.

"The guy needs to remove the Galbadian flag from his butt and quit stomping on all the little people." Zell voiced, pointedly looking at Quistis and daring her to defend the man.

Rinoa's father, General of the Galbadian military, was well known for being completely impossible. His attitude had been one of the many contributory factors leading to the estrangement of his only child.

Zell wasn't done. "I mean, would it be too much to ask for him to be 'normal', like every other stuffed shirt here?" He sat up, thrusting his hands out. "He's got me organising his breakfast menu, the minutes of his day and picking up his damn dry-cleaning. He changes his schedule last second without telling me and I end up standing in the middle of some damn restaurant like an idiot. _Normal_ politicians want to make shadows out of SeeDs; they want to make sure no one is going to sniper them from the rooftops." He looked at Quistis again with a heavy scowl. "And believe me, I've damn well thought about arranging that for him."

Zell looked at Rinoa after taking a deep breath. "Sorry, 'Noa." And he was. He didn't want to hate her father but he was being driven to it.

"It's okay." She replied with a shake of her head. She knew exactly how impossible her father could be when he wanted. Most likely he was only doing it because she had refused his request. Maybe they could drop-kick both Odine and her father over the nearest cliff.

"How about we get out of here?" Quistis said, loosening her own collar and pulling her hair out. "We're off duty for now and I don't know about you guys but I'm starving."

"Food." Selphie squealed. She was already out the door before anyone could respond to Quistis's invitation.

--

Quistis was smiling. Her long blonde hair was free of her usually stylish bun and swaying below her shoulders. The glasses were gone and the sapphire of her eyes was shining in mirth. Her image was one of complete contentment, her body language radiating happiness as she walked down the cobbled pathways with friends.

Friends Squall remembered so well. The image of them all together, so happy, made his gut clench uncomfortably. By Quistis's side were Zell and Selphie, both seemingly untouched by the years that had passed. He ached at their familiarity, so close and yet so far away. Even the way Selphie's pigtails bounced in-time to her steps had remained unchanged.

But the real focus of Squall's attention was the raven haired woman walking a little ahead. She was spinning every now and then to address her comrades, the starched edges of a SeeD uniform fitting snugly to her body. She was smiling so wide Squall could see her back teeth.

The tears burned as they fell down his gaunt cheeks.

Rinoa was as beautiful as he remembered. From the curve of her lips, the playful sparkle in her eyes and the slender turn of her body; everything was endlessly familiar. She was a vision of water in the desert. Even the poor quality television-screen did little to dull her image. He ran his trembling, bony fingers over the screen, leaving a dirty smear in his wake.

If he concentrated hard enough he could almost feel her warm skin beneath his own, so very soft. The indentations of her jaw and neck were mapped out in his memory and now he brought them back, imagining the steady thrum of her pulse in the hollow of her throat. Her bottomless gaze would settle on him and she would smile like she was now in unabashed happiness.

"I understand." He croaked. His lips bled where they split.

And he did understand. Rinoa was still safe and oblivious to the danger she could be in. His continued cooperation, his unquestioning obedience ensured that she would stay that way.

"Good." Brogue said, spitting a hunk of tobacco juice at Squall's cheek before he grabbed his matted hair and dragged him back to his cell. For the entire way, Squall watched Rinoa's careless face as she continued to walk with her friends, heedless of the foul-smelling gob running down his face. He would hold that image in his consciousness for the rest of his days.

"Because." Brogue thrust Squall back into the wall, shackling him into place. "The boss has a special thing planned for you." He grabbed Squall's beard and brought their gazes together. "He'd hate for you to go and forget why you're here in the first place."

How could he ever forget?

**_Aurora_**

wasabi-raven – Thanks for the review. Good to hear it's still interesting. Hopefully you'll be sticking with it long enough to see that interest pay off.

Freyjadour – Well, you nothing if not honest, huh? I'm glad you want him dead, that is the idea. He's muscling in on taken territory, after all. But maybe he'll rub off on you eventually, who knows? I think you may have guessed right on the Zell thing too, but in the interests of surprise, we'll keep it our little secret till then. Thanks for reviewing and I hope you've enjoyed this new chapter as the last.

Jayliyah – Thank you very much… Reviews like yours are very rarely given and I'm honoured you took the time out to tell me so. I didn't always like this, though. Some of my other painful attempts are thankfully hidden away where no one will ever find them. -laughs- Of course they'll find each other, but the question remains; will they find one another soon enough to heal this breach, or is it already too late for a love that for all accounts, remained unspoken? Thank you again for your words and I hope to be hearing from you again in future chapters.

Thanks to everyone who R&R'd! See you again soon.


	7. Shattered Knights, World At Peace

**_Shattered Knights – World At Peace_**

The only people present were the security staff and news crews, barely discernable in the gloom. The teams of security were a motley bunch, made up of several military influences. Members of SeeD were working alongside Galbadian and Esthar soldiers. A few rag-tag soldiers from the newly appointed province of Timber were also milling around, their ranks filled out by rough looking mercenaries.

Every country and province had a point to make in these talks and the first was that they weren't taking any chances with their lives.

The massive conference hall which had been built specifically for the Global Union talks seemed to go on forever. The wood-panelled walls carried the gaze to almost dizzying lengths. But huge as the room was, it was completely overtaken by the table which was shaped in a great circle, engulfing the entire room in a hoop.

Each section of the table was partitioned by a small panel, breaking each province from their neighbour but not obstructing the view. Behind the sections were the standards of authority. Each were different; some brightly coloured whilst others were emblazoned with intricate symbols. Esthar's banner was the largest, preternaturally shimmering in the imposing room.

Garden's standard was pale blue, the flared yin-yang design in the centre highlighted with intricate gold weaving around it, like little flares of lightening. The same symbol was stitched to all their uniforms, painted on to vehicles and some even had the mark tattooed to their skin.

Rinoa brushed her fingers over the same symbol on her uniform, the stitching like braille against her fingers. What secrets would be made in this room? What feuds would be resolved, which countries would strike bargains and what allegiances would be made? Would these meetings cause more trouble than they would prevent and were they all doomed to squabble forever over the most infantile differences…?

With an uncomfortable grimace, Rinoa placed a hand gun into the holster at the small of her back. Whatever the day would bring, she would be ready for it.

"Hey, 'Noa."

"Jesus." Rinoa caught her breath with a start, spinning quickly as Zell's hand dropped from her shoulder, he too startled by the sudden action. "Don't sneak up on me like that." She scolded, breathless with her heart thumping against her ribs.

He smiled apologetically. "Sorry…"

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence that followed which had never been present in their conversations before. The rift that had come between them during the canteen incident, over Zell's unwise attempts to get Rinoa's attention, still hadn't been addressed. Rinoa had found him the same day and apologised but it had been too close to the event and too fleeting to really heal the chasm that was yawning before them.

They were on speaking terms and socialised well enough together when people were around them. But at times like this, when it was just two of them, it felt like there was a wall between their friendship.

Neither party liked it.

"I really am sorry…" Zell whispered, briefly looking at Rinoa's still turned back before darting his eyes away again.

She turned to him then, a rebuke on her lips that he hadn't scared her enough to warrant this kind of penitence but she recognised instantly that his apology was going to somewhere deeper. And she knew where.

"It's okay." And it was. The occasion was long passed and the damage done. Much as they both could feel the awkwardness, there was no point dwelling on it. More than that, it was an accident and not something malicious. "I know you didn't mean to make me leave." She continued, trying to encourage Zell to smile with a tremulous one of her own.

"I should have thought about it before I opened my damn mouth." He scolded, balling his fists in frustration.

"And I should have been a little less uptight." Rinoa conceded. "… Things are just so crazy at the moment."

"With Ethan?"

For a moment Zell thought his bravery had actually been foolishness in disguise because Rinoa's head glanced to the side and her lips closed tight. He was about to apologise again, for the umpteenth time but Rinoa suddenly launched forward and engulfed them both in a hug.

He stumbled back under their combined weight and righted quickly, stroking a shaking hand down Rinoa's long hair. She wasn't crying but the silence was more telling. He considered Rinoa his true sister; more of a family member than the other girls he had grown up with at Garden, even though he had known her for the least amount of time. This unspoken distance between them was painful. He had missed this position of trust she had given to him and a warm rush of pleasure filled his body at finally having recovered it.

"I'll get better." Rinoa mumbled, her voice rumbling through Zell's shoulder.

"You don't need to get better." He soothed, squeezing tightly just before they parted. "Stuff just takes time."

A voice broke through, shattering the moment. "Time is a valuable commodity Mr Dincht and you are wasting mine."

General Fury Caraway had entered, accompanied by his entourage of Galbadian soldiers. He had his arms folded over the broad expanse of his chest, rumpling the various medals hanging there. There were more grey streaks through his dark, closely cropped hair and a few more lines around his face. Military life was beginning to wear him down.

"I'm sorry, sir." Zell deadpanned, barely raising his arm for a salute. "I have assessed the area and found no threats. You may enter as you please."

"I don't need your assessments to tell me where I can and can not go, boy." His voice was gruff, more so than years ago when they had met on their mission to assassinate the Sorceress. "Get back to work."

As the General walked passed he didn't spare a glance at either of them. Rinoa didn't seem affected by the obvious exclusion and she stuck her tongue out at his retreating back. It made both of them laugh, almost as if they had stepped back in time to where they had both been so much younger.

"He'll never change." Rinoa grinned, pleased with herself.

In that moment, other officials began making their way in. They were shadowed by their guards and security personnel supplied by SeeD. Soon both she and Zell were surrounded by people.

"Good luck." He saluted, proud and tall as they had been taught; nothing like the gesture he'd given to Caraway. Rinoa grinned and saluted in return, watching his retreating back as he made his way to the Galbadian delegation. Zell would have the easier task of standing guard and for a moment Rinoa envied him; he would be sore come the end of the day but at least he would not have to speak out at these proceedings.

Selphie appeared briefly in the crowds and she too saluted when their eyes met. The ritual salute was quiet, friendly support buried beneath professionalism. On all missions they shared, the salutes were given like hugs and warm words. They meant more than the mere symbol of respect and they provided a blanket of security; she was not alone.

A few other SeeDs that Rinoa didn't recognise saluted to her and she saluted back absently, an automated response, watching the myriad of soldiers take their positions. The small pistol wedged into the back of her uniform was getting heavier by the moment.

With a deep sigh she moved over to the Garden seats. A neighbouring official pulled her chair out as she sat and they started casual conversation as the room filled. He was from a small isolated area on the Trabian continent. He wanted to arrange trade between his village and the newly restored Garden, as well as with Esthar which was further south. Rinoa didn't see a problem on either count but ultimately it would not be her decision to make. Laguna would definitely agree; would relish the opportunity of assisting those less fortunate even. But Garden's response would have to be delivered by the Masters or Cid. All she could do was take the request in hand and pass it along to the relevant personnel.

Another SeeD caught Rinoa's attention with a salute.

"You're here bright and early." Quistis observed, effortlessly slipping into the chair beside Rinoa's.

"Couldn't wait to get started." She quipped, barely restraining the urge to roll her eyes.

Quistis laughed, saluting to a SeeD across the room. "You have to get over this, Rinoa."

"I really don't." She replied sweetly, lowering her voice and giving Quistis her most innocent look. Another solider saluted to them as she took up her position on guard. "Are we being evaluated or something?" Rinoa asked, exasperated with having to salute every five minutes.

"They're green." Quistis groaned. "Garden didn't foresee any real danger so we got all the new graduates."

"Oh great. I'm glad Garden is taking this whole thing seriously."

"Let's just get this over with." The Commander said, her voice trailing off as Laguna stepped up to the microphone at his table.

Rinoa watched the man who had once been on the verge of becoming her father in law with a haunted gaze. Even without Squall, he held a somewhat fatherly position in her life. It was easier to evaluate his presence from this distance. Yesterday had been too overwhelming and she could only process being afraid; afraid of what he would say after all this time, that he would blame her for the loss of his son. Or that he would pity her, that he would feel as hopeless as she did.

At this distance there was safety. As the softness of his voice began filling the still room, every official hanging on his words, Rinoa could feel some of the fear ebb away. Laguna Loire was a gentle man and he would never harbour her any ill-will. She'd been silly to even think it. He felt her loss as keenly as she did.

His words brought back memories of endless phone-calls where they both had cried and others where they had laughed for hours. Rinoa found Laguna to be a great friend who believed like she did that one day Squall would come home. Together they could talk of their memories and not have them tainted by pessimism. Squall had been so much like his father at the core that Rinoa took a great deal of comfort from his presence.

But time had proven them both wrong. The calls died out to once a week, every other month and then not at all. They both forged on with separate lives, too desolate to even acknowledge their parting. Sitting here now, listening to Laguna once more, Rinoa wished she hadn't let go of that lifeline.

"… Each nation has overcome obstacles large and small to be present at these proceedings today. It is my hope that we can put our differences aside and unify ourselves as a single populace, striving for a better world for everyone. With this goal in mind, Esthar thanks you for your attendance and the efforts made at these talks… _I_ thank you."

Rinoa had missed the beginning of the speech but she picked up the round of applause with everyone else. Laguna's cheeks were going red and with a smile, Rinoa could imagine him limping back to his seat. His leg always cramped up when he was embarrassed.

"All representatives will receive their time in which to appeal to the room and so I ask that everyone be patient during which will undoubtedly be a long day. I would first like to open the floor to Governor Falls." Laguna gestured to the gentleman that Rinoa had been talking to before proceedings began, then took his own seat next to Odine.

"Thank you, Mr President." Governor Falls stood and bowed his head. He was a rake of man but he stood tall, hardy, like the majority of the people who lived in the north of Trabia's icy mountain ranges. "As one of the lesser provinces here, I too would like to extend my thanks. Any achievements we make here will not only benefit our combined needs but also those we represent…

I have come to these talks with the hope of setting up trade routes through Trabia from Esthar and the newly established Garden. With increased assistance and greater opportunity for work, my small village can expand and take a foothold in the cold plains. With time, a foundling city can be formed in the region and improve links with the west continent. We propose to trade food and timber primarily but with increased revenue from the trade, mines can be opened in the mountains to retrieve iron ore. There is also great scope for industrial development along the shores and certainly a shipyard."

Laguna was already smiling. Even if Esthar traded with the village at a loss, it would bring a profit to Laguna which would be priceless. Rinoa had known all along he would jump at a chance like this but he would have to be cautious with his response, as proper. Laguna was a genuine man that went out of his way to help others but in this room, he was a President first.

"Primarily, I don't see any problems in such a course of action." Even the tone of his voice wasn't really Laguna in this place but he couldn't keep the smile from his eyes. "Timber is a valuable resource and trade links with your village would mean it could be sourced locally, rather than from the dwindling Centra continent. An exchange of perishable goods would also be little problem. Together, we can arrange a trade beneficial to both our nations."

Governor Falls looked ready to burst with happiness at Laguna's response. It was rare to find such genuine men in politics and Rinoa took an instant liking to him. When he turned in Garden's direction, she wanted to cringe. She couldn't see their answer being as positive as Laguna's.

Quistis stood and addressed the man to their side, as well as the room at large. "The Garden at Trabia is only a few miles from your settlement, correct?"

The Governor nodded, his smile still fixed on his lips.

"As you know we were hit by a missile attack a few years ago and only recently has the Garden become operational once more. There are few staff and students in residence and none of the local farming and labour which is undertaken at our other Gardens has begun."

Even Quistis could talk politics with the rest of them, Rinoa realised. She was glad no one had directed any questions at her yet; she would no doubt sound like a moron in comparison to these people. Her Commander continued. "However, if an agreeable settlement can be reached with Esthar, Trabia Garden can be contracted to assist in the transport of goods through the regions. This would decrease the instance of loss in-transit. When the Garden is fully operational once more, an application can be made to begin open trade routes."

"Excellent." Governor Falls was beaming as he sat.

Rinoa thought these talks may come off smoothly but it soon perished as she saw her father stand at his station. Her eyes quickly shifted to Zell stood behind him before going back to her father. The grey military uniform reminded her of a storm cloud.

"On the topic of the restoration of Garden…" He began. His stern tone brought Rinoa back to her childhood. "Galbadia has put forward a petition to have the original Garden re-established."

Quistis hadn't bothered to sit down again. She had been expecting this motion and Cid had expressly directed her answer in the event it should occur. "The decision was unanimously made _not_ to rebuild a Garden in Galbadia. It would serve no purpose to the local nation and would be a drain on resources." She didn't let Caraway interrupt even though he kept trying. "Galbadia also has it's own military force and as has been proven in the past, comes into direct conflict with SeeD. In the future, Gardens will only be erected in those areas where little or no military force is stationed."

"Then what of Esthar?" Caraway retorted. "Am I to believe Garden feels Esthar's large military force is not stationed there or are you simply prejudiced against our nation?"

Several soldiers around the room reached for their weapons. They weren't drawn but the tension was rising. Rinoa thought it would have taken much longer for arguments to break out and scolded her foolishness for thinking things might go peacefully; things were never easy when her father was involved. She trained herself into her seat, resolutely keeping her mouth shut in case she said something untoward to her father.

"General Caraway." Quistis stated patiently. "That particular Garden is no concern of Galbadia's and was developed in a private agreement with Esthar. Re-establishment of Garden in your nation will not occur due to the nature in which the previous Garden was destroyed."

"Galbadia can not be held accountable for the actions of a Sorceress!" Caraway's face was scarlet.

At the mention of Edea, the Sorceress that had briefly controlled the Galbadian army and used it to attack the rest of the world, Rinoa's face drained of blood. It didn't matter that Edea was eventually found to be innocent; possessed by a Sorceress from the future, as Rinoa herself was following Edea's release. Once a Sorceress, always a Sorceress and Rinoa really didn't want this topic discussed while she was in the room.

"Regardless of your military's compliance with Sorceress Edea, Galbadia Garden was overtaken by your forces and used to attack those who could not defend themselves. Garden has made the decision that it will not put itself in such a position again."

"Then what are we to do when the next Sorceress appears? The duty of SeeD is to destroy the Sorceress and protect those in her path. Is Galbadia not to be afforded this protection which is freely given to the rest of the world?"

Laguna cut-in to the shouting. "As far as we know, a successor to Sorceress Ultimecia was not found before her death. Sorceress Edea is no longer in possession of any powers and Sorceress Adel is dead, also without having passed on her powers. It is highly unlikely that a new Sorceress has been established."

"Don't feed me that political crap, Mr President." Caraway spat, heedless of the increasing agitation of the soldiers in the room. Zell was losing his composure too, his loyalty to SeeD making his job to Caraway demanding. "A Sorceress must pass on her powers at her death and it has been proven death can be suspended until a successor found. The last people to see Ultimecia and Adel alive were Garden and Esthar. What assurances do we have that neither of you are hiding the Sorceress?"

Rinoa needed to get out of the room. Her breathing was shallow and her face now white. This argument was going to come to a head and if it wasn't diffused, her own father would reveal her identity as the new Sorceress. She had taken Ultimecia's powers during Time Compression, she had also received Adel's powers at her death and Edea had unknowingly given her power to Rinoa once released from possession. She had the legacy of three Sorceresses inside her and that made her more dangerous than any of her predecessors. It wouldn't be enough to simply seal her away in stasis if her identity discovered; she would be killed.

Quistis was trying desperately not to draw attention to Rinoa. "In the unlikely event another Sorceress appears, Garden will carry out its directive."

"Excuse me if I don't take any comfort in those words, Commander." Caraway slammed his fist on the table. "Garden is hiding the Sorceress!"

Rinoa jumped to her feet and then staggered, an explosion ringing in her ears. She had been about to yell at her father but she was now on the rough carpeted floor, blinking rapidly in the over-head lighting. People started screaming all at once and there were more explosions, rapid and all of them deafening. When a body fell next to her own, sightless and stiff, Rinoa realised there were no explosions. She'd been shot.

Awkwardly Rinoa pried the gun loose from the small of her back and held it in a grasp slick with blood. She was just in time to shoot a SeeD leering, weapon poised, over her prone body and he collapsed on top of her, still. Another appeared in her line of sight as she tried to squirm free and she emptied the clip in the woman's direction, still pulling the trigger helplessly as the SeeD fell dead

 Suddenly, all the out of place saluting made sense.

The world was moving as though submerged in water. Shouts and screams were muted by the dull thud in her ears and she moved sluggishly, crawling for cover beneath her table. Quistis was nowhere in sight and Rinoa slipped to the floor, leaving a bloody stain against the woodwork at her back, panting with exhaustion.

It hurt. The first fingers of white hot pain were scraping up her bones and her heart was thumping wildly in her chest. Shots were still ringing in her ears as she lay on the ground. People rushed all around, shouting and screaming, vaulting over furniture and people alike to escape the room. With everyone trapped, it was like shooting fish in barrel.

Rinoa knew she was shaking, could feel the twitch of her fingers as a hot pool of liquid swelled around the tips. She was going into shock.

"Rinoa, are you alright?" Quistis was suddenly on her knees beside her and Rinoa thought distractedly that she was getting her immaculate uniform covered in blood. Her voice was harried and distracted.

"My shoulder hurts."

"Get up." It was an order and Quistis hauled them both into a crouching position behind a set of chairs. Gunfire was still ringing out through the small room, silencing one scream after another. "Where is your weapon?"

Nausea was making Rinoa's stomach flip flop in her abdomen. Her pupils were wide and the lights were making her vision too bright. The injury to her shoulder was a through and through. The blood was clotting slowly and with the aid of a torn shirt sleeve Quistis was jamming against the gaping hole, the flow would stop completely. With these thoughts in hand, the panic seemed to recede slightly and Rinoa could pick out Quistis's urgent demand.

"My weapon?" She slurred. "I don't have it."

"You are to carry your weapon with you at all times, soldier!" Quistis viciously tightened the shirt sleeve around Rinoa's shoulder and ignored the pained hiss of her patient. Rinoa didn't notice the sleeve had been donated from Quistis's own uniform.

Quistis didn't need to quote SeeD regulations; not to Rinoa of all people. "I can't walk into peace talks with a blaster-edge strapped to my arm." Rinoa replied hotly, deliriously, swaying slightly when Quistis finished her field-aid. "You guys can hide your weapons." She jabbed a finger at the leather whip coiled over Quistis's arm. "A mounted throwing-star stands out."

"So you've nothing?"

"Hand-gun." Rinoa scowled, tossing the heavy piece to the ground. "Empty."

"Great." The Commander pushed her spectacles up her nose, smearing the glass with blood from her fingers. "Then you stay here."

Rinoa grabbed Quistis before she could rise. "Hang on just a damn minute; I'm the Sorceress."

"You can't cast magic here, Rinoa. Garden is already suspected of hiding the Sorceress and high level magic will reveal _you_."

"I think somebody already knows." Rinoa bit out sarcastically, groaning when her shoulder throbbed with movement. "I'll stick with the standard spells but there's no way in hell you're leaving me here on my own while you go and get yourself shot at."

There was no use in arguing and no time for it either as a bullet tore through one of the shielding chairs, turning the wood to shrapnel and sending both women sprawling. Quistis was the first to stand, the leather thong at her waist uncoiling majestically before it lashed out and ensnared a false SeeD around the arm. She pulled hard, tugging the man to the floor where he hit his head and remained motionless.

When Rinoa stood into view, wobbling on shaky legs, another hail of gunfire raced toward them. She was barely quick enough to deflect the lethal assault with a tornado spell.

From then on, the battle was a blur. She and Quistis split up and did what they had been trained to do. Occasionally Rinoa would see Zell picking soldiers off one by one, and Selphie using her nunchacku with deadly skill. They were all elite soldiers and it almost felt like old times.

The shooting dissolved into hand-to-hand combat. A stop spell held Rinoa's current opponent in place, a Galbadian soldier with his blade held high over his head like a cleaving axe. She pulled it from his grasp and tested the weight. The only sword she had over used was Squall's Lionheart gunblade and it was vastly different to the one she now held. She had never been very good with it either but she would have to coax what little skill she did have to surface and protect her.

She swung the blade almost clumsily and it moved through the soldier's body in a jagged line. The blade was sharp and there was no resistance, his lifeless body crumpling in a pool of viscera and blood. The stench of spilled innards was everywhere and it clung to the insides of her nose and mouth. There would be more blood before this battle was over.

Rinoa pivoted and thrust as well as she could, her movements becoming jerky due to injury and inexperience. More often she was attacking using the spells at her command; fire, lightning and ice all erupting from the air with deadly power. Once or twice she employed more powerful magics which despatched several attackers at once. But too many of those spells and her identity would be discovered. Quistis would kill her herself if that happened.

"Where's my father?" Rinoa slurred, pulling Zell back as he struggled to her side.

He dealt a solid right hook to the soldier facing him before following up with a side kick, sending the man sprawling. "He's safe." An uppercut removed another soldier from the battle. "We need to get out of here."

"No arguments here." She heaved and swept her blade in an upward arc, slicing up the abdomen of a female advancing soldier. She huffed a breath before billowing fire engulfed the advancing forces. "Is it me or are we the only ones putting up a fight?" Her voice was almost drowned by agonised screams.

"It's _us_ they want." Selphie cut-in, the metallic ringing of her nunchacku alerting them to her position. "And we thought these talks would be boring." She giggled, out of breath, launching into another attack as soldiers continued to advance.

Zell's knuckles were beginning to bleed. "I say we summon Ifrit and torch the place."

"Excellent thinking, Instructor Dincht." Quistis quipped, joining their little group, all back to back against the odds. "The Guardian Force of fire in a wooden building. I don't know about you but I would like to get out of here alive." Her whip lashed out and Rinoa noticed it was dripping blood, a spray of which curved up the walls like paint.

Rinoa took stock of the room. "Are there any officials left in here?" She was struggling for breath and her sword plummeted to the floor.

"I don't think so." Selphie puffed. The toll of battle was showing on all of them. It had been a long time since they were in confrontation like this.

"Then let's finish this." Rinoa whispered. She cast the necessary protection over her friends and drew together the last of her strength. "_Ultima_…"

**_Aurora_**

_tacks__ – Thanks very much! It doesn't matter how many reviews you get when you're receiving ones like yours. I want to know what people think, not the same comments over and over which are the norm on this site. This story is built on the characters so Rinoa, and all the others in time, really needed more depth. I'm glad it's coming across as it should. As for Ethan, he may be tolerable for now but give me a few more chapters… Thanks again for reviewing, I appreciate it._

_Chris – I hope this fills the action quota. The characters from the game are teenagers which is fun to write but I wanted to use them years after, when the toll of real life had set in. The worn and mature feel is exactly what I'm going for. Odine is a git but there's one in every story._

_Thanks to everyone who R&R'd! Hope to be hearing from you in future chapters._


	8. Shattered Knights, Time Compression

**_Shattered Knights – Time Compression_**

Squall heaved his gunblade, digging his soles into the cobbled road to reduce the resistance in his swing. The blade was old and nicked but it penetrated the thick hide of the anacondaur snake with ease, cleaving the hard scales to reveal shimming gore beneath. The blade wrenched free with a combined howl from the beast and Squall, the force throwing the latter back to the ground. It took a deep search for strength to bring him back to his feet, leaning heavily on his gunblade.

The fatal strike had been given but the anacondaur would not die easily and Squall had to attack again and again, hammering the blade home with sickening crunches. It took many similar strikes before the great beast flopped to floor like a deflating balloon, it's final breath bubbling through a bloodied mouth.

Squall collapsed beside the monster, not caring that his rags were becoming saturated with their mingled blood.

Every muscle burned with a ferocity Squall had never known. He released the grip on his gunblade, knowing he could barely lift himself, let alone his weapon. He was in no condition for this kind of fighting anymore. Once he may have been able to slay hundreds of these monsters without breaking a sweat but now, as old and frail as he was, he was lucky to have survived this encounter. The bruises and lacerations attested to that. It didn't help that his sword arm was still healing from a puncture wound he didn't remember being inflicted.

Painstakingly moving across the cobbles, Squall crawled the last few feet to a fountain he had been staggering toward before the attack. He plunged his whole head into the cool depths and drank in long heaving gulps. He drank until his lungs burnt for air, till there was just no more room in his tiny stomach for water. Even after his threshold, he wanted to drink more.

In the back of his mind he should have known he wouldn't have been able to handle so much water at once. But the inner burning of dehydration and the coarse saliva in his parched throat had begged for relief. He vomited almost immediately afterwards, the water gushing back out of his nose and mouth. It was worth it.

He was in Dollet. Brogue's master had thrown him into the final experiment, back into Time Compression. How it had been achieved Squall didn't know but it appeared as though he'd outlived his usefulness. It was presumed he would die in this place or Rinoa would come and rescue him, like she had done before, all those years ago. But she wouldn't come for him now; she wouldn't even know to look for him.

He was prepared to die in this place, rather than have Brogue get his hands on Rinoa. He'd been prepared to die for her all along. Living for her had proved to be the bigger challenge…

Time Compression was a bizarre experience; many timelines all squashed into one where it was possible to be present for the events of more than one century at a time. Nothing made sense and existence was only achieved through belief of it. To escape, someone else had to believe in you and alone as he was, had been for years, there wasn't much chance of that happening.

Standing took more effort now most of his energy had been expended through vomiting but Squall managed it eventually, holding his rags about his body so they didn't fall away. He walked barefoot through Dollet's deserted streets, the smooth cobbles like silk on tortured skin. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. His last venture into Time Compression had almost killed him.

Was he just to wander aimlessly until he died?

Would it be impossible to escape Time Compression on his own? Could he, after all these years, escape his torture and make a way back to his Sorceress? Would it be safe to go back to Balamb and search for her, without Brogue and his captors knowing of his arrival? From what Squall remembered, exiting Time Compression was random and there was no way to track it. If he escaped to the real world where no one knew him, no one knew of Brogue, could he remained undetected and make it to Rinoa?

Rinoa… If Brogue had discarded him, something had changed in the situation. Was she still safe or was this just a trap to get him to go back to her, so they could finally understand the bond that existed between Knight and Sorceress. Could he afford to wait and find out?

God, he wanted to see her again, even if only just for a second. She had to know he still loved her, that he always had…

Almost to the beach, Squall felt the ground beneath his feet rumble, reeling his mind back to the present. The tremors were regular, a rhythm that increased in speed, eventually echoed by the metallic ring of metal against stone. He didn't need to look round to confirm what his mind already knew. He was back to a time years ago, on his SeeD exam, just before his whole world had been overtaken by the chaos of the second Sorceress War.

Squall's run was more of a drunken stagger which would not increase in speed or stability no matter how he willed his legs. The cobbles were no longer soft but tore skin and nail from his feet, slowing him to an ineffectual lurch. He fell off the pier and down to the sands below, all the breath whooshing from his lungs painfully. But he couldn't stop, couldn't wait to regain his breath before he gripped at the sand with bony fingers, dragging his body through the surf like a worm.

Sand gathered in his ratty hair and beard, scraping against his paper-thin skin and tearing it open. The salt stung like hell but he kept going. When he spared a glance back, X-ATMO92 was positioned over the harbour precipice, each pointed leg speared into the concrete. Sunlight glinted along the gears and plates of the huge machine, menacing as it crawled spider-like down to the beach.

Each talon sunk deeply into the wet sand, advancing toward Squall who could only look on in horror as the machine bore down on him. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, fresh blood speckling his lips from an abrasion on his face. The metal monster loomed over him, opening and closing a pincer close to his face curiously.

It was a metal crab, designed by Galbadia to despatch infantry and it excelled at it's programmed task. It had taken the combined efforts of several gunships to destroy the machine during the SeeD exam and Squall had nothing which could compare to that. But if he made it into the water, X-ATMO92 might not be able to follow him…

Squall flinched as a pincer closed abruptly next to his face again, the sound very much like a pair of scissors. He swallowed convulsively and inched backwards through the sand. All the while he kept his eyes fixed on the red sensors positioned on the face of the machine, the orbs continuing to regard him inquisitively. The surf brushed against his questing fingers and suddenly hope surged from within him.

He looked back to the rolling waves, a desperation rising within him and it proved to be his biggest mistake. A pointed leg rushed down behind him and thudded through the ground, throwing sand and sea water up in a rush. He was trapped and when he looked back to X-ATMO92, he could swear those red orbs now looked murderous.

A pincer opened around his throat and Squall trembled, unable to move or open his eyes as the sharp metal edges closed on his skin. When the arm began to lift, hauling his withered body into the air, the blades bit into his skin. He struggled with what little strength remained but in the end Squall just hung limp in the machines grasp, utterly spent.

The grip tightened and Squall's skin split further, across perished tendons and frail bones. He only hoped his death would be quick. His last thoughts would be of Rinoa, of how much he loved her and hoped that one day, maybe in some other life, he would get to prove it to her…

X-ATMO92 tightened it's grip like lightening and threw Squall's body into the ocean.

He remembered hitting the waves and being swallowed by water, flailing helplessly in the vast blue. But no matter how he struggled, he just seemed to sink further down. The light got further and further away and the pressure was increasing on his skeletal body.

Then the bottom dropped out of the ocean and he thudded down onto a marble floor in a rush of water. He coughed for long minutes, gasping past the froth in his lungs. Sand was still clinging to his rags and beard, thickening his straggly hair as it waved in front of his face. When he opened his eyes, he was sitting on the dance floor at Garden.

He took in the vast and ornate room with hungry eyes, recalling each detail as though he had been here only moments ago, dancing at the inauguration ball after his exam. The gold marble pillars stretched up to the glass ceiling where he could look out into the night and see the stars. He could even hear a waltz playing softly, as if from far away.

"May I have this dance?"

Squall's heart lurched to a stop, only to painfully thud into action once more when a slender hand came into view. He followed the tapered limb past the wrist to the elbow, ravenously taking in the toned expanse of a bicep which led flawlessly into a smooth shoulder. And he couldn't stop there, his gaze devouring the slim turn of a hip, downwards along lean legs that were bare under a shimmering white gold cocktail dress.

"Well?" The gentle voice asked again, a smiling lilt in the tone.

His eyes fixed on her face, the image instantly blurring as tears dribbled down his cheeks.

Rinoa pulled him to his feet, placing her hands around his neck. She began to sway softly, keeping close to Squall's body that was screaming for her to never let go. His hands trembled when he rested them on her waist, barely breathing when her head rested on his shoulder in return.

The scent of apples reached his nose and he hiccoughed with both grief and happiness. "I never thought I'd see you again…"

Rinoa giggled into his shoulder, like he always remembered her doing when he would say something like that. She squeezed him tight. "I always knew you'd come back."

"Am I really back?" He asked, voice a small quiver in the air, dwarfed by the strings of the waltz. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he wasn't, that this was just some trick of Time Compression. But he had lived off tricks for years.

"You've a long way to go yet, my Knight." Rinoa said, moving from her position to look Squall in the eye. She reached up to brush the tears from his wrinkled cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. "A long, long way to go…"

She flopped completely into his arms when her words tailed off, instantly unconscious and Squall barely held her. He was suddenly stood on the great train bridge that spanned the east and west continents. The ball room was gone and so was Rinoa's dress. The only sounds were the cries of gulls overhead, fishing for debris on the waves. The sun was burning an orange and purple path into dusk, piercing his sensitive eyes.

Rinoa's blue ankle-length cardigan swayed in the breeze with her hair, she sleeping peacefully in Squall's arms like she had years ago. At this point in time she had been possessed by Ultimecia and unconscious, unknowingly taking on the mantle of Sorceress. He had walked the length of the trans-continent bridge, single-mindedly marching to Esthar where he would get Dr Odine to help recover her. He had been so foolhardy then, leaving without telling his friends.

But he had only just realised how in love he was…

Now, aged and frail, struggling under Rinoa's slight weight, that time and place was long gone. Rinoa would release Adel and fall slave to her. Only after Adel's defeat would Rinoa regain control of her own actions and the time in between had been the longest of Squall's life. When they destroyed Ultimecia, he would have to leave her side again.

Squall placed Rinoa on the floor with the utmost reverence, stumbling back to his haunches across from her. Time Compression was feeding off his addled brain and he was too weak to fight back; too desperate to have the illusion rather than the darkness.

He hung is head between his knees, breathing deep through his nose and then out of his mouth. The salty see breeze was heavenly after years in a dungeon. The rush of the waves against the bridge pillars, the latent heat from the sun and the occasional wet spray soothed his uncertainty.

Rinoa didn't stir during her slumber. Squall passed emaciated fingers through her long hair, grinning uncontrollably at the familiarity of the touch. He followed the line of her jaw and smoothness of her cheek, tucking some loose tendrils behind her ear. Even as only a dream, an illusion of time, Rinoa's mere presence brought such comfort. She never had to say a word or even look at him. She, simply there, was all he had ever needed. All he ever would need.

"Even if you end up as the world's enemy… I'll be your Knight." He looked at her sleeping face, his words whisper soft, as they had been years ago. "You're the one that gives me the most comfort… and happiness." He struggled with the last sentiment because it was true and he had to force the words passed his lips. The truth was always hard.

When a particularly strong breeze buffeted Squall's face with ocean spray and salt, he inhaled the heady wind deeply, feeling it push his greying hair over his shoulders. The smell of freedom was on their air, even though essentially, he had only exchanged one prison for another. Yet, the promise of freedom was strong, even if the reality was not.

The wind continued picking up speed and Squall huddled closer to Rinoa to keep them both warm. But the closer he tried to manoeuvre their bodies, the further she would get from him. Before he could think to grab hold of her, he was using the battered remains of his fingernails to gouge into the rail rubble, scrabbling against the wind. The chill of the sea on the merciless air stole his breath away. When he turned his head to catch a breath, nearly swallowing his own hair, the wind picked up his limp body like a rag doll and threw him over the edge of the bridge.

This time, when the freezing waters engulfed him, the world went black instantly.

--

Rinoa pulled a face at the red circle of healing skin on her shoulder. An angry red 'X' was healing on her back, marking where the bullet had exploded out of her body. The wound pulled at her tender muscles when she moved.

"'Noa, your face will get stuck that way." Selphie teased, winking at her before picking up the beach ball at her feet. She hit it back to Irvine who was shifting from side to side in the sand with anticipation. He'd stripped down to beach shorts but his cowboy hat was still firmly on his head.

"Har, har." Rinoa stuck her tongue out at the smaller woman. "Keep your eye on the game, Diplomat."

"He couldn't hit the ball to me even if I was twice the size." Selphie put her hands on her hips, a coquettish grin on her lips which quickly vanished as the ball hit her squarely on the side of the face. She screamed at Irvine who quickly turned tail and ran down the beach, a furious Selphie charging after him.

Rinoa watched the two lovers fall over one another in the sand, a poor Irvine completely dominated by a petite but enraged Selphie. Zell was watching over them, uproarious laughter filling the air. Their shouts and playful screams even had Quistis laughing.

The fiasco at the Global Union talks seemed a million miles away, even though the team had only returned to Balamb the morning after. A quick debriefing had been given by Headmaster Cid and they were all declared off-duty until the incident was resolved.

Garden had a lot of explaining to do in terms of hiding the Sorceress but thankfully, because the vast majority of Garden were unawares of Rinoa's special nature, Cid could plausibly deny any accusations. The Garden Masters too were pulling strings behind the scenes to lessen the political blow. In the end, the world would never know, Garden would never know, that they were actually hiding a Sorceress.

As for how rogue soldiers had successfully infiltrated SeeD ranks; that was up to someone else to discover. There was also the concern that Galbadia was on the war-path again, since from all observations, the soldiers had acted on General Caraway's command. Was it possible that Rinoa's father knew her identity and had tried to have her killed? It wasn't a thought she liked to entertain.

So, with no classes to teach and no Garden to run, the four returning from Deling and had met up with Irvine and taken their down time at the beach.

"Are you feeling any better?" Quistis asked, catching Rinoa's faraway gaze with a smile. "That was some power back there…"

Rinoa shuddered at just the memory. Her destructive magic was phenomenal, had grown in proportion with her emotions and every time she felt a swell of anger or bitterness, her powers expanded. Now she commanded magics previously thought to be beyond the reach of even a Sorceress; powers reserved for the Guardian Forces. But it was only her darker side that grew. Without the emotion to fuel her white magic, all she did was bring death and destruction. With curative magic, she was less effective than most SeeDs.

"I didn't want it to come to that." She admitted sadly. The deaths of all those people, guilty or not, would rest on her already weary shoulders for a long time.

"I know…" Quistis placed a reassuring hand on Rinoa's uninjured shoulder. "But you did the right thing."

"Did I?" She asked, desperation and confusion warring within her chocolate gaze. The green tainted flames of the Ultima spell were still vivid behind her eyes, the howling screams of people scorched alive and incinerated to bone dust within seconds echoing eternally in her ears. Oh yes, she wielded a power so destructive it could vaporise hundreds with a mere wave of her hand. Such was the curse of every Sorceress; to have the touch of death and feel compelled to use it.

Even now, sitting peacefully on the beach with her friends, Rinoa could feel her mind slipping into darkness. More than ever she needed someone to guide her, to show her the light in the torturous dark of her emotions. She called upon her power in Deling because their lives had depended on it. In a fight where those she loved were in danger, there was no power on earth she would not call upon to keep them safe. Casting an Ultima spell had been a dangerous move, reckless, a decision borne of fear.

But had she really needed to do it? Had there been some other way where all the lives she had so quickly snuffed out could have been saved? Had Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly finally surpassed the evils committed by her predecessors? They had killed for power… Somewhere, hidden in innermost caverns of her soul, Rinoa wondered if she had killed because she wanted to.

Quistis stood from their shared blanket, her orange sarong pooling down her long legs as she did so. She knelt in front of Rinoa after a brief pause, placing her hands on the Sorceress's knees in earnest. "You did the right thing." She persisted. "There was nothing else you could have done and I'm so glad…" Here she struggled for the words, knowing the guilt Rinoa was feeling well; the burden of every SeeD with a heart. "You saved our lives. Those soldiers wouldn't have thought twice."

A lot of people died during the skirmish; real SeeDs, politicians, soldiers of all origins and innocents. Even those who had escaped hadn't done so unscathed. Quistis was right; they were lucky to be alive and Rinoa would not have it any other way. But there was no escaping the guilt and the fact no one could relieve it. That duty fell to a Knight and more than ever, Rinoa missed having one.

She wondered where Squall was now… Had he seen the disaster that had been the peace talks and congratulated himself on having escaped her inevitable downfall? Was he laughing at her, knowing that she felt as vulnerable as she did in the wake of her own destruction? Or was he just as frightened of her as she was herself…?

"It's times like this I really miss him." Rinoa whispered, the words almost lost to the rush of water. The confession cost her more than she wanted to give.

Quistis could feel tears springing to the backs of her eyes and she fought them back with a hard swallow. She would not squash Rinoa's attempt at sharing her emotions, something she did so rarely now, by encumbering the conversation with her own. "I know you do."

"Do you think he remembers me?" She asked, choking a moment later on barely restrained tears. "Who am I kidding? He forgot about me years ago and here I am, still clinging to his memory like the little girl I was then."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Rinoa. No Sorceress has ever lived without a Knight. Those that tried, like Adel and Ultimecia, turned into monsters." She shook Rinoa's knees, as though to drill the words into her. "The connection you shared with him goes deeper than anything the world has ever known. You can't expect to shake that so easily. It wasn't just love that held you together; you were two halves of the same soul. One day you _will_ find a new Knight. Someone who will fulfil his duty completely."

Quistis wiped the tears from Rinoa's eyes with an affectionate smile. "Until then, you can't beat yourself up over needing that support. Just remind yourself that it isn't the man you miss, but the Knight he should have been."

A shrill scream from Selphie sounded down the shore and both women turned in time to see her disappear beneath the tumbling waves, unceremoniously swung from Irvine's arms. Zell was a few yards behind them, laughing uncontrollably as she surfaced with a splutter. Irvine tipped his hat with a bow, convulsing lightly as he tried to hold back the laughter.

Even from their position up the shore, Rinoa and Quistis could feel the fury rolling off their comrade. The famous Selphie temper was about to surface and by the speed Zell was pelting toward them, he knew it to. But whereas usually Irvine would be hot on his friend's heels, he instead moved forward into the surf. The waves brushed about his legs as he stopped barely a hair's breadth from Selphie.

Irvine removed his hat, tossing it to the shore before he reached down with two fingers and tilted Selphie's chin up towards him, accommodating the great height distance between them. When he kissed her, soundly and without hesitation, the tension dropped away from Selphie's body instantly. Her fists uncoiled easily and unconsciously wrapped around his waist, restless against his lean frame. The rigidness of her stance melted, bringing her bare skin into touch with his, the swell of her hips brushing against the tops of his thighs.

"Damn that man and his charm." Zell heaved, struggling for breath as he stopped at their picnic spot. "Anyone else would be dead now."

Rinoa sighed wistfully, thinking of the last time a kiss had cast a spell like that on her.

"Fight fire with fire." Quistis smirked, watching as Selphie finally recovered and tugged Irvine back into the frothy waves with her. There was an amused silence as the three continued to watch the childish yet amorous display taking place along the beach.

"What's that…?" Rinoa asked, her interest suddenly piqued.

"That would be love." Zell replied with a school-boy grin. "Cooties and all."

Rinoa was standing now, moving along the beach with uncertain steps. "No, not them." She pointed to a dark shape down the beach, motionless on the surf. "That."

Quistis and Zell followed Rinoa's hand and located the dark outline lying in the waves. At first it looked like a mass of seaweed but as a particularly large wave came in, the shape of a person suddenly became discernable.

"Damn!" Zell swore, the first to start running toward the unconscious figure. Quistis and Rinoa were not far behind him, attracting the attention of Selphie and Irvine as they went.

But before any of the group could offer help to the unknown figure, a party of locals from Balamb suddenly descended on the scene. Between them they hauled the body from the water and hurried back to Balamb town with it cradled between them.

The group were left standing.

**_Aurora_**

_Sophie – Thanks! Yeah, there was a fair amount of blood in that one. And, maybe, what's happened to Squall is now apparent… Thanks again for reviewing. Hope you continue to enjoy._

_-gypsyrin- Hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!_

_Lionheart1 – That's really cool. I never thought my writing could be classes as addictive. As for updating soon, I hope this is soon enough. -laughs-_

_Thanks again to everyone who reads and reviews. Updates are a little sketchy because of a new class schedule but stick with me, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Hope to hear from you all again!_


	9. Shattered Knights, Recovery

_Author's Note: I'm really sorry this has taken such a long time to put out to you guys. I'm so busy with University that things are just flying by and I forget that I haven't kept up. I'd just like to say thanks now for all those people who are sticking with it; it's a great boost to the motivation and your continued support will be invaluable. I'm afraid I can't make any promises as to when the next chapters will appear but rest assured that it won't be long before you start getting rewarded for your patience. **Aurora**…_

_**Shattered Knights – Recovery**_

In the delirium of a fever, Squall could hear Rinoa's voice floating through his dreams. She was talking to him about a battle, being lost within the confines of spells and weapons. She needed help. She needed someone to guide her. He protested that she would always have him for those things but she never responded. Instead she continued, a great swell of grief suddenly filling him completely when her fears turned to anger.

Continued entreaties died on his lips as the darkness came back to swallow him, pulling Rinoa away from even his dreams. The next thing he became conscious of was humming, slightly off-key but holding the security of a lullaby. He listened for it with all his energy, clinging to each note as it drifted through the cotton in his brain.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm…"

The voice belonged to a woman and it anchored his consciousness. He could feel a weight on his chest, thwarting any attempts at movement. It stifled his breathing and for a moment he panicked, awareness of being trapped in Time Compression flooding back. But much as he shifted, with all his pitiful strength, the force would not move.

With fear quickly overruling any higher thoughts, Squall struggled more, fists convulsively squeezing as his lower body fought relentlessly. It was when his right fist opened that he felt something within his grasp. It was warm and smooth, yet intricately shaped. His concentration fled to the object in his palm and he relaxed. With bony he fingers he traced the edges of the shape, focussing his will on discovering its identity. It was a long process, the nerves in his hand no longer sensitive and his conscious mind submerged in fever.

When he could finally ascertain a chain coiled loosely about his fingers, he knew instantly what he was holding in his hand. The edges of his old ring, the one of Griever he had given to Rinoa, were as familiar to him now as they always had been. Next to that was Julia's wedding ring, smooth and warm.

He had Rinoa's necklace…

With the realisation he was instantly conscious. He swallowed a lungful of air, as though surfacing from under a lake, eyes tearing open to blinding white light.

"Hey now." The voice soothed his thrashing, a deliciously cool compress settling on his forehead. "Looks like you're going to make it."

The accent was not one he could pinpoint but Squall felt a haunting familiarity in the tone.

"… Well, look at you." She continued, moving the cool flannel to the gaunt cheeks of his face. "Gave us quite a scare there for a while."

'_Where am I…?'_ His throat was parched and the words would not come.

"Any idea how you got so far out to sea, young man?" Cool water cascaded through the straggled hair on his face to run rapturously down his neck. "You're lucky you didn't drown."

Squall blinked rapidly in the light, the sun shining directly into his sensitive eyes. "You're pretty banged up." She continued, never stilling her movements with the cool cloth. "'Fisherman down on the wharves saw you floating out there and brought you back to me. I'm kind of the town mother." Her tone became so gentle. "These are some scars you have…"

'_What…?'_

"Do you remember your name?" She inquired, a blurry outline against a backdrop of eye-watering light.

'_Squall… My name is Squall.'_

There was a long time where she remained silent. "Well, it's not really important at the moment. First thing we need to do is get a good meal inside of you and fight off that fever."

Couldn't she hear him?

"I'll go and whip something up in the kitchen. You just stay here and I'll be back."

'_Hey, wait!'_

But she was gone, without an inkling that she may have heard his words.

When his eyes adjusted to the painful light he began seeing the outlines of a room. In his immediate view the floor receded away as a flight of stairs, the wood panels curling around the interior walls. In the corner a great shape seemed to hang suspended in the air, a bloody red against the grey backdrop of the walls. A few greenish blurs scattered the room and Squall presumed them to be small plants. It was when he looked down at his own body, expecting to find chains and shackles that he realised he wasn't restrained at all, simply lying in bed.

The relief was instantaneous. His realisations brought his senses into sharper focus and he could appreciate the soft mattress beneath his battered body and the cushioning of a pillow under his head. He had not slept in a bed for so long it was ecstasy. With a smile so wide it cracked his lips, he tightened his grip on the necklace.

His environment was fairly Spartan with only a few ornamental pieces on the walls, still undistinguishable by his eyes. But that was improving every moment and Squall lay content in his bed. It wasn't long before his carer reappeared with the promised meal.

It took a small eternity to get his starved body into a sitting position, most of the work accomplished by his new friend. They spent even longer feeding him small mouthfuls of hot soup, the combination of real food and liquid quite possibly the best meal Squall had ever eaten. He didn't manage much but even a few spoons were more than he was used to eating in several days.

"Think you can talk now?" She asked, waiting patiently as he painstakingly chewed each mouthful.

'_I want to…'_ His lips were moving, mouthing the words beneath straggled facial hair but no words came forth.

The woman's voice became pitying. "You've got quite a lot of bruising around your neck. Maybe you'll find your voice in a few days…"

--

Rinoa threw her sling angrily into the waste basket. She felt like an idiot with it on and hurt herself more trying to keep her arm still than she did just moving it. Quistis could lecture all she wanted, she wasn't wearing it any longer.

She left the offensive medical aid and marched into her room. Knelt at the side of her bed she was suddenly nervous, placing her palms on her knees as if it would stop them sweating quite so much. Her gaze was lost to the black cavern beneath the bed frame, lost even to the penetrating sunlight that spilled in through her window. She knew in the back corner were her old textbooks from basic training, before graduation, and a handful of dusty notebooks. There was also an old shoebox hidden in the shadows with various keepsakes contained within.

She pulled this out first, momentarily distracted from her initial purpose. The lid was grimy and she blew a plume of grey dust into the air before removing the lid. Perched on top of handwritten letters, worn photographs and assorted nick-knacks was a framed picture. She lifted it out with reverent care, looking into her own eyes, smiling back at her from the age of nineteen. In her arms was Angelo, her border collie-cross dog that had been her faithful companion right up until her duty to SeeD meant they had to part company.

Angelo was now living with the young students at Trabia Garden. Every SeeD had been stationed at the recuperating Garden to assist with the rebuild and Rinoa had taken Angelo with her during her deployment. It was their final chance to be together before orders from the Garden Masters would come into effect and Angelo would be forcibly removed from the grounds, if required. The young children at Trabia had taken such a liking to Angelo that Rinoa had decided to leave her there, where the rules on pets were less stringent.

Every now and then she would receive letters from the children, dotted with paw prints. They always made her smile. About to place the picture back into the box, Rinoa instead positioned it on her night stand. Maybe if a little shore-leave became available she could go to Trabia and see Angelo again.

Rinoa had to reach further under the bed for her initial conquest. The cool, dusty surface of a long metal box touched her fingers and she pulled on it hard, dragging it out into the light. The image of Griever was emblazoned on the lid, inlaid red against smooth black metal. She fumbled with the catches on the side, fingers trembling against the metal buckles as they flipped open.

Hidden away in the box, a sword donated to her keeping from Cid, was Squall's Lionheart gunblade. The blue metal blade shone as brightly as it always had, nestled safely in a fitted black velvet interior. The sword had been crafted in Esthar from the best materials known. The blade was unbreakable, the edge more lethal than cut diamond and the precision of the gun handle was unmatched, loaded with pulse ammo for the greatest damage.

Very few people ever qualified to wield a gunblade. There were only two registered SeeDs within Garden with the qualification, both of whom were no longer among the ranks. Rinoa pulled the sword from its case, marvelling at the lightness of it. The gun handle was moulded to a grip much larger than her own but it felt comfortable against the heel of her hand.

She stood, sword grasped firmly in both hands, tip pointed to the floor. At Deling she had been left defenceless without her weapon, relying on her magic which had killed hundreds. Her usual blaster edge was cumbersome and sometimes just too impractical. So it stood that she needed to learn to use something which was more convenient. And Rinoa could see no better way to improve her weapon skills and channel her unruly emotions than with the very blade that Squall had left behind.

There was knock at the door. "Hey, Rinoa, you home?"

Rinoa scrabbled with the blade, rushing it back into the metal case and fastening it at lightening speed. She shoved it back under the bed before darting out into the hall to answer the door. She hoped she didn't look as guilty as she felt when she pulled the door open.

"Heya, Irvine." She smiled. "Everything okay?"

The tall cowboy loomed over her in the doorway but he looked very small in the way he was shuffling his feet. "Could I-" He coughed. "Can we talk?"

The hackles went up on Rinoa's neck but she opened the door regardless. "Sure, come on in."

Irvine took a seat on the sofa, placing his hat down beside him. She was sweating heavily when she perched on the comfy chair opposite the sofa, mind ablaze with all the things that could make Irvine turn so serious. Was he mad that she'd put Selphie's life in danger with her last, unthinking spell? Was he about to make his thoughts known on Selphie's welfare? He was becoming increasingly protective over her and proportionately disinterested in any other woman; a dramatic change for Irvine.

Silence endured for quite a while. "I wanted to talk to you about Selphie…" Irvine whispered, eventually. "I just need to talk to someone who knows a little bit about this kinda stuff." He smiled wryly. "Someone not Zell."

He failed to notice Rinoa's great sigh of relief which brought forth a grin. "Sure. I mean, is there something up with you guys?" Here Rinoa's mouth curved into a little bit of a smirk. "You looked as though you were having a great time at the beach the other day."

A nervous laugh was Irvine's response as his cheeks went scarlet. "That's what I wanted to talk about."

Irvine dug into his pocket and held out his palm for Rinoa to inspect. She leant forward in her chair, a small gasp winding up her throat as she reached forward to take a ring from Irvine. A flawless band of platinum laid coolly in her grasp, the metal catching the light perfectly. When she turned it over, she saw the engraving of Selphie's initials within the hoop.

"It's beautiful…" Rinoa smiled, a little sadly. "Zell made it, didn't he?"

The question didn't need an answer. Zell had made a copy of Squall's ring years ago and she new the feel of his work well. The original had hung on her chain, with her mother's ring, until recently. The copy had been given to Squall and the last time she had seen it was atop his note, saying goodbye. What happened to it after that, Rinoa didn't know. In her hurt, she had only clung to the letter.

"Do you think she'll like it?" Irvine asked quietly.

Rinoa handed the ring back with a genuine smile. "I think you shouldn't waste another second here."

Irvine had smiled so wide that Rinoa's heart had suddenly ached at the sight. He stuffed his hat back on to his head before grinning, incredulously, one last time and hurrying out the door. For a long time she had just sat in her living room, legs curled underneath her as she let her mind wander. Irvine and Selphie were going to be engaged.

Even she had been hopeful enough to think she'd be the first to marry…

Her thoughts were disturbed by another knock at the door and she grumbled, no longer in any mood to entertain. She hefted her body out of the chair and trudged to the door, taking a deep breath before pulling the door open. She was going to need her faculties about her for another visit, especially if it was anything like the first.

But when she opened the door, her lungs just emptied of air.

"Hi…" Ethan smiled, his face mostly hidden by a vivid arrangement of flowers. There were brilliant red roses combined with white lilies, a few sprays of fern coming from underneath with a single stem of blue hyacinth at the back. At Rinoa's slack-jawed expression he took a step closer to her, leaning over her with his face barely a breath from hers.

He whispered when he continued. "The roses for a passionate love…" He placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "The white lilies for your innocence." His mouth skirted along her jaw and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Rinoa's eyelids flutter closed. "The ferns for sincerity and the hyacinth, _blue_ hyacinth, for the most important thing of all…"

Rinoa waited with bated breath. She couldn't have opened her eyes if her life had depended on it. When his mouth covered hers, infinitely tender, she barely held back the embarrassing sound that had been inching up her throat. The flowers were being squashed between their bodies and she found she didn't care, only folding her fingers into Ethan's SeeD jacket to keep him with her.

If asked she wouldn't have said she needed him but now that he was here, she realised perhaps her need went beyond the spoken. When they parted, she felt a stab of regret.

"The hyacinth means I will always be here for you." He finished, eyes gone dark as they held Rinoa fast.

She had to lick her lips before she could speak. "They're beautiful…"

He had still not moved back and the scent of his cologne suddenly breezed under her nose, pleasantly spicy. In that instant she became acutely aware of a comfort that Quistis nor the others could provide. Ethan leant his strength without question, physically and emotionally. He did not ask for explanations or question her judgements; he was just there. It was everything she needed.

His next words came out in a rush "I saw what happened at Deling. I was on a mission or I would have been here much sooner. I tried to call but they said-"

"Shh…" Rinoa smiled indulgently, placing a finger over Ethan's still protesting lips. "Everything's okay."

It was a lie, on some levels, but at the moment it hardly seemed to matter. She took the flowers from Ethan's hands and briefly wandered back into the apartment with them. The sound of running water reached the door and when Rinoa came back, Ethan could see the flowers in a vase on the centre table. He smiled.

"Come on." She said, taking him by the arm and swinging her apartment door closed behind her.

Ethan stumbled after her in a haze, the combination of this sudden impulsiveness and their shared kiss going right to his head. "Where are we going?"

Rinoa laughed, a care-free sound that made his head spin. "Dinner."

--

Dinner turned into a much more awkward affair than Rinoa had anticipated. The earlier rush that had allowed the kiss had almost entirely vanished. Looking back now she could hardly understand her own actions. Maybe it was because of the high emotion that had been running through her at the time; or the complete surprise of a handsome man on her doorstep with flowers. Talk about marriage hadn't helped her mood either.

Either way, conversation with Ethan had been muted by food and then an uneasy silence there after. They spoke well enough at any other time so Rinoa could only attribute it to their moment in the doorway of her shared apartment. A moment she was fast regretting.

They ended their meal at a local restaurant with a walk back to Balamb Garden. The sound of her heels clacking on the cobbled pavements echoed off the town houses, the only disturbance to the chill night air. As they rounded a corner, Rinoa caught sight of a hunched shadow skirting across the path. Her guard was instantly up and beside her, Ethan tensed too. But when the shadow passed under the amber glow of a street lamp, they both relaxed.

"Mrs. Dincht, is that you?" Rinoa asked, her soft voice similarly echoing down the streets.

The figure turned. "Rinoa?" She placed a hand to her heart, adjusting a wicker basket on her hip. "Hyne, you scared me. Ever since those soldiers came and tried to take over, slightest thing puts me on edge."

"I know what you mean."

"Out for the night?" Mrs Dincht asked, stemming the small silence that had come up in the wake of Rinoa's response.

"Yes." Rinoa could feel herself blushing. It wasn't that she was doing anything wrong but Mrs Dincht had known Squall and she still feared being judged. "We're just on our way back to Garden." She decided to change tack, as much for her own comfort as anything else. "What are you doing out so late?"

"Oh! I've just been to the doctors for a few more supplies." She pulled the cover back on the basket to illustrate and Rinoa could see a multitude of bandages, ointments and pill packages. "That poor boy that washed up the other day is needing some patching up."

"He was alive?" Rinoa asked, a sudden swelling in her chest making it difficult to breathe. A rushing sound was filling her ears.

"Just about. He'll need looking after for a while yet." She smiled brightly. "Would you like to come in for tea? You could look in on him and see if you recognise the face."

Rinoa didn't know why but she didn't want to go into Mrs Dincht's house. She instinctively took a step closer to Ethan who looked completely baffled by her sudden hesitance. Her gut instinct told her to get away but the words wouldn't come. Instead she just looked up to the windows of the house, imagining the body within.

"We really ought to be getting back." Ethan said gently, placing his hands on Rinoa's shoulders. "Rinoa has classes and I'm on duty. But thank you anyway."

"Of course." Mrs Dincht smiled, charmed by the smile on this stranger's face and his endless blue eyes. "It is late. Another time?"

Ethan smiled and interlaced Rinoa's fingers with his. "Definitely."

With that he gave the hand in his a gentle tug, continuing their walk out of Balamb. Mrs Dincht retreated to her home and again it was just the two of them in the night. As they emerged from the town the waves could be heard lapping against the shoreline and the chirping of crickets in the grass. There was only one road leading out of Balamb town and it went straight to Garden. Together Rinoa and Ethan walked side by side, the stars twinkling above them.

"What was it like?" He asked, eyes arrested by the night sky.

Rinoa couldn't look but didn't need to, to know what Ethan was referring to. "Black." She responded. "And cold." The lingering discomfort from seeing Mrs Dincht had not abated.

Ethan knew there was more to it than that. The mission the five famous SeeDs had taken, accompanied by a seasoned resistance fighter, was practically folk lore by now. He had listened to every detail of the adventure with rapt attention, asking endless questions of comrades and experts who had documented the downfall of Sorceress Ultimecia and the end of the second Sorceress War.

He knew about the battles against Galbadia; the assassination attempt gone wrong; the escape from prison and the journey through Time Compression into the future. He knew about the group's recovery of the Ragnarok spaceship and the fight against Adel. He knew that Rinoa wasn't telling him everything, though he couldn't have named what it was.

Ethan knew only what had been leaked by Esthar and the previous Commander of Balamb; he knew nothing of the truth; he didn't know Rinoa.

"Weren't you scared?"

She tried for nonchalance. "Not really. I was barely conscious." But inside the swell of fear returned. She remembered the sensation of slowly suffocating in her suit, the tanks of air on her back completely empty. The tears that had rolled down her cheeks had floated off to the visor of her helmet, pooling together so they reflected the stars. Most of all she remembered the rings that had been around her neck, floating in front of her eyes.

She reached for her neck but they were gone.

"Not sure I could look at the stars in quite the same way again." Ethan replied, looking down on her with a disarming smile. She found herself smiling back even though he had hit closer to home with his last statement than he realised.

Rinoa couldn't help it. She looked up and suddenly her mind was filled was such a sound she nearly doubled over. Ethan caught her stumbled steps but his contact only increased the noise; a kind of wail that echoed right along her bones. It was like the last time when she had been with her students, completely overwhelmed by the sound that came from nowhere but was everywhere at the same time.

"Are you okay?" Ethan pulled Rinoa closer so that her weight was supported by him. His words broke through the noise and suddenly there was only her harsh breathing and the ocean.

"Headache." She mumbled dazedly.

"You sure? You look like you've seen a ghost." There was nothing but concern in his voice and Rinoa remembered why she was feeling more and more comfortable around him. The kiss may have been a little more than either of them were ready for but in the moment, with the flowers, there had been nothing else for it. In future she would have to just try and keep hold of her impulses. At least until they were both ready for it.

"Really."

He clearly didn't believe her but he wasn't going to push the issue. Instead, he hooked her arm over his and continued to support her weight where she leant against him. "Okay then, Angel. Let's get you home…" He kissed the top of her head tenderly, oblivious to the slow smile creeping across Rinoa's face.

--

Selphie perched on Irvine's knee, abandoning her stool. "So, what do we know about him?"

Zell took a break from stuffing food in his mouth. "He's one of the guys in the trainee A class." He swallowed a thick lump of food. "Solid guy."

Quistis rolled her eyes when Zell started to choke, as he usually did at meal times. She slapped his back half-heartedly before carrying on her conversation with Selphie. "I checked him out. He's got a brief note of some disciplinary record but no more than any other SeeD does."

"Still, that was some major kissing going on back there!"

Selphie had been on her way to talk to Rinoa but when she'd turned the final corridor in the dorms, she'd almost fallen over at the sight of Rinoa engaged in some serious lip-lock with 'Tall, Dark and Handsome'. The next port of call after tearing her gaze away had been to giggle all the way to the canteen where everyone was getting their evening meal.

Quistis hadn't seen it but could well believe it. Selphie had a keen eye for anything romantic and she wasn't likely to overstate any amorous tendencies, especially from Rinoa. She also had the added knowledge that Ethan had left several messages for Rinoa after news of the Global Union talks had gotten out. This new turn of events may have been a little faster than Quistis had anticipated but at least it didn't seem to be a superficial attraction.

"But this is good, right?" Irvine asserted, an idle hand coming to rest on Selphie's waist. "It's good that she's getting out and maybe moving on."

"No, no. It's good." Quistis sighed. "I'm just still worried."

"Maybe Ethan can help." Selphie rolled her eyes when another slap echoed off Zell's back. "I mean, he might not be Mr Knight but at least he's better than nothing."

"I'm not arguing that this isn't good for her and that she needs a shoulder to lean on, the kind none of us can provide, but I can't…" Quistis trailed off, waving her hand in front of her face as if to clear the air. "Nevermind. It's none of our business, until Rinoa mentions it. She needs her freedom right now more than anything else."

"Right." Selphie jumped up. "Now that that's sorted, I gotta go pack. New orders this morning; I've got to be back in Deling by this time tomorrow."

Irvine looked a little more downcast at that news than he usually did.

"What the hell for? That place is ground zero." Zell thankfully was no longer talking around a mouthful of food. "Rinoa levelled the place."

Quistis rolled her eyes and pointedly looked at Selphie. "Garden Masters?"

"Yeah. From the tapes it looks like Daddy was the one all the soldiers were taking orders from. Talk about dysfunctional! I never thought her own dad would order her killed, just for suspecting she might be the Sorceress."

"But we're not sure it was him, right?" Zell asked, suddenly filled with anger at the thought he could have been helping the bastard that ordered Rinoa assassinated.

"No. And shooting Rinoa could have just been coincidence." Quistis assured, although she did know most of the suspicion was cast toward Galbadia. They clearly thought the Sorceress was alive and within Esthar or Garden. Whether they knew it was Rinoa didn't really matter. The point was that they had to find out who was pulling the strings before someone connected the dots.

Selphie placed a kiss on Irvine's cheek before walking backwards out of the canteen. "If anything interesting comes up, you'll be the first to know." She winked playfully and then was gone.

_**Aurora**_

_Elizabeth Deuxmind – Thanks very much! Glad to hear there's interest out there. Your compliments are very much appreciated._

_BeautifulxxDisaster_ – _I'm sorry you've had to wait this long for an update. Free-time has become the stuff of mythology. Thanks for the review and hope to hear from you again._

_Sophie – Well guessed! And the plot thickens… So close, but so very far away. I'm glad you liked the moments between Selphie & Irvine. It's important to keep the other characters in focus as well as the leads, otherwise it becomes repetitive and boring. And we don't want that. I could promise a Happy Ending… But that wouldn't be any fun, would it? *g* Thanks for reviewing!_

_Lionheart1 – I hope some of your questions have been answered, to be replaced with a whole horde of new ones! Thank you for your comments, it's great to know I can maintain the style you're enjoying. Hope to hear from you again later on._

_Cherise_ _Mercier – That's quite a review! Made my ego swell for a very long time. *g* Thanks for taking the time out to let me know. It's always good to hear that your stories appreciated. I'm sorry this update hasn't been quicker but we are steadily moving toward the main body of the story, when our two broken heroes finally come together again. Thanks again fro the review._

_Big thanks to everyone who's reading along with me and keeping the interest going!_


	10. Shattered Knights, Rapture

_**Shattered Knights – Rapture**_

The man that had been rescued from the Balamb shores was recuperating slowly. His body was severely malnourished and what little strength he did possess was quickly expended in the smallest of tasks. Often he would fall asleep between mouthfuls of food and sessions of getting his frail body to move. Progress was slow because of this but he was most definitely improving. The only thing that remained unchanged was his inability to speak.

The bruising and injuries around his throat were mostly healed and any lingering damage was superficial. But still he couldn't speak. She could see in his eyes that he was trying, had even chased away some stray tears when the frustration just became too much. Yet he wouldn't stop trying, even though they both knew the cause of his silence went far deeper than either of them could appreciate.

Despite the grey strands in his long hair and the wiry beard, there was youthfulness in his eyes. His skin was wrinkled and loose but that appeared to be more because of emaciation than age. At a guess, he looked to be barely out of his mid twenties. Which was what had prompted the phone call to Garden; it was possible one of their cadets had gone missing, albeit a long while ago.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, he almost looked familiar…

Mrs. Dincht had tried to hold off on the phone call but she was feeling more and more that there were just some things she couldn't help with.

The phone rang for an eternity before the receiver lifted with a crackle. The person on the other end of the line was breathless.

"Instructor Dincht."

"Zell! I didn't think you were going to answer."

There was an audible breath of relief over the phone. "Ma, you know you can't use this line unless it's important."

"Wanting to talk to my boy isn't important?" Mrs Dincht replied, placing her free hand on her hip.

Zell cowered at the tone. He knew better than to mess with his mother. "You know that's not what I meant…" He sighed and resigned himself to the conversation. "How's things?"

"Great. The new kids are a handful but nowhere near as wild as you were."

They shared a laugh together. Zell had been adopted by the Dinchts when he was a boy, living at Edea's orphanage. His adoptive mother regularly took in children and cared for them. When they were settled into family life, they would move on to waiting families or enrolment in Garden. She acted as a kind of half-way house for orphans. Zell was one of the few children she had kept, too fond of him to see him leave as soon as the others.

Zell would never consider her to be anything but his real mother. "And you? You okay?"

"Just fine, my boy." The smile and pride in her voice was unmistakable. "There was one thing I wanted to talk to you about. A favour, really…"

"Shoot."

"Do you remember the news about the stranger who washed up on the beach?"

"Yeah, I was on the beach when he was spotted. Didn't the fisherguys pick him up?" Zell had to admit his curiosity was piqued now. He readjusted the phone against his ear, leaning up against his desk.

"They brought him to me." She softened her tone. "He's pretty banged up and I don't think he knows where he is, or maybe even who is. He's about your age and I was hoping you could come and see him. He needs a friend."

"Ma, I'm really busy here. I've got classes and this whole mess with the GU has me grounded to Garden…"

Silence met his reply and Zell cringed. He hated his mother's poignant silence more than anything; there was so much she could say to him without actually saying anything at all. Much as he was sorry for the poor guy she was looking after, he just couldn't get away.

"Not even for the afternoon?" She persisted.

"I can't. I can try and send one of the cadets but things are crazy here, Ma. Loads of SeeDs were killed in Deling and the Garden Masters have got their sights pinned on those of us that got out alive. I'll be lucky if I _ever_ get out of here!"

"…Okay." She sighed heavily, feeling as though somehow she had betrayed her patient, even though the notion was ridiculous. "I'll let you get back to work."

The guilt hit Zell like a blow to the chest. He even groaned as it settled in the pit of his stomach. "I'll see what I can do, okay?"

"I know you will." She smiled, hanging up the phone after bestowing the motherly sentiments.

She knew he wouldn't come but she knew also that it wasn't really his fault. He was a different man these days. His fight against Ultimecia had thrown him into the limelight and quickly advanced his career. He was one of the elite, an instructor; a man responsible for more than just himself. And at the core he hated letting people down. So if he said he couldn't make it, he was being genuine and not simply passing the request aside.

Mrs Dincht turned to her patient who was resting fitfully in her son's bed. She would continue to help him as best she could. Maybe, when he was strong enough on his own, he could make the trip to Garden and find her son. Until then, she would let him rest and be free from the torment of weakness…

--

Squall stepped on Rinoa's foot. Again.

"It's just as well I love you, you know." She groused, laughing at Squall's horrified face. She wriggled her toes in her heels. "I think they're all still intact."

"I tried to tell you." He replied, features and tone as passive as ever.

Rinoa had to laugh again. There was so much he took seriously and she always loved to poke fun at him. He became flustered at the smallest instance and always fell back on his military decorum. A characteristic which had been the source of her initial dislike of him, had turned into one of the things she longed-for most. But what she loved more was knowing that in small moments that stringent training could fall away to reveal the man underneath; a man so amazing that she could never have stopped herself falling in love with him.

She rested her head on his shoulder as they carried on dancing. The deep red chiffon gown she wore swayed about her ankles with each fluid step, brushing against her bare calves in the turns. Squall had removed the white gloves of his formal uniform and she could feel the heat radiating off his skin. His hold on her was nervous, fearful he would slip up, but it was also grounding. Since becoming a Sorceress she had felt immensely vulnerable in crowds but the smallest contact from him banished the worries.

The soft strings of a waltz resonated through the high vaulted ceilings of the Garden ballroom. A summery breeze coiled around the many dancing couples, playing about dresses and shirt-tails. The huge chandelier reflecting light off the marble interior lent the room an ethereal quality. Laughter and animated chatter mingled with the music, bringing to the vast space a real sense of celebration.

But none of this could compare to the skylight which revealed the stars above their heads.

When Rinoa looked up she had to smile in realising Squall's attention was already there. His lips were upturned in a smile, one so slight it could be missed by anyone who didn't know what to look for. The heavens would always hold a special place for them. It had been like this they had first met, in space when their relationship had become real and under a starry blanket for their first kiss. All either one need do was look at the stars and instantly they would see the other.

"I was so scared…" Rinoa whispered into Squall's shoulder, clutching at the folds of his uniform instinctually. A small shiver ran through her frame and Squall held her firm, his protective instincts making it easier to put stray emotions where they belonged.

He had no idea what to say. He never did. But time with Rinoa had taught him that he didn't need to know the answer. He only had to try.

"… I thought…" He swallowed, fighting back something that was trying to crawl up his throat. "I thought it would be the first and last time… That I got to hold you…"

The memory of that time in space, where everything had been a collision of emotion, would be something that haunted them both for the rest of their lives. So much could have gone wrong and yet, they had survived. The stars would always be home but it could have so easily been their grave too.

Squall didn't confess to being afraid easily, if ever, and Rinoa was left speechless in the wake of the admission. She wanted to say something to take the tremor from his tone and smooth out the worried look from his face with her own tremulous fingers. So many things she wanted to do and not the coordination to execute any.

So she listened to the one impulse that was strongest and could never be perceived as wrong. She rose up on her toes, gripping at the lean frame under her fingertips and pressed a hesitant kiss to Squall's lips. She got no response initially but that she had expected and simply allowed her eyes to flutter closed, focussing all her being into the single moment.

It didn't take long for Squall's sense of propriety to wilt under Rinoa's warm mouth. A small groan of relief finally fled from his lips and he practically lifted her to him. The smooth movement of her lips chased away the dark memories and he clung to that sudden freedom like a dying man.

Rinoa could feel tears blossoming behind her eyes and in an effort to push them back her kiss became desperate and hard. Her fingernails gripped so tight they ached; with his mouth over her own and hot breath rushing over skin it was all she could do just to hold on. Fingers were in her hair and she didn't care that the desperation of his touch, as well as hers, was becoming painful. She just kissed him, as much as he was willing to surrender to her. That which he wasn't ready for she would take, hold on to it and let him know that he could not hide from her.

The bangs of Squall's chestnut hair concealed their faces from view but nothing could hide the way her body arched up into his, seeking contact to soothe a nameless ache. The other dancers gave them room, able to feel the magic as it trickled out from their embrace. There was something about them that always inspired others, both as individuals and as a pair; a vision of enduring love in a too-fleeting world.

Knight and Sorceress; together.

True to form, it was Squall who pulled away first. Not hastily but enough to make clear her was uncomfortable with the prospective audience. Rinoa's mouth felt cold in his absence, the cool air prickling moist lips. She wasn't upset with his retreat. Whatever he could give in situations like this would be more than she would ever expect.

A thumb and a forefinger came to jaw, holding her gaze to his which was darker than before their kiss. "I…"

He struggled with the words. His hand shook against her skin and she chased away his fears. "… I love you too."

Rinoa could see the pained expression on Squall's face. She knew he loved her, had never doubted it. At first it had hurt to say those words and not get a response but eventually she had conceded that there were just some emotions he couldn't give voice to. She still hoped that one day she would hear him say those words to her but until then she would continue to salvage his emotional short-fall.

The fact that he had never said he loved her out-loud didn't really matter, since he gave it to her every other way.

The moment got heavy fast in such silence. Even the music of the ballroom slinked into submission. Rinoa rescued them again.

"Wonder where the guest of honour went…?" Her voice was so nonchalant it was as if they hadn't just had a spontaneous heart-to-heart in the middle of a ballroom.

"Does it matter?" Squall returned, adjusting his weight and hold as Rinoa leaned curiously over his shoulder. He led them into a turn. He caught on fast.

"He's taking over Garden." Rinoa admonished, earlier moments forgotten.

"Whatever."

Rinoa shook her head. Her boyfriend's typical response to everything was about as noncommittal as they came. It got irritating and fast. She could understand his reluctance to mingle with the crowds but he was finally being relieved of that very duty and she thought it was worth at least a handshake.

"Ethan's not a bad guy." She persisted.

Squall rolled his eyes. "He could be Odin for all I care. I'm getting out of my job as the Commander and that's it. The guy can have all the paperwork and petty diatribes from the Garden Masters he can handle."

"You're impossible." Rinoa huffed, looking back toward the skies, as if searching for divine patience.

"No." He contradicted easily, barely batting an eyelid at his partner's exasperated tone. "I just have everything I want right here."

And there was another of Squall's trademarks; his ability to infuriate and reduce to cinders in the same conversation. Rinoa could feel her cheeks flush and her heart stumble as though she was still a teenager. She melted into his arms, reading the sentiment for everything it said and everything it didn't.

He was saying that she was all he needed and all he wanted. He was saying he loved her and wanted to be with her always. He said that it didn't matter what was going on around them, she would always be the centre of his world. He said so much and spoke so little.

Rinoa was grinning like a school girl. "Did you make the final payment today?"

Here, Squall genuinely smiled, pushing Rinoa's body away from his own for a twirl and then protectively ushering her close once more. "I did. We can move in next week."

Tears prickled the backs of her eyes. The combination of emotion and dizzying dance steps was making her giddy. "I can't believe it sometimes." She could be exposed with him and not fear ridicule. "You're actually getting out of Garden and we're moving into a house together."

A tear must've escaped because the hand at her waist cupped her cheek, brushing her skin with the pad of a thumb. They didn't let their steps falter from the music but their pose became so relaxed as to almost disappear. When viewed from the outside, she merely rested against his chest with her body tenderly held to his.

"Angelo will be there too." He whispered quietly, ill at ease with the emotions coiling around both of them but certain he didn't want them to go away. "And Selphie and Irvine have promised to come and visit the minute they're back from Trabia."

Their small cottage overlooked the ocean on the Winhill Bluffs. It was in a remote enough location to be independent but close enough to society to make life secure. Rinoa had been the one to pick the location and Squall had used his considerable savings from Garden to have a cottage built. It would be a home just for them, with no intrusions from work and anything related to it.

Squall suddenly swallowed and his steps faltered. Rinoa could feel the tension coming off him in waves, which only made her move closer to him. She wanted him to feel secure with her, like she did with him. When her head moved to the middle of his chest, the slight indentation of a ring pressed against her cheek; her mother's ring, buried beneath shirt and jacket. Her own ring seemed to resonate in response, a warmth blooming against her chest where Griever lay.

His head dipped down briefly, their skin touching. "I can't be without you." He whispered throatily, breathing deeply as his nose brushed her long hair. "I couldn't…"

"You never will." She promised, cutting him off, clutching tightly for a moment as she realised the enormity of the vow she was making. But she couldn't see them apart, either. She wouldn't, couldn't, survive without him. "I'll never leave you."

Their steps suddenly quickened as a new tune flooded the ballroom. Any reply Squall might have given was lost as she was swept up in someone else's arms, twirling to the rhythm of the music. Everyone had switched partners and over the shoulder of the man she was now dancing with, Rinoa could see Squall guiding a petite blonde through a series of turns.

She looked up at her new partner, her gaze barely leaving that of her lover's. "Ethan!" She exclaimed, a brief smile making it to her features before an unsettling feeling took root in her stomach.

"You look stunning." He whispered, his voice gravelly and deep. His eyes followed the outline of her dress, the deep red almost like blood but the fabric so light a breeze might blow it off.

"Th-Thank you."

Squall's eyes were terrified as they bore into her own across the dance floor. For a brief moment he looked older, frail and pained. More than anything she wanted to get to him but suddenly she was grounded, restrained, by a force she couldn't recognise. She struggled against it, her heart straining at a new force that tied her to the man she was currently moving with. The longer she looked at Squall the more he degraded in front of her eyes.

She pushed against Ethan again and suddenly screamed, clutching for the necklace around her neck as it seared hot against her breast. It burnt her hand on contact but she had to get it off. Her senses were flooded with fire and she fought against it all; the burning, the roaring in her head and the weakness in her limbs to grip Griever tightly and tear him from her neck. The silver ring clanged to the ballroom floor that was suddenly empty.

When Rinoa looked down at her chest and hand, she was horrified to see her skin branded in Griever's image.

She had only a moment to wonder at the symbolism before she locked eyes with Squall again.

Streaks of grey appeared in his hair, the thick waves thinning out to straggled locks. Blood oozed from his nose and mouth, his flawless skin drying to withered paper, tearing open over his lips. He was shrinking too, the bones of his once muscular body protruding from underneath a uniform that was far too big for him now. It was like watching life play out before her in fast motion.

Rinoa broke free of her dancing hold, a pain so deep rocketing through her chest that she fell to her knees. For a moment it felt as only part of her imagination but reality slammed into her when she looked down her body. Blood coursed down her front and for a moment she could not distinguish the liquid from the pools of her dress. She was weak and the more she tried to move, the closer she came to dying. But she kept on crawling, trying to get to him. It was the only thing she knew.

"Even if we are apart…" The voice whispered; Squall's voice, brittle and raspy in his new state of decay. An emaciated hand cupped her cheek as she looked up into those fathomless storm coloured eyes. His appearance had changed but she would always know him by his eyes. She could not even see the scar on his face anymore. "We will find a way back to one another… _I'll_ find a way back to _you_."

--

Rinoa woke with a start, sweat stinging her eyes and the tightly coiled bed sheets around her chest making it difficult to breathe. Her hand reflexively went to her chest, clutching at skin where her necklace had once been. It took her a moment to remember it was lying at the bottom of the Balamb Sea. She glanced at her skin and it was mercifully unscathed.

The images of the dream were fast receding but the haunting desperation in Squall's eyes lingered. She felt guilt rise in her chest, though she didn't know why. This dream was no different to the many others she'd had. Only this time, she had not died before she reached him. This time, he had come to her instead of being so far away.

He'd told her he would never leave…

She swung the blankets off her bed more violently than intended, standing in her small room. Early morning light was beginning to slip through her blinds and she cursed another sunrise she was about to see. She rubbed her eyes, stumbling over her strewn blankets out into the main living area.

The route to the kitchen was second nature to her now, having repeated this nightmarish ritual so many times. Admittedly, it had been a long time since an attack of the more vivid dreams but there was no shaking a routine as deep as this one.

She would get a glass of water to cool the burning in her chest and then she would get dressed. A workout in the Training Centre would chase away the last vestiges of her demons.

Anger bubbled inside her like the water spewing from the tap and into her glass. The roiling bubbles threatened to spill over the rim before she shut off the stream. But even though the water was no longer coming down, the bubbles still swelled and popped. She wondered if perhaps her decision to take her life in a new direction had been too little, too late.

The liquid plummeted down Rinoa's throat in three hasty swallows. It was too early for philosophical parallels.

A replacement training uniform had been waiting on her bed when she had returned from her date with Ethan and Rinoa put it to use. The clothes were new and stiff but she would soon have them abraded and dirty. Quistis would have a conniption but even that sounded entertaining in her state of mind.

Her grief couldn't find a way out. She still felt it; all the loss, bitterness and hurt just wouldn't go away. But they were no longer in the forms Rinoa recognised. Her emotions had warped into an indistinguishable mass of roiling anger, like the water, funnelling up her chest until she felt ready to breathe fire. It seemed every time she doused the flames, they would find another way to escape her. So now she fell back on an old ally; training.

These thoughts would soon be buried beneath sweat and grime, drowned out by deep, staggered breaths and overpowered by magic.

She would beat her emotions into submission with physical pain.

Rinoa marched out of her apartment, her destination fixed. She didn't take a weapon.

_**Aurora**_

_Tacks – I think it's great you're getting into Rinoa's character, especially since there's more depth here to her, than there is in the game. And it's the small moments that make a story; those little things that stick in your mind. Of course you wanted her to go into the house; I wanted her to go in! But then the story would be over quicker than it should and our lovers have a long way to go before a reconciliation is even a plausible course of action. Reuniting them will be easy; re-building a love like theirs, from the deep-rooted beliefs of betrayal, anger and abandonment is going to be a long and possible painful process. And who knows if it's possible at all? Maybe Rinoa would be better off with Ethan, who even though will never be Squall, would never hurt her like he did. What about Squall? Is it not his duty to see her happy, regardless of the method? Maybe it would be better for everyone involved he just went back to being the lone wolf… A reconciliation may just be too much to hope for, in their case. You will get your reunion, and it will be spectacular, but it may not be the Happy Ending you're anticipating!  
Cam I just say again how much I appreciate your reviews? You do wonders for my development! Not to mention my ego. *g*_

_Jayliyah_ – _Thank you for the compliments! I know everyone is upset with Rinoa but the time will come, promise. You just have to earn it first! If you're in love, which Ethan is, even if he's yet to voice, do you really think he's going to just let Rinoa go back to her old flame without a fight? And do you think Rinoa, who is horrendously stubborn sometimes and very proud, like Squall, is just going to drop to her knees and beg to be taken back? Of course not; she's going to be angry and hurt and she's not letting anyone off the hook for that. Lord, she's been plaguing her friends with her bleeding heart for years. It's so not over yet…_

_Sophie – She did! No Selphie & Irvine in this one I'm afraid, or for a few chapters yet. But I'll be sure to get in a top-up does at some point._

_Chris – Hmm, the scar… I think this is failing on my part which I shall be trying to rectify. The general state of our poor hero is so bad that he's just not recognisable anymore, right down to his scar. His hair is grey and matted about his face, with a beard in similar condition. His skin is paper-thin and so badly nourished that it's distorted over his skeleton. There is nothing about this man to recognise anymore. Unfortunately, the opportunity to rectify this description, and improve on what I've already written, didn't come up in this chapter. I've got part of the next one sorted and it should be dealt with there. Thank you for bringing it up. I'll know to watch out for things like that in the future. And I'm afraid we're only just getting started with the tension, so strap yourself in for the long haul…_

_chrisVIII_ – _Disappointment all round! This story is far from over. We've only just begun. You can't blame Rinoa too much; poor girl has a lot going on in that heart of hers and all she has left to listen to are her instincts. You may be surprised about the origins of those noises in her head. They're going to get worse before they get better and the cause is going to frighten not just her. As for Ethan, he very well may be more than he's letting on. Quistis always knows more than she's letting on; she might have picked up on something Ethan doesn't want known, even if she doesn't know what that thing is… Yet._

_Thanks again to everyone who's keeping up. I'm getting these chapters out as fast as I can with the generalness that is life. See you all again soon for more chaos!_


	11. Shattered Knights, Fateful Journey

_**Shattered Knights – Fateful Journey**_

Ethan Vayle was broad-shouldered, tall and usually hidden beneath waves of dark brown hair. The pale cerulean of his eyes sparkled in the shadows of his features. By anyone's estimation, he was a handsome young man. Half the female population had even told him so but the frivolities of the women he lived with were not for him. Instead, he found himself transfixed by the one beauty that had never let her eyes stray in his direction.

Until now…

The courtyards where free-style battle training took place were abuzz with activity. Various level SeeDs in combat tested their skills against one another, some armed, some not and others casting magic with amazing precision. Their instructors circled close for safety, shouting advice just as readily as abuse. These students were beyond the stages of being coddled. Their skills were improved with stringent practise and mistakes were often paid for in tears; in blood.

Ethan himself knew this as well as most other SeeDs at Garden, still being in the training regime on the way to A standard. He had a lesson with another student from his class in a few moments but the break allowed him a short respite. He hid himself in the shadows of an oak, letting his eyes move shamelessly over the figure that arrested his dreams.

A pounding noise was building up behind his temples, like the beat of great wings. It caused him to stagger slightly, unable to comprehend anything but the rush of air against feathers. The tree was there to steady his frame but the jolt to his sensibilities was something that took longer to recover, as though he were rocking on a wild sea.

When he looked over to Rinoa again, scrimmaging in the dirt, the noise seemed to abate to a gentle thrum. It was almost pleasant.

The bouts of overwhelming noise were becoming more frequent. He had told Rinoa that when looking at her, he could hear angel wings; he hadn't been trying to be romantic. The compulsion to tell her had been driven almost by fear, of what he wasn't sure. In the end it was a simple, honest truth. When they were close, she filled his senses and filled his head with wing-beats. At times they threatened to overtake him.

He'd have to talk to her again about it but not now. In this moment in time, the emotional unbalance was far away, even though never gone. Right now, the rewards for his continued presence far outweighed the confusion.

Rinoa deflected a fire spell with a mere wave of her hand, following up with a right-hook that landed squarely in the jaw of her opponent. From here it was impossible to tell her victim but he was a good half a foot taller than she and certainly thicker built. Yet she handled him with trained expertise. Her movements were economical and without flourish of style or technique. The only aspect that seemed to lack was tactics; she retreated when she should have pressed; pressed when she should retreated.

Combat tactics in the heat of battle were almost the stuff of legends, they simply didn't occur. But they were trained to be better than the average soldier and that meant they were to surpass standard protocols and be members of the elite. It meant becoming the legends and retaining the impossible.

It meant that Rinoa was about to get a flaying for letting her standards drop.

A voice rang out. "If you're going invade my class then don't embarrass me Heartilly. You're wasting everyone's time!"

Instructor Dincht; a nice enough guy if you met him outside of class but as soon as you stepped into his lesson, into _his_ pit, you were dealing with a whole new beast. Nothing pointed that out more sharply than the fact he was treating one of his best friends like something unpleasant on his shoe.

Rinoa grunted against pain when a fist the size of a bear paw swung out and clubbed her round the head. The ground seemed to rush up to meet her descent and her voice was sharp as it rang through the arenas, pain evident on her face. A film of sweat was gathering on her forehead that was visible even to Ethan, a good twenty metres away. It was upon noticing this that he also realised the entire training area had come to a stand-still, to watch this one fight.

He fought against the impulse to go to her, _needing_ to protect her. Watching her stumble back to her feet caused an almost physical ache.

Instructor Dincht picked up a quarter-staff from the rack and hefted it easily. "You're not a statue. Move your damn feet!"

He threw the staff at Rinoa's feet and she yelped loudly when it cracked against the one ankle. She limped and cursed but she got the message and skirted forward.

"And you!" His voice here became even more vicious. "You're twice her size and armed. I haven't wasted my time teaching you for three years, to get hung up on hitting a girl."

Rinoa's shoulders came up tall, her boots finding purchase in the dirt as she dropped down low into a fighting stance. A strange crackling was filling the air, like the beginnings of a thunder storm. Her response to adversity had always been a direct one but SeeD training had removed all her hesitancy. Now, any assault was met with gritted teeth.

Noel, the SeeD Ethan could now distinguish, looked ready to take down a Snow Lion with his bare hands. But Rinoa was an A ranking SeeD, an Instructor and well known for being the most adept magic user Garden had. These things alone made a SeeD worthy of comment but Rinoa was more than that, along with the famous others that destroyed the last Sorceress, she had almost passed into the realms of the Guardian Forces.

She had already won and made it known, the whites of her eyes disappearing as the crackling increased to such a point where the hair on the back of Ethan's neck stood on end. She spread her fingers wide, channelling all that palpable energy and released it in one final blow.

The ensuing flames were enormous and hot enough to burn Ethan's eyes.

Noel staggered back, shielded his face with his arms and fell to the ground, engulfed by such fire that most of the surrounding students had to back away too. It lasted only a second, an ice spell balancing out the voracious flames a mere second after. Noel wasn't even singed, only panting on the floor. His weapon, a twelve inch blade, lay discarded in front of him.

"Are you okay?" Rinoa asked, dropping down beside him to place a hand on his shoulder. Her worry, perhaps even a little fear at the sudden eruption of power, was clear for everyone to see.

Where most would have recoiled, terrified of such magic, Rinoa seemed to have the effect of only drawing people in. Noel smiled into her touch and nodded shakily. He held out his hand and they shook as only comrades can. The tension of battle quickly abated to leave nothing but gentle friendship.

When they broke apart and Ethan was drawn toward his own match, he had to quell the sudden surge of jealousy that rose from his gut. From the corner of his eye he could see Rinoa smiling, leaning on Instructor Dincht as they talked. To anyone who didn't know them, the moment looked a lot like flirting.

There was something in him that demanded he not let that happen. Rinoa had a hold him that he couldn't shake; he would stand by her side whether she realised that oath or not. His very being demanded it of him. And every time he realised this, the wings got a little louder.

--

Squall braced himself against the windowsill in his small room. The Balamb Sea stretched out before him, illuminated purple by dusk. The cool weight of Rinoa's necklace settled into the deep hollow of his collarbones, smooth against his skin. All day he had been restless, eventually rising from bed for the first time and barely making it to the sill.

The nightmares of his sleep still plagued his waking thoughts. The vision of Rinoa bleeding, crawling toward him sent a frisson of ice along his bones. The pain was more than Brogue had ever been able to inflict on him and for a moment he had wished himself dead, if only never to see that sight again.

He tried to cling to the memory of dancing with her; the easy hold and sure steps. The sound of her gentle laugh tickling his ears as they moved through another turn brought another smile to his face now. It had all been a dream, yes, but a dream of his own creation. Everything he remembered wasn't tainted by drugs and Brogue's dark experiments. _Rinoa_, was how he remembered her.

Even the silkiness of her hair felt real in his dreams; the way each strand had slipped between his parted fingers was heavenly.

'_I'll find you again…'_

He would. Nothing would keep her from him now. It didn't matter, not to him, about all the things that had kept them apart for so long. All that mattered now was getting back to her and holding his promise to keep her safe.

He took a deep breath, reaching up a frail hand to scrape across the damaged skin under his beard. He needed to leave and go back to Garden. The longer he left it, the more he feared for Rinoa's safety.

Squall had barely reigned his thoughts enough to hear Mrs Dincht's footsteps up the stairs.

"Oh my!" She beamed, placing a tray down. "Look at you, up and about."

He turned slowly, gripping the sill with aching fingers and managed a small, genuine smile for the woman that had taken such care of him. When their eyes met, Squall remembered a distant sensation of being looked upon like that, from his childhood. He had never had parents but there was always someone to look at him with pride; like now.

Mrs Dincht stepped closer, noticing the fragility of his body and moving to help. But she stopped mid-stride, eyes going wide for a brief second. When she recovered her steps they were jerky and her supporting hold was tense. They barely made it a step before Squall stopped them.

He couldn't talk but his eyes begged for her revelation.

"I only really met you once…" She started, still not looking at him. "And you have so many scars now that I barely noticed-."

Really, it hadn't been the scar that revealed him. Even as she pushed away the matted hair that hung over his face and tightened wrinkled skin with her fingers, the characteristic mark was no more than a shadow. What had given him away, what would _always_ reveal him, were his eyes. Now clear from fever, they were striking.

She remembered her son in this very room, staring hard into a photograph of his friends. Tears had been stored in his eyes, desperate to fall. He just stared, his silent resolve more telling than a thousand tears ever would be.

The next day when she found the shattered frame and tarnished photograph in the bin, she had taken it out. She too had stared long and hard at the face which had destroyed so many. 'He' was a tall man, strong and proud. She recognised the face from a previous visit but now given the moment for open appraisal she saw the intensity of the eyes; the eyes of a man who had seen and done too much, too quickly.

In the photograph Squall had his arm draped protectively around a young woman's waist. She held to him too, subtle enough to go unnoticed by most but so powerful the gesture screamed reliance. Zell had been on Squall's left, beaming into the camera with his arm thrown over his friend's shoulder. The others in the frame held similar positions; they were family now.

And then Squall had vanished. He left them all behind.

'_I'm sorry…' _Mrs Dincht could see it written in Squall's eyes now.

There was a shinning to her eyes that hadn't been there before. "They looked for you, for so long…" The pain so evident made them both stagger. "You have to go back, Squall… But you need to understand that they've all moved on with their lives. They never got over your leaving but they've put it away, where it can no longer hurt them."

Squall steadily slipped to the floor, Mrs Dincht following him down until he was leant back against the bed and breathing hard. She continued. "They won't understand so easily as I do… And I mean that; you're _forgiven_, Squall. Whatever's happened to you; you've suffered enough. What you have to do now is go back and make amends."

Silent tears dribbled down paper-thin skin.

"We should clean you up some, try and bring out that scar…" She didn't want to leave it to chance that someone might have taken as long as she had to see the young man beneath the visage of a stranger.

Mrs Dincht rose but Squall stopped her with a determined shake of his head. He wanted to keep the way he looked now. It would offer him sanctuary; to hide in his own skin. If it had taken this long for someone who knew him to notice his real identity, then maybe it would be a useful disguise for returning to Garden.

'_Thank you…'_

"You need to go back…" She took a deep, fortifying breath, knowing the next piece of information may come as a shock. "You've been gone for three years…"

Squall looked suddenly horrified. He vomited before he could control it.

--

Determined rays of sunlight pushed past splintered wood panels to filter into the ashen remains of the Deling conference hall. The interior walls were charred black and the floor underfoot was littered with the detritus of battle.

Discarded weapons lay alongside wrecked furniture and as Selphie picked her way through the destruction, she could see the charred remains of those unfortunate that hadn't made it out.

Her journey back to Deling had been long and filled with trepidation over what she might find. Her superiors had sent her back, despite the grounding order placed on the other delegate members, in the hope that she would find something that would indicate the cause of the fire-fight.

Selphie didn't think it likely but she wouldn't be the one to voice it out-loud; getting out of Garden meant she was doing _something_ at least; something to protect Rinoa and the others.

The guard that had been assigned to follow her grumbled disdainfully, jarring Selphie from her thoughts. "'Made a right mess of this place."

No one who had been witness to the explosions inside the conference hall would ever have the gall to belittle it so. So many people had died, all of them unnecessarily. A place that was supposed to be the birth place of hope had ended in the graves of innocents.

Selphie bit down a hot reply and instead ignored the comment in favour of continuing her assessment. Tensions between Galbadia and Garden weren't important right now. What was important was finding out who'd tried to kill Rinoa.

Initial suspicion was cast in Galbadia's direction, though if this was just old habits or actual sensible conjecture, remained to be seen. That wasn't Selphie's concern either; Garden could implicate whomever they liked.

Selphie closed her eyes for a brief moment, taking herself back to barely a week previously…

Quistis stood addressing the room at large as the objections from General Caraway began to escalate. The minute the man had spoken, Selphie had slipped out of the shadows with fingers playing over the set of nunchaku concealed beneath her uniform. The familiar feel of the carbon-crafted weapon was soothing to her nerves. But in the moment of complacency where Selphie felt that so long as she was armed, with her friends close by, she was invincible, everything she knew as reality became a horrifying nightmare.

In the blink of an eye Rinoa was out of her seat and the world had narrowed to a pin-point of red blooming on her shirt. The shrinking echo of gunfire pulsed in her ears and Selphie had been unable to move for torturous moments. She watched as her friend staggered a few paces, confusion clearly etched on her pale features, then collapsed to the floor.

The whole room then erupted into battle. Everyone moved at once and Selphie only briefly looked at the hotspots of the preceding arguments before plunging into the carnage.

She could remember nothing from her fleeting memories. Rinoa's would-be killer was lost…

--

"That hurt, you know." Rinoa pouted, hobbling pitifully.

Zell shook his head. "Shoulda' gone to someone else for practise, then."

He grinned when she cast a withering glare in his direction. It lasted only a second before she was hefted into Zell's arms with a scream, one that quickly dissolved into giggles. She clutched tightly as he spun them around, depositing her on the nearest bench with a flourish.

Rinoa was grinning down at Zell on his knees, feeling as though recent events were thousands of miles from her present situation. The surge of levity could not have come at a better time.

She groaned when a cool ice pack was pressed to her ankle.

"That was good." She commented off-hand, after a minute or two of careful ministrations to her ankle.

Zell nodded his head in agreement before readjusting the position of the icepack. A small welt was surfacing on Rinoa's slender ankle and suddenly he wished he'd thrown something at her that wasn't quite so hard. "You still need to keep your footwork up." He affirmed, trying to squash the guilt only he could feel. "You've spent too long as a caster."

There was no arguing that point; it had been a long time, perhaps years, since she had last been on the front lines for armed combat. As a magic user she assumed the rear positions, behind those trained as brawlers. It was where she was most effective, for sure, but it did build up a level of complacency that was terrifying. The skirmish at Deling had pointed that out very clearly.

Rinoa flexed her ankle, happy with the treatment. "All done?" She asked.

"I think." Zell pulled Rinoa's trouser leg down over her foot before replacing her boot. "You have a class later?"

"Yeah."

She had been about to go on but a cadet suddenly appeared, an envelope under his arm that he presented to her. "This arrived for you this morning, Instructor."

Taking the envelope with mild confusion, Rinoa shared a look with Zell before breaking the seal and withdrawing the contents.

The paper was headed with the Galbadian herald and Rinoa didn't have to read any further to know who had sent it. She read in silence, Zell patiently sitting beside her. But when she finished the ordeal by following the curves of her father's signature, Rinoa found she couldn't speak.

When she thought she could open her mouth and produce coherent thoughts, her voice was clipped and her request more of a demand.

"Take my class."

Zell blinked in confusion before he recovered his senses to respond. As soon as he agreed, Rinoa was leaving without a word, the letter tight in her trembling fingers.

_**Aurora**_

_Sophie – The reunion is imminent. I hope it's all you're expecting it to be. Rinoa's character, as well as all the others will get their times to really show their depth, and not just on the levels they are now. It's just going to take a little time to refocus them. She was a little bit of a child in this one. *g* See you again soon!_

_Spede_ – _Hey there! It's great that you've enjoyed everything so far and you're finding the concept interesting. Thanks for the individual reviews of each chapter and I hope that in your reading, you had some of your questions answered as you went along. These chapters have really just been setting the scene for the larger story arc, which will begin almost instantly. Stick with it!_

_Lionheart1 – I wish I could write the chapters as fast you want to read them! *g* It can be terribly frustrating to have all the ideas in your head but be unable to get to a computer in order to put them down. I'm sorry it takes me such a long time. The suspense is killing me too, don't you worry!_

_santa-santita_ – _Great to see another new reader along for the ride! Rinoa's been getting a lot of page space which is important to really give her the depth of a character that the games didn't allude to; it wouldn't be possible to get caught up in her story if first we didn't see she was capable of being *real* in every sense of the word. From here on in, everyone else will be getting the same treatment and we'll hopefully have a whole cast of characters that you can relate to. Thank you for your compliments. And giving Squall a pen would just make things too easy. *g*_

_KenshinGoku_ – _That's amazing! I never imagined I'd be able to inspire someone to pick up the game again. That says a whole hell of a lot and I want to thank you. The story will be finished, you don't need to worry on that score. It may take quite a while but we will complete the journey, through all its twists and turns. Hope to see you on a regular basis, keeping up with the trials and tribulations of guys._

_tacks_ – _Every time you write me a review, I feel as though you've said the most complimentary thing that would be possible. Then when you comment again, I realise you've exceeded yourself again. As you do every time. The fact you feel as though I'm merely recounting history, rather than making this up as I go, speaks volumes of how my stories come across. I hope to keep that going throughout. A love without trial is an incomplete love but a love without pain, a real love, I think is entirely possible. We'll see what destiny has in store for these people and how the lives of others are drawn into their apparently closed struggle; Ethan, Laguna, Caraway and a whole world who's never really heard of our heroes. I'm excited to be writing this with you guys along for the ride. I feel I've got something worth reading and your continued comments are the reason I continue.  
Yes, most of my questions are rhetorical but a little theorising never hurt anyone. *g* I just wanted to point out that even though I know the larger story arc at hand, there's plenty of scope for little subplots. And these do change on a regular basis. What started out as a little plot on my bedroom wall has morphed into a plan that now has it's own folder; the love story was the main theme for me when I began but during the planning it's grown into a story that (hopefully) matches the game in its intricacies.  
What you say about Rinoa's dream is exactly how it was meant to come across, which is excellent. And our girl did get a little break, for about five minutes. My advice? Make sure you have a stiff drink to hand when the next couple of chapters go up. *g*_

_Well, thanks again for everyone who checks in to this adventure. All your comments are really encouraging and I love seeing all the different angles people come in at. Writing is one of my most enjoyable hobbies and through this stories I try to improve with each chapter. Your continued interests help me achieve that and it's no small thing you do. Thanks to everyone._

_Lastly…_ _MERRY CHRISTMAS._


	12. Shattered Knights, You And I

_**Shattered Knights – You And I, One Last Time**_

Squall struggled with the straps to the boots on his feet, still lacking the coordination and muscle density to complete such simple but intricate tasks. Mrs Dincht was there to help dress him in her son's old clothes and he was ever grateful for the generosity of this woman.

After the initial shock had worn away, the knowledge of just how long he'd been subject to Brogue's sadistic whims wasn't difficult to digest.

Three years was as plausible as three months where he'd been imprisoned. With no sunlight, no ritual events that could quantify time or even a glimpse at a watch, there was nothing to mark the days slipping through broken fingers. And Squall knew before he'd had his own personal experience just what torture could do to a man's sense of awareness.

But three years was too long and suddenly, waiting three seconds was unbearable. After regaining his composure, Squall had pulled worn-out jeans from the dresser and a faded t-shirt, attempting to remove the old sleeping vest he'd been adorned in for days. The process was painfully slow and might have taken all day if Mrs Dincht hadn't calmed his agitated mind by expediting the process of getting ready.

"Are you sure I can't hire a car to take you?" She asked again, fussing with the creases in the torn shirt. It looked like one of the shirts Zell had used to work-out in.

The action was surprisingly genuine for a man that _before_ imprisonment had never cracked an honest smile, but Squall did. He didn't need anyone to take him to Garden; he'd walk and make it back on his own. It was important to take these last steps on his own. He'd always be grateful for the assistance but there were some personality traits too far ingrained to be removed even by limitless suffering.

Squall grasped Mrs Dincht's arm in his frail fingers, squeezing in comfort. _Thank you…_

Then without another glance he headed to the stairs and picked his way to the ground floor, leaving the residence and out into the world for the first time in so very long.

It felt as though he was only just beginning his journey, rather seeing its conclusion.

The cobbles of Balamb town were difficult to negotiate on brittle legs. Squall's steps were hindered even further by excessively baggy clothes and boots that barely clung to his calves. But no matter the difficulty and that he was already panting for breath, he found the challenge to bring new life to his soul.

The sun was shining, high in the sky, reflecting off the numerous windows and spires of the quaint little town. A deep, salty sea breeze wafted in from the docks and toyed with the excess hair Squall now had on his face. The combination almost made him giddy and lightheaded he breathed so deep.

It would take the better part of a couple of hours to walk to Garden at his current rate. By the time he would come upon the gates of his old home, it would be dusk. The time would be a blessing and a curse; a curse for a man that had been held back for too many years already and a blessing to allow time to think about what exactly he would do when he got there.

His voice still failed him and Squall knew that he would never be able to explain his past merely recounting it on paper. The guilt he felt and the need to protect those that had become so dear could never be translated into written words. Even if he had to wait forever for his voice to return, Squall knew that he would just have to wait.

Being unable to speak however didn't automatically absolve him of an explanation.

Rinoa would want an explanation… She deserved more than just his reasons. If the separation had been half as painful for Rinoa as it had been for Squall, there would be an ache within forever.

Thoughts of Rinoa made everything else flee. The booted soles of his feet scuffed along the concrete in time to the dull thud of a weak heart, while his mind wandered to far off places.

Knowing that he had inflicted Rinoa's grief, for the right reasons or not, would always be the most painful thing he had ever known. Enduring hours of continued physical abuse; beatings, starvation and mutilation, would never compare to the stab of agony that occurred every time Squall thought about the decisions he'd made.

Rinoa would never agree with his choice. Squall had come to terms with that now; no matter how he chose to phrase the explanation, she would not see it the same way as he had. She wouldn't understand that he wouldn't allow any harm to come to her while he still lived and breathed. While there was strength left in him, he would see to it that she never felt the heel of those that had tried to get to her through him.

But what made it worse, the one thing Rinoa would never understand, is that he would do it again…

--

In Garden's training centre, Rinoa swung out with the lionheart once more, the great blade carving an arc at chest height that cleared a full circle. It looked impressive to the untrained eye but the lack of technique made Rinoa's arms burn and her wrists feel as though they might snap if she were to lift the sword once more.

But pain was Rinoa's continued ally. Whenever she thought she could take no more, Rinoa would push harder and harder; until her body simply could not move anymore, no matter what her stubborn temperament willed it to. The solace found in the single experience of pain was a true comfort.

Reliance on pain wasn't to say that Rinoa didn't have friends that helped her through hard times, or that she was falling into some kind of self-destruction. Quistis was her shoulder to cry on, Zell was her brother for all intents and purposes, Selphie was a dear friend and Irvine would always crack an inappropriate joke. In all of them, there was a different kind of safety.

Yet safety wasn't always the desired respite, so Rinoa would take up her weapons when tissues and shoulders could achieve only so much.

Squall had told her once that sword play was almost like dancing. When engaging in a fight, you had to be aware not only of your own footwork but the other combatant's. In any confrontation there was a leader and a follower, though the roles often changed every moment. But most important of all, the weapons you use are an extension of your own body and need to be treated as such; a fist thrown out without support will not cause damage; a sword that isn't properly guided will not defend you.

A brief smile erupted when Rinoa remembered the rather pretentious explanation Squall had given about the basics of sword fighting. She'd smiled and nodded in all the right places but secretly had paid little attention to what her taller half was trying to explain. The vast majority of her attention had been devoted to the way Squall's perfectly crafted body moved in harmony with his weapon.

She tried to emulate the same moves she'd seen then, pushing back the sudden and unwanted trip down memory lane. The purpose of using the blade as a new weapon wasn't to dig up old demons but to bury them.

Fingers coiled loosely round the moulded gun-handle, Rinoa rested the lionheart tip to the soft ground. Raven tendrils of hair had fallen out of her ponytail and they helped to conceal the presence of fresh tears washing down her cheeks. So many thoughts and feelings that she couldn't battle all at once were becoming impossible even to discern.

And now, as well as trying to find safety in habitual battle, there was the added pressures of recent events.

Rinoa dropped her gunblade after another vicious swing tore the weapon from her grasp. Hard sobs had her to the ground moments later where she just gave in to the injustice of it all.

Her father's letter, addressed to her personally, lay crumpled a few feet away, the printed words scathing. The punishing comments of her father, who called her incompetent and a traitor, made her ears ring.

It shouldn't hurt to hear these things from the man who had only ever fulfilled the position of father by possessing shared DNA, but the angry tirade of a letter was another lash to the back.

The only cure had been work; hard, gritty work that made knuckles bleed and muscles tear. She'd left the quad and Zell without a single explanation, marched to her room and lusted for the blade hidden within the shadows. The cruel lack of technique on her part, combined with hot fury, made for sword drills that were abusive.

Now, hours later, Rinoa wanted only to sleep and stop. Dirt and sweat coated her skin to create a thick paste which cracked where it dried. The blood on her hands, both literal and figurative, made her feel heavier than normal and it was with grim fascination she watched the thin rivulets drip down to her nails.

The lionheart gleamed dull at her side. The weapon was immaculate in cutting edge but the honest blade was now tarnished by grime.

Squall would hate her for it.

And that thought only made it worse; only made the tears come faster and harder. One more nail in the coffin…

--

Squall looked up at the imposing structure of Garden. A small eternity had passed since he'd last seen the solar-panelled façade, glorious blue in the Balamb sunshine; even in dusk. A part of him still marvelled that he was seeing it now.

He didn't take the time to think further at any misfortunes that had resulted in the time spent away. Instead, on shaky feet, he began the trek inside Garden.

He had no idea where Rinoa might be. Up until this point he hadn't really thought about how he would locate her; it wasn't as if he could just ask someone. Squall knew he would have to find Rinoa on his own and quickly, before he drew attention to himself.

The paved courtyard that formed the entrance to Garden gave way to steps leading up to the front landscapes. A few people were milling around and he had to fight the urge to dip his head, as if someone might recognise him. But it soon became obvious that no one was paying any attention to his passage. Like when he'd first left, it was a blessing and a curse.

How easy would it be to be found? Could he simply wait until his presence aroused suspicion? It was unlikely that anyone would recognise him instantly but eventually, someone would discover the truth… All the pressure of confronting his friends, of confronting Rinoa, would be taken away.

But that was the coward's way out and Squall hadn't chosen his path because he was a coward.

The main foyer of Garden seemed to appear out of nowhere. The stairs leading to the elevator were mere feet away and either side began the circular walkway encompassing Garden. SeeDs in uniform moved by, none concerned with the stranger in their midst. If he'd been Commander here still, he'd have been appalled by the lack of security; the thought made him smile for some reason.

Squall decided on walking right, following the running waterways towards the training facilities. Instinct led him initially but it soon became apparent that the connection he'd shared with Rinoa years ago, where he could find her wherever she might have been, was no longer there. Instincts gave way to common sense and he took each offshoot of the walkways in turn.

His first exit was the Training Centre.

The Rinoa he remembered would definitely not be here but if he was going to search for her properly, Squall knew he couldn't bypass it simply on what he thought he knew. Long years had passed and what he knew then was different to how things were now.

He only hoped that Rinoa hadn't changed so much that she'd forgotten him…

Squall suddenly stopped cold and leant against the waterway bank as his lungs collapsed. His vision swam and pricked with black spots. A clammy sensation covered his skin, like cobwebs. What if Rinoa didn't remember him, like he did her?

The thought of being forgotten, or at least, dismissed, hadn't crossed his mind before now. To be disregarded by his friends would be hard but what if Rinoa had done the same?

A life where she didn't remember him, wouldn't be worth living.

It took a great amount of effort to shrug those thoughts away once they'd surfaced. It came as no comfort but Squall had to focus on how he felt, regardless of Rinoa; _he_ couldn't see her come to harm and she was in very real danger. Whether Rinoa appreciated his efforts was irrelevant.

Pushing free of the banks, Squall carried on into the Training Centre. His butterfly pulse was still thrumming in his temples.

The metal walkway leading to the enclosure was pitted and specked with lichen. Further into the centre the artificial habitat had taken over the interior; trees and shrubs completely covered the walls and floor. The pounding of the waterfall could be heard not far away and as Squall emerged into the centre proper, he had to stop in finding it was occupied.

From behind the cover a fallen tree, he could discern it was a woman, despite the male training uniform. She moved like she was tired, long dark hair whipping around her head in a dishevelled ponytail. When she swung her weapon in a wide arc, all Squall could see through his blurring vision was the sweep of his own sword. The sight was all at once rapturous and heartbreaking.

Rinoa…

The world pinpointed to the strands of hair around her face, the light sheen of sweat on her skin and the caked blood and dirt on her hands. She looked tired and defeated, fighting on with only her heart because her body was giving out on her. She looked so sad… Yet she was the most beautiful sight Squall had ever seen…

Why was she dressed in the training uniform? Had things changed so much that the woman he would always remember as a freedom fighter, not a soldier for hire, would sell herself into martial slavery? Was Rinoa a SeeD? The very thought stung like a slap; like she hadn't simply gone into the occupation of warfare but the business of selling her soul; prostitution.

The lionheart too was out of place. Rinoa had always used the pinwheel. The one occasion where he'd tried to explain the use of a gunblade, she'd just stood and smiled at him like an indulging parent. She'd never been interested in learning to use the weapon.

Squall suddenly realised that he hadn't given much thought to how Rinoa would survive life. His disappearance was really only one facet of that; how would she make money, where would she live and what would she do? He'd always just assumed that Garden would take care of her, but Garden had no place for people without functions.

Had becoming a SeeD been her only option?

Self-loathing began to swell in Squall's chest like rapid fire that burned right through. Quickly on the heels of this new sensation were tears to join the thousands he'd already shed through fear, guilt and lost love.

For a long time he'd beaten himself up over leaving the woman he loved to the unknown. But where the thoughts that plagued him were of her danger from a hidden enemy rather than how she might _live_, Squall was almost incapacitated to find that the greater threat had been the latter.

The lionheart swung round and nearly left Rinoa's hands. She looked so tired and so desperate.

Squall watched Rinoa drop to the ground and heave into her knees.

--

Rinoa wiped a sleeve over her face. Her eyes were raw and they stung when she blinked. Her nose was running too and she sniffed like a child to clear it.

Using the lionheart like a crutch, she levered herself to her feet.

'_Conduct of SeeD members during this occasion was deplorable. I have never seen such reckless disregard for honour or duty. Every request by myself was made with courtesy and all responses were flatly refused. Galbadia and Garden have not always been great allies but in the face of a greater threat it was hoped we might put our differences aside. The deaths of over a hundred of Galbadia's finest soldiers has sent the clear message that Garden will not be there even when the threat supersedes all else.'_

Rinoa had read the note so many times now she knew it almost by wrote… But the official condemnation of Garden was nothing in comparison to the small, personalised, note left for her alone.

'_You would defend those that have your loyalty only in money, and not those who protected you as you grew? You're a traitor to your mother and a disappointment to your father…'_

Rinoa swung her blade one last time, pouring everything she had into the motion. The echo of her voice was otherworldly in volume and rang through the metal rafters like a rolling thunder. But where the lionheart should have cleaved a path with no resistance, Rinoa felt too late the blade halt suddenly.

When she turned she immediately released the gunblade, staggering back like her victim who crumbled to his knees. The shimmering blue blade was embedded deep in his stomach and he clawed at the penetration with bone-thin fingers that were mottled with scars and slick with blood.

He looked up at her and Rinoa found she couldn't look away from him, nor move to his aid. Her eyes took in the scraggly beard, long mats of hair and general state of wildness. She was searching for recognition but nothing would come. There was no way he was a SeeD and there were no civilians within Garden who had such poor appearances.

Like a moment out of time she just stood and watched the stranger bleeding to death in front of her, only to suddenly lurch forward to her knees, hands worrying around the blade. When she looked up, the world narrowed in and she forgot to breathe.

There, beneath the tangles of greying hair and emaciated facial features, she recognised a man she thought lost to her. From the initial discovery her gaze was ravenous as it searched for other clues of identity. Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a thought and Rinoa knew she had best catch on to it quick.

With fingers that were surprisingly steady, Rinoa reached out, like she hadn't stabbed a stranger and was letting him bleed on his knees, to brush back the nest of hair.

"No…" Her voice was a rasp, a gurgle of emotion that constricted her throat.

Tears coursed down Rinoa's cheeks anew and she shook her head slowly at first, then with a violence that was hysterical.

"Someone…" She pleaded, gripping tightly to Squall's lifeless body as it slumped to the floor. "Somebody help me!"

_**Aurora**_

_chrisVIII_ – _Ethan could be anyone and that's the beauty of it. You'll have to see how he squares up under pressure. He thinks he's in love with Rinoa now, but what happens when he discovers just who she really is? I hope you had a grand holiday!_

_Sophie – I'm not dead. Just takes me a while to get these chapters written. We're starting to move forward now so I hope you stick wit me._

_KenshinGoku – Well, I'm glad I made you smile. And the fact I'm the first to reply to a review is terrible – I think it's just as important for me to respond to reviews as it is for people to leave them. It gives you a connection to the story and the opportunity to express opinions, and have them answered. I hope you keep it up and that others respond to you. I thank you for your comments, they're much appreciated. It will be a long and complicated journey and I hope you stick with me._

_Chris – I really enjoy writing the scenes between Zell and Rinoa. They have a beautifully innocent connection that will really bloom through the story. When things get very complicated, they're going to have one another to lean on. The scar! I took it for granted that Squall's appearance was just that distorted. I'll be careful not to do that again. His new appearance only seems to have gotten him into more trouble though. I'm glad you're catching on to a few of the more subtle elements; lets me know I haven't completely gone off the reservation._

_abelingcain_ – _Well, here's the first reaction. Zell's can't be any worse. Can it?_

_Well, here's another chapter. I hope you all enjoy and I'll do my best to get the next one out to you as soon as possible. Take care!_


	13. Shattered Knights, Homecoming

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_Author's Note: Well, here it is. After FOREVER, I finally got this out. It's a little short, I know. But it is something and in that spirit, I request that I not be harmed too much. This is the closing chapter of Part 1. Part 2 is already underway and Part 3 will not be far behind. I'm getting there guys!  
And can I just say; WOW! What a turn out for that last chapter! I think that's the most reviews I've had for a single chapter since beginning. Thanks a lot!_

_**Shattered Knights – Homecoming**_

Quistis' steps instinctively slowed when the clacking of her heels against marble were swallowed by plush carpet. She remembered making this journey almost six years ago. Back then, the circumstances had been a lot simpler. And less dire.

The medical wing always carried the odour of alcohol and antiseptics. The harshness of it made her nose crinkle. A deep hush blanketed the area, the only sound came from a determined fax machine in the corner. The only light came from the ambience bulbs in the ceiling. Quistis navigated her way through the near darkness to the end of the little corridor that branched off to patient beds, consult room and surgeries.

Dr Kadowaki was in the room when Quistis arrived. The doctor raised a plump finger to her lips as a motion of silence; Quistis slowed again.

The patient on the bed was naked but for a pair of ill-fitting shorts that were so big the elastic didn't even tighten around his waist. Around his torso there was a thick application of bandages, a sliver of red appearing in the middle.

Quistis didn't realise until that point how close it had been.

"Is he going to be okay?" She asked, still staring at Squall…

He'd been her student once. She'd stood in this same spot years ago and tsked at his actions that had resulted in the scar on his face. He'd only been a boy back then and she herself a young woman that fancied herself in love. She remembered how his aloofness and resistance had caused her so much injury. Odd now that it made her smile in fondness; he was no longer that boy and she wasn't that girl.

Their journey together had changed them all. Starting at a distance and ending as close friends, realising that feelings like love had been misinterpreted as sisterly affections, they were closer than ever.

And then he'd just left. No one ever discovered why.

To return now, when Rinoa was just picking up her feet and the world was teetering on the edge of war once more, didn't sit right. Was it just coincidence or was there something else at work here?

Quistis remembered Squall all those years ago. He was tall and broad, the years of training and discipline clearly displayed by his sculpted body. His chestnut hair had flopped over his forehead with careless beauty, framing eyes that were always alert. The only tarnish to his perfection was the scar on his face and that had oddly improved his looks. Being the most antisocial individual in Garden hadn't even damaged his impression.

But now, three years later, there was almost nothing left of the Squall Quistis remembered.

"That depends on what you consider to be 'okay'." Dr Kadowaki picked up, pulling Quistis from her memories. "Poor boy's been through a hell of a thing."

Quistis raised a brow in question.

"It was touch-and-go during surgery, could really have done with some serious curative magic, but science and a few potions pulled him through. The injury isn't that bad but he's only a little thing now; I'm surprised he's alive at all." Kadowaki explained, her words heavy with sorrow; she'd known Squall for a long time too. "See his wrists?" She continued, picking up Squall's arm and passing her fingers over his wrist in an almost motherly gesture. "The scar tissue is so thick and there's even freshly torn skin on the underside. His ankles are in a similar condition too."

"He was chained up?"

"I'd say so. And for a long time too."

Quistis felt a weight of guilt suddenly press down on her shoulders; it had never crossed her mind that Squall could be in trouble. Squall was the strongest man she knew. He was a hero and he'd felled two sorceress' which made him almost a God.

It was with a surge of bile that Quistis realised her old friend was just a man and he could have been in trouble all those years ago. It had never occurred to anyone he could have been in trouble… Suddenly, with an anger she had never felt before, Quistis realised she could no longer truly count herself among Squall's friends.

"There's too many scars on his body to count." Kadowaki said. Each new trauma she listed made Quistis feel guiltier, to the point she was swaying on her feet. "He's severely malnourished; I won't know the extent of the damage until test results come back but given everything else, I'd say the last meal he had was probably three years ago."

The implications of those words weren't lost; he'd suffered every day since his disappearance.

"I took some x-rays, post-op. I counted at least ten breaks to his arms alone. I don't think he realises that three of his ribs are still broken too."

Quistis couldn't hear anymore. She was going to be sick. "Who knows?" She glanced up, fixing Kadowaki with a determined glare. "Who knows he's back?"

"You, Rinoa and myself."

"It stays that way."

Kadowaki looked horrified. "Quistis, he was your friend! More than ever, he needs you; he needs everyone."

"I don't know this man." Quistis felt like she was looking back at herself, so out of character did she seem. She wanted nothing more than to pace Squall's bedside until he woke. To get down on her knees the moment his eyes opened and offer up her soul; she wanted to publicly flogged for her failings and spend the rest of her life in demeaning servitude.

But she was Commander now and she had to put her heart away; if only to appear in control. There were more lives than ever relying on her to keep their safety to hand. Even if Squall turned out to know nothing of his ordeal, she could not risk the world knowing that a living legend had suddenly turned up when Garden had been accused of hiding a sorceress.

So Quistis retreated into the void and became the bastard she thought herself. "I don't know who will wake up in this bed; the Squall from years ago or a man that has too many secrets to be trusted. No one else can know he's here, do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Quistis looked one last time at her friend and fled the room, fighting back tears.

--

Rinoa was concealed behind some ornamental shrubbery when Quistis ran from the medical wing. She watched the scene with a stab of envy, wishing she too could escape this place. Everything Rinoa had known as truth had suddenly been upended and she had nowhere to turn.

Her hands were still shaking, the skin now taught with drying blood. There was so much of it; soaked into her uniform, encrusted to her nails and matted into her hair. The cloying stench was inescapable.

Why come back now? After all this time, why did he have to come back and mess everything up?

She hadn't been over him but she was healing. Slowly…

Rinoa climbed down from her hiding place. Tears made her eyes bright and she swallowed them back. She wouldn't cry over him; not anymore.

For a long moment of indecision, Rinoa hovered just outside the entrance to the wards. Part of her wanted to go in, to think that the past three years had been nothing but a horrible dream and stand by Squall's side; like it was supposed to be. Dr Kadowaki had already said Squall would live, that she hadn't hurt him too badly, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered beyond this.

But another side, one growing more dominant each day, wanted to get as far from Squall as possible. He'd given up his right to a sorceress years ago and she owed him nothing. Her conscience was clean.

In the end, swallowing down that urge that felt like a roaring beast in her chest, Rinoa walked away. Her footsteps were heavy and seemed to echo her guilt, pounding along the marble floors. Like wading against the tide, she pushed further and further, struggling to breathe at first but breaking for air when she returned to the training area.

The Lionheart was still resting in the dirt, partially covered by loose soil and blood. Squall's blood…

Acutely, Rinoa recalled the moments that had gone by where she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. Squall had come back… His body had changed, almost disappeared, but it was him. The realisation had come like a punch to the gut. Her recovery was short lived when she realised she'd bit into his side with a sword.

Her hands had shaken against the frailness of his body. For all the time he lay back, panting, his eyes had looked up at her in wonderment. More than once she had stopped the pressure over his side, stopped yelling for help, just to really experience the regard he held her with.

Squall almost looked as though he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing; that he too was as shocked by this meeting as she was.

For a breathless moment, Rinoa thought she might kiss him… He looked as though he had never really left; the way he looked at her, so full of love without saying it. But then blood had flecked his lips when he coughed and she'd had no choice but to pick up his seemingly weightless body and get him to the infirmary herself.

By the time the medical suite came into view, Rinoa was staggering under their combined weight. She practically fell through the automatic doors, barely offloading her charge onto the medical bed.

Then the screaming had started in earnest. Terror made her cry and scream and want to wake up from what had to be a nightmare. Dr Kadowaki had burst from her office and as if she'd known the only thing that could make Rinoa scream like that, had only whispered Squall's name.

Rinoa had watched the whole operation from the edge of the room, refusing to leave. It had been long and bloody, nearly wiping out those last reserves of strength she had. All the while, the guilt came down harder.

What was happening?

After Dr Kadowaki had pulled her scrubs off with a groan, smiling despite the exhaustion, Rinoa felt safe enough to leave. She ran before anything more than proof of life could be given…

Still sitting in the dirt in the training centre she couldn't make sense of any of her emotions. One part wanted to run to him and the other wanted to run away. And it was impossible to be of one mindset all the time, so she wavered between the two extremes, never knowing what she would do next.

"Rinoa…?" A voice called.

She looked up, wiping angrily at tears. Ethan was just coming through the entrance and had yet to make her position. Good sense told her to get out of sight but she yearned for comfort too much and Ethan had always given it freely. So she waited.

"Rin-" He stopped short, eyes widening as he took her in. He saw the blood, the dirt and the woman he believed he was in love with utterly defeated. He couldn't cover the distance between them fast enough.

Ethan dropped to his knees before her. The expression on his face made her insides ache and without a second thought, Rinoa launched her arms around him and cried all over again.

--

The accusing tone of Dr Kadowaki's voice was still ringing in her ears when Quistis replaced the phone to its cradle. The message had been short and given with only professionalism, excluding the warm comfort Quistis had always associated with her doctor.

Squall was awake…

The way her legs shook when she stood came as a surprise, though Quistis realised it shouldn't have. Ever since she'd escaped the infirmary and the torturous image of her friend there had been no respite from the plague of uncertainty.

The compulsion to be at Squall's side was almost palpable. Yet the duty to SeeD was just as strong, if not made stronger by the misconception she could hide behind it. She'd been so conflicted over what needed to be done and what might happen with this new turn of events, she hadn't even sought out Rinoa.

Quistis opened the drawer to her desk and pulled free a tattered photograph, too long out of its frame. On one side of the shot Irvine smirked from under his hat, Selphie crouched beside Angelo and Quistis herself smiled openly at the couple beside her.

Squall and Rinoa took up most of the attention when gazing at the image. Their relationship to one another had never been anything but magnetic. The tall, broad frame of Squall might have overpowered Rinoa if she didn't look just as striking, arms interlaced with the one protectively draped across her waist. Together, they were an enduring image of devotion. Not even Zell's usual boisterous pose could detract from them.

But the photograph had proven to be merely a window in time, one that decayed and changed almost to obscurity in the blink of an eye.

Would it be too much to ask for those days back, Quistis wondered. She wanted her friend back more than anything…

Replacing the old image, Quistis finally pulled her courage together and moved forward. She didn't feel ready to take on the future but remembering the past and what it had meant to all of them, she was now more prepared than ever to fight for it.

The reserves of courage it had taken to simply leave her office had all but run down by the time Quistis made it to the infirmary. The darkness that greeted her arrival only made the coming moments more frightening.

What would she say? What could she possibly say to a man that had been hurt so much? Apologies wouldn't cover the remorse she felt and it wouldn't even begin to heal the breach between them. But simply apologising and getting down to business was a poor show of friendship too. She didn't want Squall to think they had known of his situation all this time and no one had cared.

A darker thought surfaced on the tail of her sympathy and Quistis suddenly fantasised of her opening words being furious and blaming. The anger at his stupid decision, because Quistis couldn't think of one thing that would make all this okay, seemed like an easier thing to express. So easy in fact she might have held on to it had the air not fled her lungs the moment she stepped into Squall's room.

If Squall had been awake when Dr Kadowaki called it was now no longer the case. His eyes were closed over and his chest rose and fell with the evenness of deep, healing sleep.

Quistis swayed at the threshold before moving into the room proper. She pulled up a chair and settled in to wait for Squall to waken again. In the gloom she examined his body once more, trying in vain to get some clinical distance from the vision of savagery.

Squall was bone thin and his skin looked like withered leaves. His hair was streaked with grey and matted all over his face. A myriad of bruises covered his chest and arms, lurid purple bruises that looked as though they would ooze with blood if the skin was pierced.

"What happened…?" Quistis whispered, unable to stop her own fleshy hand reaching over for Squall's wasted fingers. She paled at the coolness of his skin and the sharp prominences of his skeleton against her own proportioned body. She held to his hand so tight she worried she might break him. But she couldn't let go.

"Ma'am…" Kadowaki started, hating to interrupt the scene of tenderness.

Quistis looked up from her seat with a tired smile, never releasing her hold. "Doctor, it's 'Quistis'. Never treat me any other way."

Kadowaki smiled in return. Relief that their brief spat earlier was over brought back her full beaming expression. It didn't last long however, when her gaze travelled to her patient.

"I got back his test results… Everything I theorised earlier has been confirmed; severe malnutrition, mass internal injuries and there were large traces of an unidentifiable drug in his system. All this abuse has been on going for years. He wouldn't have lived through much more of it…"

Quistis swallowed the information like she would bile. "Did he say anything when he woke?"

"That's another thing… I don't think he can talk. I tried to get a few words out of him but… He just looked at me. I examined his throat and neck after he'd fallen asleep again but couldn't find any signs of damage to the vocal cords. I think he's suffering from PTSD."

"PTSD?"

"A common illness with soldiers, especially those who've seen brutal combat or suffered injuries during service; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Common symptoms are depression, emotional instability and sometimes, in severe cases, loss of speech. With time, it might come back, but for now he can't make a sound."

Quistis squeezed Squall's hand tighter unconsciously. Kadowaki carried on speaking.

"Quistis, I think it's important you fully understand this situation; he should have died long before now… His injuries are compounded, he's starving and from what I can see he's known no respite from physical torture for as long as he's been away.

"I know about the incident at Deling. I know Galbadia have been moving their forces closer to the borders again and more and more applications are crossing my desk for declaration of fitness; we're mobilising our troops too. It doesn't take a high ranking officer to know we're on the edge of another war. Squall getting back now, when things are about to break down again, can't be a coincidence."

She wasn't allowed to discuss the current issues with anyone not sanctioned by the Garden Masters but it seemed pointless to refute what Kadowaki was saying. "I don't think it's a coincidence." Quistis stated. "Somebody wants Rinoa and I'm willing to bet everything that someone knows why Squall left. We need to be wary of every move Galbadia makes and be ready to protect Rinoa when the time comes."

After a brief bout of hesitation Quistis reached up and brushed a stray tangle of wiry hair from Squall's face. His eyelids fluttered at the touch but he didn't waken. After a moment, she found her hand soothing more of his ruffled hair back. "For now, it has to be just the three of us that know. I'll be here with him as often as I can but we need to rehabilitate him a bit before we tell the others; and certainly before we make his return public. Whoever did this could still be looking for him and I… I need to keep him safe from now on…"

"It could take months, Quistis. Years, even…"

"I know. But he'll make it. I'll be here. I won't force Rinoa to, but he'll have someone, at least." Quistis took a deep breath. "He's got a lot to face when he gets better; the others, SeeD and the fury of a sorceress. I want him as well as possible for that."

"I hope you know what you're doing." Kadowaki whispered before retreating.

Quistis watched her hand comb Squall's hair whilst the other still clung to his fingers. "Me too."

--

After having cried for longer than she remembered, Rinoa woke in her own bed, still dressed and unmercifully tired. She briefly recalled being cradled in Ethan's arms and carried through the dimly lit passageways of Garden. In the fleeting glances she stole between heavy eyelids Rinoa could see Ethan's face shrouded by his hair.

She didn't remember how he'd placed her in her own bed and lingered at her side for over an hour, watching with a tortured expression as she tossed and turned through her nightmares.

Rinoa sat up and peeled away her SeeD jacket that stank of old blood. The Lionheart blade was resting on the floor by the wall and as she turned to toss her jacket, she noticed a note on her bedside table. The paper had been peeled from one of her own notebooks but the script was too slanted for her own penmanship.

_Rinoa,_

_If you wake to this note, know that I'll be back in a few short hours with the sunrise. Sleep well and know I'm never far away…_

_Ethan_

The sentiment made her smile and there was a soothing hum in her chest. She ran her fingers over the words before falling back to her pillow. She was asleep once more in seconds.

_**Aurora**_

_M – It's great to get a lurker out in the open! Thanks so much for the comments and I'm glad to hear I haven't yet killed anyone with suspense. I hope this chapter leaves you in a good place._

_abelingcain_ – _I have the scene for Zell and Squall already planned out. It should be something but you'll have to wait a little while for it yet. Thanks for reading!_

_KenshinGoku_ – _I can't say enough for the comments you leave at the end of my chapters. Your responses and many others are the reason I continue writing, even when fitting it in becomes a real challenge. I'm so sorry this has taken such a long time to get to the site but this chapter has plagued me. I'm not entirely happy with it as it stands but I must press on if I'm to keep up. If anything, I'm learning about the torture that is writers block. Thanks again for your review, it's always a pleasure. Squall and Rinoa will have their meeting soon, one that isn't so bloody. But it might not be as wonderful as you'd think…_

_chrisVIII_ – _See, it's good to know that perspective. I can put forward my reasons for writing it as I did, but I think largely some of the things you're saying are due to the way I've written it. This in itself has made me more watchful on how I change points of view. I thought it was important they not meet on good terms, simply because all the build up of the previous chapters would have been pointless if Rinoa had simply thrown herself back into his arms. She's in that odd place right now where she's not sure if she loves him or hates him. And she's not sure she's not falling in love with Ethan. As for the training – Rinoa uses training as a cut loose for all the things in her life she can't control. I don't know about you but I when I get angry enough to scream, I take a lot of my energy out at my bag; it's wild and uncoordinated and it just feels good to throw yourself at something without trying to be perfect. This is what I envision for Rinoa.  
One again, I want to say thanks for your reviews. As always, they provide valuable insight, no matter the opinion expressed. I hope in future chapters I can coax you over to my side and if not, at the very least, take you to a point in the story where you're comfortable with how things have played out._

_Sophie – I had a great holiday thank you, much as the time seems to have flown by._ _I can't believe I haven't updated in so long! I'm beyond ashamed. Here I was worried that you might walk out on me and I all but dropped off the face of the earth. I hope this chapter brings back your enthusiasm as it has mine and hopefully there'll be more input on both sides._

_FFMuse_ – _I'm so glad there's someone else out there who was as tired as I was with following Rinoa as she stormed off in another tantrum. Having Rinoa join SeeD is important to the story, something that will become clear. But hopefully as we go through, you'll see that she may have signed up for the training and the paycheque but she never really became a solider like the others. What she loves is her teaching and in her heart of hears, Rinoa knows she only joined SeeD in some backwards attempt to keep Squall with her.  
I get slightly uncomfortable writing the scenes for Rinoa and Ethan because I'm a big fan of the cliché but I think it'll be worth it in the end. What's true love without a little strife to prove it?_

_Chris – Thanks! Though I will try to tone down the cliffhangers since they get boring after a while. There needs to be a little respite. I'm glad you're really getting into this. I worry that sometimes I don't express these emotions on the page as clearly as I see them in my head. And if it makes you feel any better, I didn't want to stab him. But it struck me as perfect and a springboard for this second part._

_Jayliyah – It's such a relief to hear you say these things. I'm in a perpetual state of unease about this story since it's supposed to be a very emotional battle on all sides and sometimes I don't think I do it justice. The prostitution comment was actually one of my favourites too. I think it really sums up how Rinoa feels about her life as a soldier. She never wanted to be a SeeD but here she is anyway, going against everything she ever believed in, to hold on to the one thing that at the time, seemed so important. It's amazing what people will surrender in the name of love; dignity, their lives and even love itself.  
I have the ending to the whole thing written and I think it achieves what I hope it will, and what you're saying about the long journey and the fight for their imperfect love that's perfect simply for them. I hope you're around to enjoy it._

_Freyjadour_ – _You're not the only one that's been busy. I completely understand. I'm sorry you've waited so long but here it is. A little closure before we start on another journey together._

_NeoMaelstrom_ – _I definitely know what you mean about reviews. I'm the same; I'm resolving to review more when I read but I find I forget, which is just terrible. I thank you for taking the time to comment and I look forward to hearing from you again soon._

_Wow, that was a lot of reviews to reply to! Thanks to everyone who read and I hope this chapter hasn't been too much waited for. Enjoy and see you again soon!_


	14. Shattered Knights, Interim

**_Shattered Knights - Interim_**

Rinoa played with the tails of her training jacket. Her boots had scuffed an uneven pattern in the carpet and there were even traces of dirt in her path. She had been waiting a long time for her courage to appear. In the next room Squall was awake and she couldn't bring herself to see him.

Ethan had returned that morning as he'd promised. In his fingers had been a flower from the gardens, one he gave to her with a kiss. The memory of his lips seemed to burn when she thought of Squall and she didnt know if it was from embarrassment or anger.

A night's fitful rest hadn't improved her mindset, nor had Ethan's assurances of support for whatever was going on, but seeing Squall wasn't something she could put off. He was hurt, by her own hand too, and had been hurting for a long time. She had to be there, if only to honour their memory.

And it would have to be just that because Rinoa knew she was too far gone to recover her dying heart for Squall...

She would always love him, _always._ But more than she feared becoming a sorceress, Rinoa feared losing that perfect love once more. She wouldnt survive it a second time. Ethan wasn't perfect and it wouldn't kill her if he suddenly left. The little Ethan did provide however was enough to keep her afloat.

"You've waited years for this." A soft voice informed, a presence now warm behind Rinoas back. She startled slightly at the sudden voice. "You waited for him to come back every day since he left. You waited to tell him you were sorry for whatever caused him to leave, you waited to tell him how much you hated that he left you alone; that you hated him for breaking his promise. Youre still waiting to tell him that you love him, though itll never be the same."

"It doesn't matter anymore. None of it. I waited for something that would never happen; for someone to return that only existed in my heart." She whispered brokenly.

Quistis put a hand briefly on Rinoa's shoulder, sighed and moved away. She didnt speak until she was at the door, after which she retreated into Garden's main body. "There's only one reason Squall would come back here... _You_."

--

Rinoa cautiously moved into Squall's room. He was in bed with his eyes closed. At seeing him asleep she immediately moved to retreat. But someone dropped something out in the lobby with a loud crash and Squall suddenly bolted upright.

Without thinking Rinoa was by his side. She placed her palms to his shoulders to stop him throwing himself about. His eyes moved wildly about the room unfocussed. Eventually they settled on her face and he calmed a little.

"It's okay." She hesitated, removing her hands.

Squall swallowed thickly. Pain flashed across his face as he shuffled back to lean against the wall. Rinoa remained perched on the side of his bed but she looked ready to bolt at any second.

They said you can't talk. Rinoa offered, not knowing what else to begin with. She fought hard to keep her anger at bay. For years she had waited to hear Squall's explanations and now that the chance had come, he couldn't speak to tell her. Not that his excuses would mean a great deal now. Whatever bond they had shared so long ago was now gone.

"Im sorry." She blurted suddenly. At Squall's questioning gaze she dumbly pointed to his waist. "I didnt mean to hurt you."

Squall actually smiled. It looked as thought it required a great deal of concentration on his part but Rinoa thought it looked as adorable as always. She shook her head disgustedly at the off-hand thought and abruptly stood.

"I have to go."

A hand darted out to latch on to hers. The grip was flimsy and she easily broke free of it.

_Please... Don't..._

Feeling trapped, Rinoa ploughed her fingers through her hair before taking a chair on the other side of the room, near the door. One part of her didn't want to be here. Her history with Squall was done; she had come to see he was okay, apologised for accidentally hurting him, and now she wanted to leave. There would be no solace for her here; no closure. She didnt think she even needed it now.

But there was also the part of her that longed for him to explain.

"Squall Im glad youre back." Rinoa stated honestly, because she was. "I want to find out what happened to you and I want to help you get back on your feet." And that was easily said too. The next words tripped stupidly off her tongue however. "But I cant do anymore than that. I cant let you hurt me like that again."

The look on Squall's face was almost too much. She had to look away.

She looked back when the rustling of sheets broke the silence. With a boned hand Squall was reaching for something about his neck; a chain she had not noticed before.

Her fingers at her mouth didnt stop her gasp. "Where did you get that?"

It was her necklace; the last connection to him. She had thrown it into the Balamb Sea weeks ago.

Squall lifted the necklace from his neck.

"No!" Rinoa blurted loudly. "No, you keep it." She added, softer this time when she realised her tone had been a little harsh. "I cant."

She couldn't wear that necklace, not anymore. It would go back on the vow she made at the beach, the vow to be her own woman without dependency. She also remembered the nightmare where the necklace had burnt her. She feared it.

Rinoa stood again. "I really have to go."

She hurried to the door, unable to look back. When she spoke again it was over her shoulder, knowing that if she looked back at the frail man in bed, she would fall to pieces.

"I'll be here to help you get better, Squall. I will." She swallowed. "But thats all I can do."

Then she was gone and Squall was alone.

He looked after her for a long time.

_I know..._ He would say to her. _When youre ready, Ill be waiting._

**_Aurora_**

_Hello! Im sorry I have been gone for so long. It's not by choice, I assure you. I wanted to get this up now as Im working on the beginning chapter for Part 2. This little snippet was an in-between piece I felt was important but didn't really have a place in either Part 1 or 2. Think of it as a little interlude piece._

_Thanks in advance to all those brave enough to pick this story up again. As always, I do work as fast as possible but if I have learned anything as of late, it's that the best laid plans are always the first to go awry!_


	15. Shattered Knights, The Two Commanders

_**Part 2**_

_**Shattered Knights – The Two Commanders**_

With Dr. Kadowaki on the one side of a glass screen with her, Quistis couldn't keep from smiling. Two months down the road of Squall's rehabilitation and he had come further than any of them could have dreamed. It would take years for some of the damage to fade, lifetimes to for others, but Squall was coming back to them.

The other side of the observation room screen was a gym. Squall was on a treadmill, slowly walking strength back into his legs. For the most part he didn't even need to hold on to the railing. A film of sweat was gathering on his brow that gave his skin a healthy shine.

He was no longer skeletal looking. Although his clothes still hung on him awkwardly, there were muscles on his body. Quistis could see them all flexing and relaxing with each step. The sight almost brought tears to her eyes.

"He's looking good, isn't he?" Kadowaki appraised. She too was watching Squall's determined gait, and with no small amount of pride.

"It's amazing…" She agreed in a breathy voice. "It feels like yesterday where we were carrying him everywhere."

Kadowaki nodded. "That man has always been a fighter. Seems nothing can wipe that away."

Quistis swallowed another lump of guilt. "How much longer does he have in physio?"

"He's only just started." The doctor laughed. "He'll be with Amy for another hour or so yet."

Quistis presumed 'Amy' was the name of the nurse hovering close to the treadmill. She was a petite thing and adorably round. Her bobbed hair framed a radiantly pleased face. Quistis liked her immediately.

"Well, do you think Amy would mind if I stole her patient for the afternoon?" Quistis let her eyes stray to Squall. "I have something planned and he'll be too tired later."

"I'm sure she won't mind at all." Kadowaki beamed. She pressed her finger to the intercom pad beside the glass and spoke to Amy on the other side. "That's enough for today Amy. Could you help Squall clean up and bring him back to the lobby?"

The treadmill eased to a stop and Squall turned with a questioning look on his face. Amy was seeing to the safety cables and removing the heart monitor and blood pressure cuff from Squall's arm.

"We'll be with you in a moment." Amy confirmed. Her voice was almost sunshine itself.

Quistis tried to allay some of Squall's confusion with a smile and it helped a little. He allowed Amy to help him on his way through to the showers. The two remaining women waited in the lobby.

Quistis spoke to Kadowaki about upcoming missions that would require her medical assessments, gossip floating through Garden and the practicality of adding on another ward to the infirmary. It seemed no time at all before Squall was coming out, leaning heavily on cane. Amy was just behind him.

Squall was much recovered. His skin shone with his health. The frailness of his frame was now gone and the burgeoning muscles were beginning to press tight to his skin once more. He still had a long wiry beard and tousled shoulder length hair but the rest of him was coming back to normal. Quistis even hoped the colour of his hair would return and banish the grey wisps.

"We're going out for a walk." Quistis said with a smile. She had booked the afternoon off and was determined to take Squall on a walk of Garden. Much of it was still the same from when he left but she doubted he would much care. He'd been stuck in the infirmary since his arrival and the freedom would strengthen him as much as the exercise.

Kadowaki voiced her concern. "What if someone recognises him?"

Quistis smiled gently, having gone over the same concerns with herself. Someone might recognise him but she felt the benefit far outweighed the risk. Squall just looked at her, completely dumbfounded. Even he agreed with keeping his profile low until he was fully recovered.

"They might." Quistis conceded. She walked to Squall's side and offered her arm. He took it gratefully. "But they're going to eventually and I think it's time he saw more than just these four walls."

"If you think it best Commander." Kadowaki responded, trying to hide a grin of triumph. She was beginning to worry Squall would have to remain hidden indefinitely. To see Quistis come round like this was heart-warming.

Kadowaki and Amy watched the pair leave. Squall used his cane and Quistis held his arm only as a precaution. He didn't need to lean on her and they walked together like old friends simply enjoying a walk.

Amy beamed a smile after they rounded the corner. "I have to get back to work."

"I thought only Squall needed physiotherapy today? There's no one else down on the schedule…" Kadowaki looked down on the woman with a quizzical frown.

"Aristos came in earlier with a sprained ankle."

Kadowaki groaned. "Again?"

--

Squall let the sound of running water rush over his senses. Quistis was quiet beside him and it was comfortable. He couldn't speak had he wanted to but he didn't feel any awkwardness. Over the course of the two months they had become close again. She no longer asked what had happened, accepting it was something he couldn't write on paper. And with her acceptance came peace.

Rinoa didn't come around as much but Squall didn't expect her to. She did need answers and there would be no peace until she got them.

"I thought we might go to the Quad." Quistis said, brushing her fingers along the surface of a waterway. "I hear there's a particularly fine spectacle there this time of day. Front row seats will be a problem however." She grinned at him. "So how does the balcony sound?"

'_Sounds perfect, Commander.'_ Squall grinned.

Quistis kept their walk slow and steady. Only the repeated clunk of Squall's cane intruded on the tranquillity. They walked up the main staircase to the elevator. Squall kept his head down when the carriage emptied. A few people gave their respects to Quistis but didn't ask anything further. Once alone in the carriage they both heaved a sigh of relief. She would deal with the consequences if someone recognised Squall but that didn't mean she wanted to, or felt the need to flout the former Commander's sudden appearance.

On the balcony Quistis released Squall. He continued on to the railings, basking in the brilliant sunlight. A warm breeze buffeted his hair and even still recovering Quistis had to admit how striking Squall was. She approached the railing herself and directed Squall's gaze to the Quad.

A crowd had gathered. In the centre were two figures and even so far up it was impossible to mistake them; Zell and Rinoa.

'_It's a duel…'_

"They do this once a month." Quistis said. She become adept and guessing what Squall might like to hear. "It's just a show for the younger cadets but it never gets old. At first it was just a demonstration on how magic and armed combat can be utilised effectively against the other. But you know those two; it quickly got out of control when Zell started showing off and Rinoa wouldn't back down." Quistis laughed and noted the smile on Squall's face. "So now they do a little demo for the young ones and show them what they can achieve with good study."

'_It's a good idea. I bet Zell gets a real kick out of it.'_

"I think Zell gets the most out of it." Quistis said a moment later. "He's a really good Instructor. They both are."

The news of Rinoa's true station in Garden had come as a shock. Initially Squall blamed himself; he had left her with nothing and no course of action. She would never return to her father in Deling and Timber was no longer fighting for resistance. There was only so much Garden could do for Rinoa as a guest. Yet even he would never have thought she would become a SeeD. Rinoa had voiced, loudly and often, she would never fight for something as soulless as money.

He'd driven her to that.

Seeing her now however put new light on those dark thoughts; as a SeeD, Rinoa had become, if possible, even more beautiful. And with the children she was an angel.

Zell and Rinoa began their match, drawing Squall from his rapidly declining thoughts. They both limited their attacks to their field of expertise and Squall was impressed with how quickly and casually Rinoa was able to summon her magic. She was a commanding sight; with just a wave of her hand, or slight change to her stance, she was able to call one element after the other. The potency of that magic had also increased he noticed, not with a little concern. The wave of fire she released into the air was enough to warm even his face on the balcony.

And the way she moved with Zell, like they were dancing, was utterly breathtaking. He remembered that about her keenly.

Zell was also impressive. Three years had seen him mature a great deal. He was still a determined show-off but he had the skill to back up his flamboyant nature. He executed techniques Squall had only ever seen in combat magazines. There was a particular sequence that ended with a thundering quake through the ground and Squall remembered the awesome power of that one blow from their time in the Sorceress War.

Yet no matter how striking they both were, he could see they were just messing around. There was nothing of determination in Rinoa's gaze; only playfulness. She was teasing Zell even, making him back-flip and summersault repeatedly to dodge her attacks. There were cheers and screams from the little ones watching. Even Squall found himself entertained. Zell too was holding back. Squall had been on the receiving end of a few of the martial master's blows and he could barely keep his feet afterwards. Zell was just showing his potential and yet, neither had really unleashed the strength that made them heroes.

Rinoa brought her fists together in front of her chest. As she pulled them apart fire danced in the space, jumping from each hand like electrical conduits. She punched out with both arms and the ensuing fire took on the shape of a great beast. It howled at the sky, as if to the unseen moon, bent its head and swallowed Zell whole. There was collective gasp from the audience and then uproarious cheers when Zell was revealed to be completely unharmed. The fire dissipated into sweet-smelling smoke.

Quistis smiled next to him. "I thought you might like to see this."

'_I did_._ Thank you.'_

"We're not done yet." She promised, leading Squall away from the balcony. He took one last lingering look at Rinoa before they departed, not noticing a moment later when the woman's eyes flitted to the balcony, too late to see him standing there.

Their next stop was the gardens. The beautiful weather had beckoned everyone outside and the gardens were teeming with people. Entirely nervous about being seen and recognised, Squall almost refused to go any further. Only the gentle assurance from Quistis made him change his mind. As it was, they didn't journey far. The purpose for their coming here revealed itself quickly.

Under the shade of a giant beech Irvine and Selphie were lounging together on a picnic blanket. From where he was stood Squall couldn't hear what they were saying. He didn't need to. He could see plainly that what they were discussing was just between them.

Selphie's mouth curled up in a devilish smile. She hooked a finger into Irvine's shirt front and drew him close. She whispered something against his mouth and Irvine absently removed his hat, tossing it away. She pulled him down into a kiss, wrapping a leg over his waist and giggling when Irvine moved to support her hips. She shook her head, her expression delirious before kissing him again.

Squall couldn't look for long. The embrace became too intimate. And too painful.

'_I'm glad they're happy.'_

"I've never seen anything like it." Quistis said. "The most outrageous flirt on the planet and he's corralled by a mere slip of girl."

'_Selphie looks all shy smiles and innocence but you should know she's wicked sharp under all that Quistis. Irvine didn't stand a damn chance.'_

"We should probably get out of here." Quistis murmured, noticing Irvine and Selphie becoming increasingly more amorous. "I have one more thing to show you."

--

Quistis opened the door to her quarters and let Squall enter first. "I share with Rinoa." She said quietly, watching him take-in the space.

Rinoa lived here. He could feel her in the atmosphere. He even fancied he could smell her presence.

The door closed softly behind them and Quistis let Squall move through to the livingroom. His slim hands traced over the table top and sofa, eyes closed. She wondered if he could sense all the things that had happened here; the good times where they laughed and the bad times where Rinoa dripped blood everywhere.

"The bathroom is over there." Quistis said after a moment. She pointed. "I just need to fetch something and then I'll join you."

Curious more than anything, Squall did as directed. He left his cane in the hall and seated himself on the edge of the tub. The room hadn't been designed to accommodate two people at once. When Quistis returned it was going to be cramped to say the least.

She appeared a moment later with a bundle under her arm. She closed the bathroom door over with her foot, unrolling the bathing towel across the toilet seat. Within the folds there was a razor, shaving foam and scissors. She looked at Squall who was leant against the bath tub with a sheepish smile.

"Don't get me wrong." Quistis started, pulling Squall's jacket off and tossing it toward the door. "I know men are very protective over their facial hair, but it's just not you."

Squall smiled. He helped with the removal of his shirt, wrapping his bony arms over his ribs when Quistis could not help staring. She had seen him in the infirmary, in a much worse condition but now that his frame was beginning to fill out again from generous meals, the scars that had been lost to loose skin and wounds in shadow were now all plainly visible. He would be riddled with scars for the rest of his life.

After a few moments hesitation, Quistis picked up the small hair-dressing scissors. For a while she could only stare at them in her hand, willing them not to shake. She felt guilt, too much of it bear on her own. She longed to share it with her friends, to not be the Commander for once, but she knew if she let slip her thoughts, everything they had worked for over the past years would unravel at the seams. Today had been good for them; she to see what she was protecting and he to remember what was waiting for him.

A slim hand appeared around her own, steadying the uncertain grip. She looked up to see Squall smiling at her still, his expressive blue-grey eyes as calm as they always were. She was almost certain she could see acceptance in there too; understanding of the weight they all bore.

'_It's okay…'_ He wanted to say, squeezing her hand within his own.

The task of removing the straggled hair from Squall's face turned into a battle Quistis thought she might lose at times. Sections of it were knotted together in large clumps, indistinguishable matter caught up in the wiry tendrils. The skin underneath was raw from scratching. With each sign of neglect, Quistis came ever closer to crying. She ended up talking, knowing she would get no answer, just so she could distance herself from it.

"You missed a lot, while you were… gone." She swallowed convulsively against the knot rising in her throat. "Zell became an Instructor and Irvine graduated." She was pretty sure Squall had worked this out already. "I got your old job."

'_I'd have chosen you too.'_

"Not sure I was the best decision." She joked feebly. "But I get along okay. It helps that I've still got the gang."

'_I thought about you all, every day. I had you too…'_

She was pointedly not talking about Rinoa and it was appreciated. "Trabia Garden was finished. I don't think it would have happened quite so quickly without Selphie causing chaos here, but to see her face when her old home was standing again." Here she laughed openly. "All the nagging, schemes and torment were worth it. She joined the Diplomat Corps after that and we don't see her much anymore. She comes home when ever she can." Quistis looked up and smiled. "I know Irvine misses her horribly."

'_He loves her.'_

"They make a good match. Sometimes, I think the only reason Irvine stayed with SeeD is because of Selphie."

'_I nearly left Garden for a similar reason…'_

With most of the hair cut from Squall's face, Quistis threw the small scissors into the sink. She ran her fingers under the tap for a few moments and then wiped them over Squall's jaw. Her hands were shaking and there was something oddly surreal about the moment. A brief flare from her youth came hurtling back and she quickly squashed the emotion; she wasn't in love with Squall; she wasn't encroaching on anyone's territory, namely Rinoa's, and all she wanted to do was show Squall his real face. There was no need to put awkwardness into a contact that wasn't there.

Thankfully, Squall came to the rescue. As Quistis' cool fingers slipped from wetting his face he scooped up the shaving foam can. After spraying a white glob into his palm he turned the nozzle toward Quistis and sprayed some in her face. She coughed and laughed and stared daggers at his innocent expression.

'_Watch yourself there, Commander.'_

"You'll pay for that." She warned, grinning. The tension suddenly evaporated. There was nothing ever remotely romantic between them. Good friends they were, and they always would be.

Squall lathered his face as best as possible and Quistis scraped the razor over his chin in even strokes. The transformation was amazing.

He looked young. The strong outline of his jaw was back and lit up his face. No longer overshadowed by poorly kempt hair, Squall's face was almost as she remembered it.

"Do you trust me?" She asked suddenly.

'_Of course.'_ He conveyed with a nod, keeping his eyes locked with hers.

She picked up another pair of scissors and a comb. "I think we should do something about your hair. It's not exactly SeeD regulation." She said with a smirk.

The hair on his head was lot easier to deal with. Surprisingly it had fewer knots in. Before long Quistis had it all combed out and was shortening it to its original length. When the weight of the extra length was removed the natural wave in Squall's hair suddenly appeared. The colour she could do nothing about but when she brushed out the last cut hairs, Quistis fell back against the wall in surprised shock.

She couldn't speak. He looked so much like she remembered it hurt. All Quistis could do was point to the mirror on the medicine cabinet.

Squall stood on shaky legs. He had seen his battered reflection many times since waking up in Garden. He'd been a mess and unrecognisable even to his own eyes; suddenly it was entirely plausible for Mrs Dincht and even Rinoa not to know him straight away.

Now, he looked like he thought he should. His face was clean shaven and healthy looking, if still a little thin. His hair needed some time to recover but it was in the style he usually had it, with the tips just waving over his forehead. The sight made him smile so wide it hurt. Absently he brushed at a few stray hairs sticking to his shoulders.

"I wanted to show you your real face." Quistis said quietly.

When Squall abruptly turned and scooped her up in a bone-crushing hug, Quistis almost forgot where she was. Squall had never, _never_, been so openly affectionate in his entire life. Once again she was left with the sickening realisation of the level of torture it must have taken to reduce him to such a turning-point.

The door swung open with negligent ease and Quistis leapt from Squall's arms so fast she hit her head on the wall. Rinoa was in the door way with her SeeD shirt hanging loosely open. The white shirt beneath was slightly darker between her breasts with sweat.

She blinked slowly. Stuttered. "Sorry… The door was open."

Her gaze fixed on Squall; the face she now remembered. She ached to go up to him, to map out the planes of that face with her fingertips and compare the reality with her memory. He was as beautiful now as he had been all those years ago.

"I'll leave you two alone." She muttered instead, retreating quickly.

"'Noa, wait!" Quistis started but Squall held her back and shook his head. To run after how now would lead them into a fight Rinoa didn't believe in. She would yell at Quistis and say things she didn't mean; accuse of her overstepping her bounds and question her intentions. It was best to let Rinoa cool off before going after her and they both knew it.

'_She knows you're trying to help.'_

"I'm just… I don't want her to think…" She babbled helplessly. "You and I… We're not. I don't-"

Squall smiled and nodded his head in understanding.

'_When she's ready to talk about it, she'll come to you. You know she will.'_

Quistis sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. A headache was swelling from where she'd hit her head. "Let's get you back to the infirmary. And me some painkillers." She added with a wry smile.

--

Rinoa hastily drew her training shirt back on and ran down the dormitory steps out into the corridors. The image of Squall half naked and in Quistis' arms was burned into her eyelids. Horrible anger scorched her insides as she thought up one nasty scenario after the other; how long had they been sneaking around behind her back? Had Quistis just been waiting for their relationship to break down so she could claim Squall back? Had all the advice and support she'd given over the years been just an act?

The thoughts made her sick and angry. But then she deflated, realising what an idiot she was. There was no way Quistis would do that. She was helping Squall and that was more than Rinoa could say she herself was doing. She could barely stand to stay in the same room as Squall. He needed someone and if it couldn't be her then she was at least glad it was someone like Quistis.

And if what she had seen in the bathroom was the start of something, then who was she to stand in the way?

"Rinoa!"

Ethan was running up to her with a smile on his face. When he was within reach he picked her up and swirled her around. "I did it!" He crowed, dropping her down and placing his hands on her face with a radiant smile. "I passed the test."

It took a moment for comprehension to dawn on her. "You pass-… You passed? You're an A rank!"

He nodded his head almost violently, still framing Rinoa's face with his hands. Thick hair bounced in his eyes as he moved. Without warning he lifted her off the floor again with negligent ease. "We're celebrating. Now."

Unable to do anything but grin back at him, she couldn't prevent being hoisted over his shoulder. She screamed half in delight and half in terror as he broke into a jog. The ride was uncomfortable and she would just as soon have run beside him but his exuberance was like a stiff wind and she just a tiny tree.

"You don't have lessons or anything tomorrow, do you?" He called over his shoulder.

The thudding of his shoulder into her stomach made it difficult to talk but she managed a breathless, "No!"

"Good!" He declared.

Rinoa realised too late why he had asked the question. Before she could make any kind of protest Ethan had unceremoniously thrown her from his shoulder and into the main waterway pool at the entrance to Garden. The water came up around her head and in a moment of panic her limbs just flailed uselessly. The water was freezing and she went under, all the way. She stumbled and managed to kick off from the bottom as Ethan jumped in after her.

Ethan was beaming out from under his shaggy wet hair when he surfaced. He could hear wings again; powerful feathers beating against the wind in rhythmic flight. Rinoa looked at him entirely murderous but undeterred, encouraged by the pulsing wings, he grabbed her roughly about the waist and kissed her desperately hard.

She wilted instantly. The passion which he infused into their kiss was stripping her anger. Not ever could Rinoa remember someone showing her how nakedly they wanted her and it was intoxicating. She gripped at Ethan's wet uniform and tugged him close. Her breath had stalled and she couldn't breathe under the demanding roughness of his lips on hers. An embarrassing groan inched up her throat when Ethan's fingers fisted her hair.

The roaring in her ears was back. Loud and fierce, she could swear it was angry and wounded. Like always she ignored it and the longer she kissed Ethan the quieter it grew. She even thought she heard another sound beginning to replace it; steel striking stone, like a hammer on an anvil. No… Rinoa placed her hand over Ethan's chest, felt the thundering of his heart under her fingertips.

She could hear hoof-beats.

_**Aurora**_

_DaughterofSorceress-Lion – Happiness all round! Little update the other day and proper chapter today. Enjoy!_

_KenshinGoku – I'm sorry you have to be so patient with me. I hate being patient. I am not a patient person so already you're a saint in my eyes. Here is your next chapter as just reward. Know that the next is already underway and as always, I will have it out to you as soon as I can. Little bit of Squall and the others in this, even if they were unknowing. Soon, we'll have the real family reunion!_

_Natalie – You're more than welcome. You're more dedicated than I have given you reason to be and I can only thank you for that. Here's a chapter and I hope you enjoy what it contains and what it promises. See you again soon!_

_Freyjadour – Aye, there was nowhere to fit that little snippet. Yet I felt it was too important to just miss out. So it goes into the middle of the two sections. Hopefully it works!_

_Thanks to all those who R&R'd! See you all for the next instalment._


	16. Shattered Knights, Stay Thy Course

_**Shattered Knights – Stay Thy Course**_

Persistent sunlight slanted through the open curtains. As the morning hour crept on, the light moved directly into Rinoa's eyes. She groaned softly, fighting back against wakefulness. She could not recall being so relaxed in a long time and she wanted nothing to banish it.

When her eyes did flutter open she noticed immediately she wasn't in her own room. Nor was she in her bed; or her own clothes. Panic ricocheted through her frame and she jerked violently, disturbing the sleeping form next to her.

"Rinoa, you okay?" Ethan mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

The sorceress swallowed heavily, hot shame racing up her neck.

The previous night came back in a rush. She remembered the kiss they'd shared in the waterways; the taste of cool water mixing with sweat. The moment had been hot and delicious and it had lasted longer than it should have. She'd pulled back with an apologetic smile. Ethan just continued to grin broadly and that had somehow been more painful to endure than if he'd been upset with her reluctance. Instead he'd grasped her hand and pulled them both from the water. Dripping everywhere they ran back to his dormitory.

Here Rinoa remembered where her clothes were; hanging-up in the shared bathroom. She had felt too uncomfortable to go back to her own apartment. Quistis would want to talk and she wasn't ready for that. And Squall would be everywhere and she couldn't deal with that either.

So changing into dry clothes in the bathroom, Rinoa had joined Ethan a moment later in his room. Long moments passed where the awkwardness of their situation made it impossible to speak.

"I'll sleep on the floor." Ethan said, moving to let Rinoa pass him in the small space.

"But this is your room." She protested. "And you can't sleep on the floor."

"You're the senior rank, Instructor." He smirked, earning a smile from Rinoa.

Nervously she pushed damp strands of hair from her face. "We could share…"

And they had. The awkward moments of positioning themselves in the tiny space had been so bad she'd almost laughed. She felt ashamed at how quickly and easily she fell asleep next to Ethan. Even now, fully awake and understanding her situation, she couldn't help but feel like a bit of a tease. And an utter cretin.

Ethan was now waking properly too. His hair was mussed from sleeping and Rinoa fancied her own hair was in similar disarray. She even found the sight of him so dishevelled appealing.

"I should probably get back." Rinoa muttered lamely, extracting her leg from between his with as much nonchalance as possible. It wasn't easy and she was sure her face was turning beet-red.

Ethan halted her escape with a gentle but firm grip on her wrist. "There was something I wanted… Rinoa…" He swallowed and she realised perhaps she wasn't the only one feeling acutely uncomfortable with this situation. It made her relax a little. "I need to tell you something."

All Rinoa could do was shakily nod her head. The seriousness in Ethan's eyes was arresting.

"There's something about you…" He started, still looking right at her. "It sounds really bad when I say it like this, but I can't stop thinking about you. I can be doing nothing and then all of a sudden, I'll find myself on the other side of Garden and there you are; I walk to wherever you are without even thinking about it."

The confusion and worry clearly shining out from Ethan's blue eyes was so honest. "When I do think about you," he continued. "I can hear this-."

"The wings." Rinoa interrupted. He had mentioned it before, at the fountain, what felt like a lifetime ago. She had forgotten about it. Her own thoughts tumbled forward and she wondered if the roaring in her ears whenever she was close to Ethan had something to do with him hearing wings.

"They're getting louder." He said. "When you're close, I can't hear anything else…"

"It feels good." Rinoa whispered. Ethan dipped his head, almost as if he was ashamed. She took a deep breath. "Ethan…"

Could she tell him she was the sorceress? It was likely that the wings he heard were something to do with her powers but she couldn't be sure. Rinoa had her suspicions but not even she could believe she was developing a second bond to another man.

Squall had left a long time ago and their connection had all but severed. There was no ignoring the symbolism in the noises however; the roaring of a lion could only be Squall's fractured presence in her soul. Its fading attested to that. Despite being closer physically than they had in years, Rinoa felt Squall was still oceans away. The realisation made her ache from longing.

Now Ethan was getting closer to her, albeit slowly. She resisted him because that was what she believed she should do. She harboured no illusions she and Squall would ever work out what had come between them. Even if they did, it couldn't rid the demons they would both carry for the remainder of their lives. But it still felt wrong to surrender to Ethan and the force that was trying to bind them together.

For the first time, Rinoa wondered if it _would_ be wrong.

Rinoa smiled as gently as she could. She needed guidance before she could reveal anything. "Ethan, there's a lot you don't know about me… I need to make sure things will be okay before I tell you anything more. Do you understand?"

Ethan smiled and Rinoa didn't know if that meant he did or not. When he reached for her she kissed him softly, another slip of tension vanishing from her spirit.

--

Selphie bounced on her toes as the elevator continued rising to the Commander's office. She had received another posting from the Garden Masters and she would be leaving in a few short days. She wouldn't be allowed to say where but before she left, there was something Selphie needed to share with Quistis; a revelation she had about the catastrophe at Deling.

The carriage doors slid open with a soft whoosh and Selphie continued her animated bounce down the corridor. Robert, Quistis' assistant, was shuffling paper on his desk. When she entered the young cadet looked up at her with a smile.

"Officer Tilmitt; what can I do for you today?"

"Hey Robert." She waved, seating herself on the edge of his desk. Her legs swung back and forth. "Is the Commander in?"

Completely accustomed to the way Selphie comported herself around Garden, professional yet undeniably innocent, Robert didn't take any notice to the woman perched on his desk. He did however reposition his coffee cup before speaking. "I'm afraid not. Commander Trepe took the afternoon to herself again."

"Rats. You know where she went?"

"I believe the infirmary. She did say she didn't want to be disturbed, so if it can wait, I would suggest that you do, ma'am."

Selphie grinned. "Robert, it's _Selphie_. Can we do without the whole 'ma'am' thing? You make me feel weird."

"Sorry." He said with a grin. "Ma'am."

"Fine, fine." Selphie muttered. She jumped from the desk and landed at attention. She saluted. "At ease, cadet!"

They both laughed before Selphie practically skipped back to the elevator. During the journey down Selphie considered her options. Quistis' had taken some personal time and that definitely meant she didn't want to talk about work. But Deling was linked to Rinoa's safety and Selphie was positive that if Quistis ever found out she had delayed in relaying the information, the consequences would be even worse than interruption.

Vowing to stay only as long as necessary, Selphie jogged down the marble steps to the infirmary exit-way.

The last thing she expected to hear when she entered the infirmary was laughter. Not knowing what Quistis would be doing spending her personal time in the wards made the moment even more confusing. Yet her laugh was unmistakable. Selphie couldn't recall the last time her old friend had laughed so effortlessly.

Selphie waited round the corner of the occupied room for a while. Kadowaki and Quistis were laughing like school children. She recalled they used to play Triple Triad together a lot and she supposed it wouldn't be a huge leap that they'd become good friends in the process.

"Don't think Tall, Dark and Handsome here is going to protect you from a good dressing down. One more word about my bedside manner and I'll have you locked up in the funny-house; don't think for one moment I won't!" Kadowaki threatened, still laughing.

Selphie scrunched her face in confusion; there was someone else in the room with them, a male by all accounts, but she could hear no third voice. And who was Quistis so free and easy with that addressing them as 'Tall, Dark and Handsome' didn't even make her remotely uncomfortable. Curiosity won out and before she could be caught eavesdropping she rounded the cubicle.

The sight that greeted her was like something out of a dream.

"Oh gosh…" She murmured. Before she could even stop herself she was walking across the room, enthralled. Squall stood facing her, a smile quickly dropping from his face at her sudden appearance.

Selphie didn't stop advancing until she was practically chest to chest with her former Commander; her former friend. He was thin and pale, grey wisps of hair floating over his face. But it was him and suddenly higher thought processes became impossible. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her voice was so quiet; so uncertain.

"Is it really you…?"

Squall nodded his head once, slowly, never taking his eyes from Selphie's face. She looked up at him in wonderment.

Selphie was instantaneously flooded with relief and confusion. So torn she thumped Squall in the chest and then jumped into his arms. "We missed you!" She muffled into his shirt, feeling his arms tighten around her smaller body. She was reluctant to let go, lest he disappear. But questions were bubbling up inside her and they would not be squashed. She pulled back almost violently.

"Where have you been? How long have you been back?" Her arms were gesturing wildly. "How long were you just going to hide down here before you came to see us? What happened; you didn't write or anything!"

"Selphie!" Quistis shouted over the clamour, drawing the young woman towards her. "Selphie, not so loud." She looked painfully at Squall, at the regret etched clearly in the lines of his face. "He can't talk to you…"

"Why not?" Selphie asked hotly, turning on Squall with her hands on her hips.

"He can't talk at all, honey." Kadowaki soothed.

"Not at all?" Selphie's voice had dropped again to a subdued whisper.

Squall shook his head solemnly. _'It's good to see you, Selphie…'_

"Wait!" Selphie's gaze whipped between the three of them. "Does Rinoa know you're here?"

"She knows, Selphie." Quistis assured her. "She was the one that found him."

"Found him?"

Kadowaki cleared her throat. "Perhaps this is a conversation best for _everyone_ to be involved in?"

Quistis bit her lip uncertainly. She knew the time would come when they would have to reveal Squall's presence to his old friends, and to Garden at large. The knowledge had loomed large every passing day. It kept her awake some nights, wondering what the others would say.

"We have to tell the others." Selphie declared. "They can't not know about this." She looked up at Squall and fought hard the urge to hug him again. She had not forgotten his past transgressions but in the grand scheme it didn't matter as much as she thought it might. All that mattered was he was home and the others had to know that too. From the look of him, Selphie was almost certain Squall had is own story to tell.

Squall placed a hand on Quistis' shoulder, tried to convey what he wanted to say in expression alone. _'It's time…'_

"Are you sure?" Things would undoubtedly become more complicated when his identity was revealed. Were they strong enough to face that yet?

'_I'm sure.'_

--

Rinoa looked at her watch again. Time had halted. Since Quistis' request to meet in her office reality had ground to a stand-still. She could imagine what the request was concerning and she fully deserved the action her superior would take. Looking back, Rinoa couldn't fathom what had come over her. She knew better than to break decorum, not only by spending the night in someone else's quarters but her reckless behaviour beforehand.

Yet it didn't matter. Rinoa would just wait for Quistis to say her peace and then launch into her own problems. She needed guidance; she needed a friend. An apology was due first and that would be the easy part, then she would plunge into her dilemma. She only hoped her friend would be able to help.

She would speak to Zell too. Both would give a different kind of advice; Quistis would be logical and Zell would be emotional. Any decision she made on Ethan had to include both.

The door swung open, pulling Rinoa from her deliberations. Quistis marched in with Robert tailing closely. With a docket pressed to her face she didn't notice Rinoa until she was already seated at her desk.

"Rinoa?" She asked, slightly confused. "You're not due here for another hour."

"I know. But I needed to speak to you."

Rinoa glanced at Robert and back to Quistis imploringly. Robert was quickly dismissed.

"Are you okay?" Quistis asked first. Rinoa felt her stomach clench at the sincerity; after the way she had acted last night she didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry." She offered. "I didn't mean to just run out like that last night. I was just surprised to see him there… With you."

Quistis smiled gently. "I was cutting his hair, Rinoa. I would never, _never_, do something like that to you." She rose from her desk and came to the woman sitting opposite. "There might have been feelings like that on my part years ago but Squall is always going to be yours."

"I know. I know. It was just a shock and my head isn't with me lately." Rinoa smiled lamely. The comment about Squall being 'hers' was nauseating. She took a deep breath to gather her wits. There was so much to explain and none of it made any sense.

Quistis had lived with Rinoa for a long time. She knew things about her that no other did; how she always screwed her brows together when thinking what to say; how she chewed her lips when nervous and tapped her foot. She was doing all three.

"Rinoa, you know you can tell me anything… I wanted to come after you last night but I didn't want to push. When you didn't come home, I was worried."

"I was with Ethan." Rinoa blurted. She hung her head in her hands almost instantly, groaning loudly. "I mean, I was with him but I wasn't _with_ him." Words were not coming to her easily these days. "He passed his A-Rank exam and he was in such a good mood that he made me feel better, just being around him. I've been so messed up lately and I needed that."

"I did see some interesting security footage this morning." Quistis smirked. She was trying to be jovial but Squall's face was haunting her and every time she tried to be light-hearted, his pained expression would appear; as if she were some how betraying him by sanctioning Rinoa's behaviour with Ethan.

Rinoa couldn't find the will to smile back. "And I know I'm in trouble for that. I shouldn't have been so stupid."

"But you were happy." Her friend said gently. "It's okay that you find happiness with someone other than your friends. His distance from all this is probably liberating."

Rinoa couldn't speak past the knot in her throat. Her hands were shaking and the room was beginning to spin.

Quistis looked at her and then suddenly her face went ashen. "It's more than that…" She whispered, confirming Rinoa's hesitation and her own deep-seated fears.

"I think…" Rinoa looked so ashamed of herself she had to hide again behind her hands. "I think we're…"

She couldn't even say the words. For all the emotions she felt that confirmed her connection to Squall was dying and a new one with Ethan was springing up in its wake, she could not give voice to it.

Quistis stood slowly. The ramifications of Rinoa's unsaid confession were huge. "What about Squall…?"

Rinoa's eyes were shinning with unshed tears. "I don't know. I loved him once; I loved him so much it nearly killed me to lose him. But, Ethan… He makes me feel alive again. I might never love him as much as I did Squall, but even that feels like a good thing. He pulls me in and I can _feel_ the connection building." Her voice was cracking in its desperation. "I need someone, Quistis. I need someone to help me contain all this power because right now, I don't think I can hold it all in. I'm getting stronger and I don't like it…"

"And do you really believe Ethan would serve you as a knight?"

"I don't know… I just know he feels my powers too."

Quistis withdrew to her desk and quickly pulled a folder from the locked top drawer. With a slightly unsteady hand she gave the file over to Rinoa. "I've been collecting this data for quite a while now…" She explained, patiently waiting for Rinoa to see what was being illustrated.

"You've been watching me…" Rinoa gasped a moment later, reading time stamps and dates. She flipped a few pages on and found a collection of charts, one particularly that summarised the rest. Her eyes widened and she looked up at Quistis in disbelief. "This has to be a mistake."

"No mistake. Your magic has been increasing in strength for months now." Quistis impressed the enormity of the situation. "Zell and I looked into the magical disturbances after it was confirmed the Training Centre sensors were not faulty. We thought someone was channelling low-level GF, Rinoa! Your magic is so strong it's like you're focussing the powers of each sorceress legacy that eventually made it to you."

Rinoa looked up at Quistis. She felt strangely removed from the moment. "And it's still growing…"

The older woman nodded, almost pleadingly. "When Ethan turned up we thought maybe… We thought something like this would happen. It needs to happen Rinoa; you need a knight to contain this. I just thought that now Squall…"

Rinoa shook her head. "I don't know if I can find the strength to trust him again … And I can't have a knight I don't trust."

She wanted to be sick. Without Ethan to wash away the sensation Rinoa could _feel_ Squall. He was near and knowingly or not, he was calling to her. The steady heartbeat that mirrored her own and could build to such a crescendo it was deafening was still there. Only Ethan's presence could drown out her lion so completely. And she was letting him because she'd learned that loving Squall was just one heartbreak after another. She was only human.

She didn't even know if Squall even loved _her_ anymore…

"Then accept Ethan." Quistis said. "It'll be hard and not everyone will understand but you have to do what's best."

"How do I know if Ethan is the best thing for me? What if I make a mistake?"

Quistis smiled despite how torn she was feeling. She scooped Rinoa up in her arms for long moments, hoping to convey her unwavering support through the contact; even if she didn't know what direction she should be guiding her sorceress. Rinoa blessedly hugged her back. When she drew back, they both looked on the verge of tears.

"Follow your instincts Rinoa. No matter what, we will be here to help you. We _all_ will."

--

Selphie glanced nervously at Dr. Kadowaki. Squall was taking a long time. She wanted to go retrieve the man herself but the good doctor was almost physically restraining her. The others were already waiting in Quistis' office and no doubt getting impatient as to why. She didn't want Squall arriving to any more tension than necessary.

Kadowaki inclined her head toward the corridor and Selphie looked up in relief, watching Squall's slow advancement.

He was moving as if he didn't trust his legs not to give way. Selphie resisted the urge to offer her arm, already knowing it would not be accepted. When her friend made it to the lobby, Kadowaki offered up his cane; which he also refused.

"You shouldn't be walking without it at the moment." The doctor admonished, holding it out again. Squall simply didn't take it from her. With a poignant look at Selphie he allowed the smaller woman to escort him from the infirmary.

The walk to the elevator was torturously long. Selphie had eventually taken his arm to both steady and speed his pace and Squall could feel her shaking. She was so nervous it sealed her lips shut. She couldn't even bring herself to smile. Her attention was focussed on their path and her jaw twitched with tension. Squall thought she would probably vomit if she opened her mouth.

'_It'll work out… Even if they hate me. It'll work out, Selphie.'_ He tried to convey that to her with a gentle squeeze. She could only look up at him sorrowfully, managing a tremulous smile.

The next few moments of his life would number among the longest of his life. He couldn't recall being this afraid when he'd left Garden years ago. When they finally made it to the office door, mercifully shut and foyer empty, Selphie looked at him again. She hugged him tight and he returned the gesture.

"I know you can't say anything. But I want you to know, no matter what happens, I don't think you left because you wanted to…"

The joy that coursed through his being in that very moment was so powerful Squall could do nothing but grab Selphie by her shoulders and hug her tight, kissing her tenderly on the forehead. Of all his friends, Selphie would always be the one to forgive and forget first. It was not in her nature to hold a grudge and she always saw the best in people. She was also the keenest of them; able to see things in people others could not. Squall hoped that she didn't _think _he left for a reason; he hoped she _believed_ he did.

Because he had; he left for the most important reason imaginable. Much as he had yet to explain the full details to anyone, not even Quistis, he _had_ said it wasn't by choice he'd left them. He knew Quistis had her own ideas as to what he had been through. For the most part he tried to forget it. He knew however that he would never be able to write down the details of his incarceration. He needed to wait for his voice to relay those nightmares.

At the moment he didn't even know what he would say if had voice to. He hadn't been aware of the purpose of the research. All he could say is that they had needed him. And somehow, Rinoa was still in danger.

When this moment was over, he would need to try and get that message to her; to all of them.

Selphie extricated herself from Squall's arms with difficulty. She wasn't used to him being so open and it was a little disconcerting. "Let's get this show on the road, yeah?"

Squall nodded eagerly, buoyed by Selphie's sheer spirit. He waited in the foyer while she went ahead, leaving the door ajar slightly so he could hear the voices within. Immediately everyone started talking.

"The hell you been, Selph?" Zell demanded.

Selphie took a breath, one Squall could hear out in the waiting area. "I went to get the reason we're all here." She said. He could imagine her looking uncertainly at Rinoa and Quistis who he knew were both waiting in the office with Zell and Irvine.

His stomach rolled. His first step forward was unsteady and he had to stop to keep his balance. After all the long years of being a puppet and plaything of Brogue, hungering to see his friends and home again, Squall couldn't fathom his hesitation now.

When he slowly inched the door open, keeping his head low, he felt bile rising in his throat. His chest was tight and his hands were sweating. Silence had descended in the little room and he had the impression of walking into a minefield.

He lifted his head and the two remaining members of his old team that were not already aware of his return could only stare. Squall could do nothing but stand just inside the entrance and wait for them to say something. For the first time he was truly grateful he couldn't say a word.

Selphie inched closer to Irvine and took his hand. It didn't break his gaze.

Rinoa was with Zell, stood just behind his shoulder. She looked only at her friend, a man she now considered her brother, watching for his reaction. Squall's heart leapt painfully just at seeing her so close.

Zell was the first to move. His steps were halting, like the floor was moving. He stopped in front of Squall and looked him up and down. Squall tried his damndest to read the expression on the other man's face but it was impossible.

"Is it really him?" Irvine asked quietly.

Rinoa, amazingly, was the one that answered. "It's really him." Her voice was wounded.

Zell seemed to flinch at the tone of her voice. Before anyone could register the move, he lashed out and punched Squall scare across the jaw. The sound of stacked fist meeting bone echoed through the tiny office. By the time Squall had hit the floor Zell was looming over him.

"You got some fucking nerve, man." He spat, storming out of the office.

Selphie rushed to Squall and Rinoa sprinted after Zell.

--

The Sorceress Memorial complex was just South of Esthar City. Since the end of the Second Sorceress War, security had been lax; almost non-existent. No one worked in the labs anymore and the building had become nothing but a derelict monument of history. With no Sorceress known to the world it was decommissioned and monetary input halted.

It was perfect.

Deep beneath the ground, buried right under Esthar's nose, the Knight programme was still running. In the quiet labs where the only noise came from the whirring of computer banks, Lieutenant Brogue sat alone, coffee mug in one hand an open manila in the other.

The coffee had long gone cold and the report was nothing out of the ordinary. It did hint at something interesting however; something that might be changing.

Squall had made it home, much to the amazement of Brogue, and was recuperating slowly at Garden. Yet the very reason for his incarceration, the bond he shared with Sorceress Rinoa, was not improving as they expected. Instead, another was replacing it.

Far from being a problem, Brogue suspected his task was going to become a great deal easier with Squall out of the way.

_**Aurora**_

_KenshinGoku – Aurora has always been my name but I've never been able to use it on FanFiction for some reason. I periodically kept trying to change it and this time it happened! I was so pleased. I'm sorry if it's confused a lot of people. How was that for your family reunion? Zell could have been a little less physical in his greeting but I think it worked. *g* The two month jump was a necessity really, to put some meat back on Squall's bones. The story would be too slow otherwise. At the moment she does seem to be swaying in Ethan's direction but can you really blame the girl?_

_Garnet Heart – It's always nice to get a new reviewer! Thanks for taking the time. I'm sorry updates have been non-existent until now. Really hectic time recently. Final Fantasy VIII was one of my favourites too so I'm glad I can make a fic you enjoy so much. Thank you.  
It would have been very easy to over-do the drama and I think, for myself at least, I was beginning to feel the pressure of it. I hope the moments I'm introducing now are a good off-set. Too much drama just becomes unbelievable and boring. It also becomes for it to be outweighed by the good stuff.  
A few more snatches of Ethan in this one and in the next few chapters. And Brogue has made a reappearance; seems he doesn't think Ethan's too good to be true at all._

_chrisVIII – The bathroom was such a great scene. I love little cliché's like that. I never get tired of it. Which is perhaps why I'm such a sucker for this game. Poor Rinoa doesn't know if she's coming or going at the moment and Ethan only seems to make that confusion worse. She is making a decision about him though._

_Natalie – I'm glad I could bring out a smile. I really enjoyed writing the little scenes of each of the characters; Selphie and Irvine in the gardens particularly. I think of all things Rinoa was expecting when she walked into her own bathroom, a shirtless Squall and flustered Quistis was not it. I think the girl can be afforded a little slack on that one. Squall's friendships with the others really should start to come out now. He can't afford to be the man he used to be; he's going to have to rely on all of them to protect Rinoa. That should bring the others into the light a little and we'll see more of the other characters._

_Thanks again to all those out there along for the ride! See you all again soon._


	17. Shattered Knights, Dilemma

_**Shattered Knights – Dilemma**_

Squall felt the cool carpet press to his face and it helped to steady the rocking of his head. Hot blood filled his mouth. He could hear the mingled, panicked, voices of the others floating above his head. Quistis' desk was a brown blur against the bright backdrop of the window. Indistinct colours floated about the room; yellow and orange he identified as the bodies of his friends.

"Squall, you okay?" Selphie asked, slipping her arms under his and pulling him into a seated position. Her face swirled into a recognisable image.

'_I probably deserved that.'_

Selphie pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and pressed it to the corner of Squall's mouth, staunching the blood flow. She smiled at him gently, as if apologising.

With help from Quistis and Selphie, Squall rose to his feet again. Irvine was still looking at him, saying nothing. When they locked eyes, Squall couldn't read the other man's expression. Inwardly he readied himself for another punch.

"This isn't a coincidence." Irvine finally said, warily watching Squall drop down into a seat.

Squall shook his head, though he couldn't explain to them why. His sudden relief at apparent violence being over robbed the last of his strength.

"Most likely not." Quistis agreed. "Partly it's the reason I asked you all here today. Selphie thinks she may have found something from the Deling security footage."

"Guess we'll just have to fill the others in later." Selphie shrugged, hopping up onto Quistis' desk. The two women shared a concerned glance. They would need to bring Zell round to helping them somehow, even if they couldn't trust him alone with Squall. Guiltily, they didn't think Zell had acted too wildly out of turn.

Irvine shook his head and removed his hat. After a thought he took off his jacket too. He looked at Squall. "Someone start from the beginning. I feel like I walked in on a movie right at the end."

Quistis crossed the room to close her office door. She used the time to gather her thoughts. The story she had to tell was not an easy one. She would tell it to the best of her ability however. There were still parts missing; things she could only guess at. She only hoped Irvine would come around. The team was divided and that would do none of them any good in the coming trials.

"Do you remember the beach?" Quistis started, taking off her glasses and resting them on her desk. "After the Deling conference? The body on the beach…?"

"That was you?" Irvine accused, looking at Squall.

"The fisherman handed him over to Zell's mother. He hasn't said how he ultimately ended up on Balamb beach but after recovering enough to get about, Squall came here."

Irvine looked sharply at Quistis. "What do you mean 'he hasn't said'?"

Quistis looked at Squall's face that had suddenly gone too pale. She suspected that even if Squall could talk to properly communicate what had happened in the three years of his absence, he wouldn't. Her own instincts told her it was unlikely to be anything he ever completely divulged. She had seen the abuse on his body and the psychological trouble it had since left him with; the truth about his disappearance would likely follow Squall to his grave. She wanted to commend him for that attitude; still wishing to protect them all. She wanted to hit him for it too.

"I doubt it's something he could just write down and at the moment he can't speak." Quistis sidestepped. Irvine was not an idiot and likely to pick up on the same thoughts as she. She hoped, like herself, he would learn to accept Squall's reasoning. "When he arrived at Garden, despite Mrs Dincht's help, Squall was still very weak."

"There was an accident…" She halted, squashing the panic that came with just the memory of how close Squall had come to leaving them again; permanently. "Rinoa was training and Squall was caught in the cross-fire. She took him to Dr. Kadowaki and we've been hiding him in the infirmary for approximately two months. We wanted to give him the chance to heal before telling anyone he was here."

"And we're sure he's not some Galbadian puppet?" Irvine asked, uncaring of the offended look that came across Squall's face. "Sorry man but Zell's got a point; you can't just leave and come back to roses and sunshine."

"He would never do that." Selphie said earnestly. "Squall would never sell Rinoa out, or us. No matter what."

Quistis smiled. "I agree."

"For the record, I don't think so either." Irvine tried to sound as genuine as possible. "I only say it because it's got to be said. There's gonna be a lot of people asking the same question when news gets out."

Squall nodded his head. He knew he would be under a lot of fire and there was little anyone could do to protect him from the blowback; especially where Garden was concerned. He could face them but he would need as many of his friends as possible, much as he knew he didn't deserve their faith. Rinoa would need them, whether she knew that or not.

"But I am thinking the two are connected." Selphie added a minute later. "I don't think you've got anything to do with it Squall, but something isn't right about you getting back to us just now."

"You said something came up in Deling?" Quistis prompted.

"I didn't find anything at the scene." She started. "Rinoa really levelled that place with her last Ultima spell."

Squall put a hand up to stall Selphie's words. His lips moved but nothing came out. The concern on his face, the unspoken horror, was plain for them all to see.

"Rinoa's magic has been getting stronger…" Quistis supplied carefully. "The ability to channel Ultima seems to be a latent gift from Ultimecia and combined with Rinoa's capacity for emotion…"

'_She's a living weapon…'_

Selphie's voice was quiet. "No one but us made it out." The memory of all the dead at Deling gave her nightmares. The charred remains of uniforms, weapons and bones had been everywhere. The arm of a woman had been reaching out as if to shield herself from the coming destructive force, frozen into place as she'd been roasted alive. No one had escaped Rinoa's reach.

"I wasn't there but I know she wouldn't have done anything so drastic if she didn't have to. Rinoa's not like that." Irvine added, taking Selphie's hand to steady her. Many nights he had woken to Selphie's thrashing. The unspoken horror that caused her to scream and sweat in her dreams scared even him. All he could do in those moments was take her in his arms and hold her until she calmed. Sometimes, she never did.

"No one is saying Rinoa is dangerous…" Quistis swallowed thickly. "But to those who don't know her… She could _look_ like the next Adel."

'_She needs a knight. A real one.'_

Selphie cleared her throat pointedly. "There was nothing in Deling. But I requested the security footage and it came through yesterday." She pulled a face. "The Galbadian military really sucks."

All of them suddenly laughed. Squall smiled at Selphie, ever grateful for her happy-go-lucky spirit.

"So what did the tapes show, Selph?"

"Well, you know how there were a bunch of Esthar soldiers with Laguna?" Selphie asked, continuing with a few nods of agreement from the others. "They kinda just vanished halfway through the meeting."

Quistis furrowed her brows. "Vanished?"

"Yeah, like they were ordered to leave or something." Selphie rushed to continue before the questions could cut her off. "I didn't see where the shot came from that got Rinoa but when things kicked off, there were no soldiers from Esthar in the room."

Irvine looked more than a little uncomfortable. He scraped a hand down his face and paced the room. "But Esthar _knows_ about Rinoa."

Selphie swallowed. "Yeah… I don't get it either."

--

Zell was already down the marble steps and headed out to the forecourt when Rinoa caught up to him. His whole body shook with barely suppressed rage. When Rinoa touched his shoulder the force he brushed her off with was enough to cause her to stagger back.

He rounded on her, ready to shout and scream and rail. At the sight of her, he just deflated. He couldn't, much as he wanted to, be angry.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He growled between clenched teeth.

Rinoa knew better than anyone the pain Squall's disappearance had caused Zell; caused them both. Zell had looked up to Squall more than he had anyone in his life. More than the pride of being able to number himself among those who had defeated Ultimecia, the simple honour of being Squall's friend had been his most treasured position. Squall had taught him a great many things about the kind of man he wanted to be. He'd shown him how it was possible for a man to hold his place against the world.

As Rinoa's knight, Squall had been a hero. Zell had known a real hero. He had modelled himself on those actions, hoping one day to possess in himself those qualities that made Squall so dauntless. He looked up to Squall as much as he did his Grandfather.

Then he left. All Zell held to be true about the world from that point had been destroyed.

"Zell, I'm sorry!" Rinoa sobbed, watching him retreat once more. "I never meant to hide anything from you."

"But you did, 'Noa." He rasped, stopping but not coming back.

Zell took a deep, anchoring breath. His knuckles throbbed as a reminder of the damage he had done to the focus of his rage. Surprisingly it didn't make him feel any better. If anything it made him feel worse.

"I thought I'd never see him again…" Rinoa whispered, slipping down on the last of the forecourt steps. "Then he was there, like something out of a dream." She smiled, eyes shinning brightly. "For a second I just wanted him to hold me and tell me he was sorry and he was back and he'd never leave me again." She laughed at her own words; a horrible dark, twisted laugh. "But I stabbed him didn't I and all I could do was watch him bleed all over the place.

"It felt like revenge and I wanted to puke. I was so mad I couldn't even stay to help him get better." Tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. She sniffed painfully and the air crackled with her emotions. "I've barely spoken to him in the whole time he's been here."

Zell turned, his own face contorted tightly to stop from crying. His anger swelled again; anger that Squall was still hurting Rinoa after all this time, and still hurting them all by coming back.

"How can you love someone and hate them at the same time?" Rinoa begged, ploughing her hands through her dark hair.

"You still love him?" Zell asked gently, dropping down beside her. He gently wiped at her tears with the pads of his thumbs.

Rinoa laughed again but it sounded more like anguish. "I'll always love him." She loved him desperately. The mere sight of him made her heart constrict painfully in her chest. She could still sense his closeness. When she looked in his eyes, all she could think to do was kiss him and hold him and kiss him; kiss him until she imploded.

"But you don't trust him."

She shook her head. Her love wasn't strong enough to overcome his betrayal. She knew he had been through his own troubles; she had seen the crippled state of his body first hand. Part of her took pleasure in knowing he'd suffered. All those years she had longed for him to come home had embittered her.

"You can't love someone you don't trust." Rinoa ended bitterly.

Another charge sliced through the air. The energy didn't manifest as magic but Zell could feel it; knew the tang of magic when it was being cultivated from the ether. Only Rinoa could do that. Only a sorceress could give birth to new magic.

Zell took in what Rinoa was saying. Some of her emotion mirrored his. But he didn't have to worry about his emotions taking shape and causing damage.

"What are you going to do?" He asked softly.

Rinoa sighed. "I don't know." She confessed. "I just know that Squall coming back… It doesn't change anything."

"You still need a knight." Zell said. He put his head in his hands.

It always came back to needing a knight. A sorceress fell to pieces without her knight. And she was falling apart. No one said as much and they were careful not say anything to her face but they had been watching her. That said it all.

"Want a job?" Rinoa snorted disdainfully.

Zell laughed but only a little. His voice was sincere when he spoke. "If only it were that easy, 'Noa."

"If only…"

"I would give my life for you, Rinoa." Zell said suddenly. He spoke to the ground because he didn't think his nerve would hold looking into her eyes. "I would take on the whole of Garden, the _world_, to keep you from harm. I won't ever be a knight to you because much as I love you, I love you like a little sister. I want to see you happy, Rinoa. If that means you gotta be with someone else, then I'm with you all the way. I _wish_ that could be enough, if only to keep you from all this…"

Silently, Rinoa rested her head against Zell's shoulder. His words, ones she had already known in heart, filled her with hope.

"If I took Ethan…" She said. Her voice trembled. "You would be okay with that? Because I'm scared…" She confessed, drawing her knees tightly to her chest. "I don't want to be like them, Zell. I _can't_ turn into a monster…"

Zell turned and held her tightly. "I won't let you, 'Noa. You'll never be like Adel or Ultimecia. You're too good for that."

Rinoa wanted to believe him, desperately. But he didn't understand the way magic made her feel. It filled a void she hadn't known existed until recently. Magic made her feel whole and she craved it like an addict. At the moment she could suppress the urge to really unleash her potential but it wouldn't last long. A storm was building and soon it would tear away the last of her restraint.

She had the potential to be a great sorceress. She had the potential to surpass even Ultimecia…

"I need a knight. I can't fight alone."

--

Squall wasn't listening to the others. His heart was pounding in his chest and a great swell of grief threatened to stall his breath. The emotion was not his own.

Rinoa was calling for him, whether she knew it or not.

He rose from his chair and suddenly all eyes turned on him.

"Where are you going?" Quistis asked, looking puzzled by his sudden animation. The look on his face spoke of urgency. There was only ever one reason for Squall to panic. With a sigh, she let him leave. "You need to be quick, whatever it is you're going to do. I have to inform Cid and the Garden Masters. They'll be coming for you Squall…"

'_To arrest me…'_ He took a deep breath, nodded once. Whatever time Quistis could give him, he would use to its fullest. Garden had a score to settle with its former Commander and he could not avoid that and stay close to Rinoa. A part of him also knew he deserved whatever punishment Garden saw fit to mete out; he left his post. Those in authority would not care for his excuses. Even if he could somehow convince them it had been for the best, doing so would reveal Rinoa's identity and that was not an option. Ever.

"We'll give Laguna a call, see if he knows anything about anything." Selphie added, including Irvine in the task. She offered a tremulous smile. "Don't worry, we won't say anything about… Anything about you."

Squall smiled gratefully and fled the office. He could sense Rinoa when she was highly emotional but the ability to locate her wherever had long since gone. Even months ago had been a stroke of luck.

He could only assess the situation logically; if Rinoa was upset there were only a handful of places she would go. The closest was the Training Centre and he didn't hesitate in making his way there. Hard, punishing exercise had been his own method of relief years ago. He remembered well the release that came with burning muscles and dirty hands. Becoming a SeeD had taught Rinoa the same kind of solace.

She had her back to him. Squall hesitated upon seeing her. The need for support was obvious; she broadcasted her emotions readily. But Squall wondered if it was really him she was calling for. His return hadn't prompted either of them into a reconciliation, much as he'd hoped for one. He didn't know if she would welcome his presence.

In the end, it didn't matter. Even if Rinoa didn't want him any longer, he would always be soul-bound to serve her. Squall could think of nothing that would make him stop caring for Rinoa; stop loving her.

He approached Rinoa carefully. The healing scar on his side was vivid reminder of the last time he'd snuck up on her. She turned long before he was within range, the Lionheart swinging wildly in a punishing arc. She stopped cold on seeing him.

Rinoa's face was red and streaked with drying tears. A spray of dirt plastered the one side of her face, clumping together loose tendrils of hair. Her uniform hung open with the white undershirt un-tucked. A sheen of sweat was gathering in the hollow of her collarbones.

She had never looked more beautiful. With the Lionheart braced in a firm grip, she also never looked more dangerous. The static feel to the air and acrid smell of ozone hinted at the raw power building in his sorceress.

Squall hesitated again, chancing a few steps forward. Rinoa didn't halt his movement but nor did she encourage it. When he stopped, he could smell the shampoo in her hair.

Silently, his pulse thundering in his ears, he reached down for Rinoa's hand that was wrapped about the hilt of the Lionheart. She gasped at the roughness of his hand on hers but didn't pull away. When he stepped in behind her, so close that his chest brushed against her back when he breathed, they both released a breath in unison.

He had once chance and for the first time in his life, Squall prayed to a higher power to grant him this moment, to bring Rinoa back from the brink. She didn't know how dangerously close to the edge she was swaying.

Rinoa's heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. A tumult of emotion rampaged on inside her. Squall's unexpected appearance only acerbated her confusion. Part of her wanted to brush him away and the other begged to have him closer. The desire to release her confusion in magic was dying down. It was still there but it compelled her less.

His hand on hers was all at once too much and not enough. Red hot fingers of need crawled along her arm and up her spine, making her shiver. The earthy smell of his body swamped her nose and she had to bite back a groan.

The gentle, soothing sound of a contented growl filled her head. The echo of hoofbeats which she had come to expect was absent.

Squall's hand tightened around her own and together they lifted the Lionheart so it was parallel to the floor. His other hand snaked around her waist to guide her other hand, joining the first on the blade grip. Unconsciously she leant back against him fully, aligning her body to his.

Squall moved her feet steadily, like he had always done when they danced. His lead had always been effortless to follow. They moved the Lionheart through one move after another, like a dance just for them. It moved gracefully and with purpose; none of the awkwardness Rinoa possessed when alone. Little clouds of dirt plumed around their shifting feet.

The staggered race of his breathing was making Rinoa dizzy. She could feel his heart pounding against her back and her own seemed to be racing, like they were chasing after each other. Much as she tried she could not will herself to calm down. She had thought this kind of connection beyond her now; the staggering, head-long tumble into a world of blinding beauty; a world where one man could effortlessly fall in love with one woman and share between them a singular kind of magic.

Yet here she was, confirming what she had known all along; it wasn't possible to stop loving Squall.

Their arms climbed higher and swept across their bodies in a block, only to swivel for a return pass and strike. The technique was well beyond Rinoa's own and she just let Squall carry her along for the ride. The blade then swept across the dirt-strewn metal floor and sparks fired in its wake. It completed its swing straight out in front and Squall's finger tightened over her own.

The one shot from the revolver, a single fire of pulse ammo, was enough to thrust her body back into his completely. The sound reverberated everywhere, like canon fire.

The Lionheart plummeted to the floor. Rinoa spun quickly, so fast Squall wrapped his arms about her waist to stop her falling. She could see his pulse in his neck, hummingbird-fast. His eyes were luminous and black, boring right into her.

Good sense warned her to move back; to let go. Nothing could come of a love that had no foundation in trust.

Her heart told her to not let go, not ever. Her fingers obeyed and latched on to his shirtfront, gripping so tight her knuckles went white. Her eyes slid closed as hands she remembered only in dreams brushed through her hair. This time she could not help but moan, her head burrowing into his chest where the frantic thumping of his heart filled her head.

How she had continued to draw breath after his disappearance was a mystery; she could barely breathe now. She could not help but be near him. Mindless need pulled them together and it would not release her.

'_Don't let go…' _She whispered helplessly, though the words never came out.

Squall tightened his hold on reflex. Rinoa's heat seeped into his bones and fought back the chill of three long years of separation. He didn't think he could let her go. His head fell forward onto hers and nestled into the wild softness of her hair. She smelt like home.

When she looked up at him the world dropped out from under his feet. He staggered under the weight of her gaze and like always, she braced his body to her own and kept it strong. Hesitant fingertips rose to his face and traced his scar, mercilessly slow. It made him ache. A single tear of profound relief rolled down his cheek.

Impulsively Rinoa rose on her toes and caught that one tear with her lips. The contact was fleeting and yet it lasted a small eternity. When she sank back down he followed her. Her eyes floated shut and his nose brushed against hers.

"Rinoa?"

She jumped back as if burned, nearly knocking both of them over. She turned guiltily to Ethan.

"Ethan…!" She tried in vain to sound innocent, like she had not been close to kissing Squall.

"Who's this?" He asked, coming closer. He fought the urge to simply hit the other man, especially when he stepped toward Rinoa once more, as if he were protecting her. There was something hauntingly familiar about the face. It wasn't one he'd ever seen in person but it was one he knew from _somewhere_.

"This?" Rinoa gulped, face flushing red. "This is…"

"Squall Leonhart!"

All three turned to the new voice ringing out through the Training Centre. A lone official in a white robe stood with two SeeDs from the disciplinary branch. One of them was holding a pair of handcuffs.

Squall looked at Rinoa helplessly. There was something still between them and he knew if she gave him the chance, she'd never be sorry to love him again. But time was running out and he could feel it. Whoever this Ethan was he was taking his place and he could _feel_ it. Their degrading connection was because of him.

Rinoa couldn't save him from the Garden Masters. He would face his punishment willingly. All he asked was for her to wait. To hold on and wait for him.

Brokenly, he didn't think she would. Ethan's security was too compelling and his own betrayal was too great. Even as the metal cuffs locked around his wrists he looked at her, silently pleading with her to remember them.

When they dragged him away he kept looking over his shoulder to her. She looked for him long after he was out of sight.

"That was Squall Leonhart?" Ethan struggled in the silence, at a loss for what else to say. "The guy who defeated both Adel and Ultimecia?"

All Rinoa could do was nod. Something inside her was breaking apart all over again.

_**Aurora**_

_KenshinGoku – I'm on a roll! Inspiration has been coming quick and slick recently and I don't want to lose it. I've got the next bit of the story all played out in my head. I just need to write it down! I've also had a lot of free time on my hands of late which has been a great change. My lectures start again in a few days though so things will slow a little. Hopefully not to an alarming pace. You can kinda understand Zell's reaction though, right? Squall doesn't look nearly as bad as he did when he first arrived so Zell can be forgiven for thinking his old friend has just been lying about for the last three years. And he's more angry on Rinoa's behalf than he is on his own, though he has his own demons to confront. To be honest, I think I'd have hit him too. Who does he think he is just showing up and expecting everything to be all happy-family like? Laguna! Aye, he'll appear. We should get a father son moment at some point. I don't know if I can perfect it but I'll give it a shot. Always up for a challenge! Thanks again for the reviews; you're amazing!_

_DaughterofSorceress-Lion – I thought she was good for the part actually. I know she can be a stickler when in a position of authority but she's definitely got the sisterly vibe going and I can imagine that not being her first go over with a pair of scissors. I suppose two half knights is a good way of putting it, really. Neither one of them has a complete connection to Rinoa, though one is undoubtedly stronger than the other. She has to decide now who her chances are better with. Would she be better to go with Squall whom she knows she can love completely, in every sense of the word, but can't always trust to be there; can't trust not to break her heart again. Or to go with Ethan, who she doesn't love quite so keenly but has never shown that he would ever desert her. I'm not sorry it's frustrating, that is the idea. *g* As for Zell, well… Someone had to knock him about. As for Squall being more human… Definitely. I think not being able to speak makes him even more vulnerable. The lessons his friends taught him stayed with him during his torture, are the only things that kept him alive really, and they have become his core beliefs. He's not perfect; he's still keeping everything to himself, not trusting anyone with the truth and not even trying to explain to the others how he feels at finally being able to see them again. But he is coming around to them._

_Elizabeth Deuxmind – Excellent! You knowing it was coming is good. It's very good for character continuity. Ethan is sweet and you're definitely right about him having a part to play. He's got a story to tell… Thank you so much for your review! It's great to know you enjoy this story so much. It's the reason I write. Hope to hear from you again!_

_There we are again my friends! Thanks to all who are with me for this crazy ride and I'll see you all again soon! Don't forget to R&R!_


	18. Shattered Knights, Check

_**Shattered Knights – Check**_

The cuffs around Squall's wrists chafed his newly healed wounds. He pushed and pulled against their binding but only caused himself more harm.

Blood trickled down his fingers. His heart was beating wildly, faster than when Rinoa's breath had ghosted across his face. Cold sweat chilled his whole body. The chattering of his teeth seemed to echo in the tiny cell.

Darkness was clawing across his mind. He couldn't concentrate on his breathing, or comprehend anything beyond the tremors of his body.

He couldn't be caged again. Not like last time. He wouldn't survive a second time…

--

Rinoa stared blankly at the floor. Her freshly cleaned boots already sported a dusting of mud. It seemed only seconds ago she had stood here with Squall. Her heart fluttered a little at the memory.

"Instructor Heartilly?" A cautious voice came. "Ma'am, we're all here."

She looked up from her daze. A girl's face fused into focus. Rinoa blinked carefully.

"Sorry, Dawn. Away with the faeries for a second there."

Dawn smiled at her reassuringly, though her confusion wasn't entirely concealed. She returned to the assembled class, none the less, and waited for the lesson to begin.

"I think we'll go outside." Rinoa stated, still a little disorientated. She couldn't concentrate on the smallest thing. Staying in the Training Centre would not help. "I think the weather might hold for an hour or so and we really need to work on a few higher-class spells. Some of you are acting as support for the up-coming SeeD exam; the lives of the cadets will be in your hands."

Rinoa didn't wait for confirmation or objection. She walked out of the Training Centre and toward the battle gardens. Her class hurried along behind her. They were a shambles; talking, giggling and messing around. She didn't have the heart to corral them into some semblance of order.

The 'battle gardens' were empty. The weather was threatening rain and most of the practical classes would remain inside. But not her class; they would be out even if the heavens did open up. A little rain would be good for teaching.

"Guys, can it." Rinoa bit out when they just wouldn't tone it down. The class was made up of graduated SeeDs and they always paid the least attention. She didn't teach many of them but eventually she met them all for high-magic tuition.

Rinoa knew she was considered by most of the SeeD students to be the most passive of instructors. She tried to keep herself level at all times, never punish failure and always encourage the doubting. Her nature was one of the reasons no one took her seriously. In the mercenary world, with the older students at least, the only thing that equated to respect was fear. The young students who were not yet corrupted by battle-fury and self-importance responded to the softer hand.

SeeDs responded to one thing only; demands made in a language they understood; power.

Rinoa clenched her fist at her side, felt magic bubbling up inside her. She fought to suppress it. She was a SeeD but she didn't think like most of her peers. Power, especially the power she wielded as a sorceress, was not something to bandy about like a toy. Ever since her ascension she had walked the fine line between the sorceress she wanted to be and the sorceress the world would assume she was.

It got harder with every day. Walking that line now took more strength than she had to give.

The class stopped talking. They stopped moving. The breeze from the coming storm did not even disturb their clothes.

"You _will_ listen." Rinoa said simply, lowering her hand from its now outstretched position. Her magic coiled hungrily through her body, demanding release in another spell. The stop she had called to her students' inattentiveness was not enough for the well of magic-force to quieten.

The spell had relieved some of the pressure however and Rinoa felt she could stave off the need to cast more.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to reign herself in. With a wave of her hand the stop spell lifted and her students were free.

Their deathly silence and undivided attention was not as rewarding as Rinoa thought it should have been. She shook herself off.

"Okay. Someone name for me a high-level elemental magic."

Dawn hesitatingly put her hand up. "Firaga."

Rinoa gestured to the space between herself and the class. "Demonstrate please."

Dawn tucked a stray wisp of blond hair behind her ear and edged her tiny frame out to the front of the class. She cast a nervous glance at her instructor. She was not an excellent spell-caster. Her mastery of throwing stars had earned her a place in SeeD. Frequently she messed up her spells completely and sometimes, even cast the wrong one. In one incident she had accidentally cast a fire spell at a bomb monster and it had nearly killed her.

Normally it would be fine to demonstrate. Rinoa Heartilly was one of the most patient and forgiving instructors in Garden and making mistakes was not something to be ashamed of in her class. But today Rinoa seemed as dark and broody as the clouds above and Dawn felt she might be bracing herself for a storm on two fronts.

"Lower your stance a little." Rinoa interjected sharply, before Dawn could move on to her casting. "Firaga is not a spell to be messed with and if you're not properly positioned it'll come back on you."

Dawn dropped down with a great swallow. If she spread her legs any further she'd be likely to topple over. Her thighs burned with the stress of supporting her body in the unusual position.

"The element is fire. So _feel_ it. Imagine scorching sunshine, open bonfires and explosions."

All Dawn could do was shakily nod her head. She tried to think of all that Rinoa had suggested and more. She tried to summon her temper with the spell, pouring all her aggression into the single explosive outburst. And she did.

Dawn's voice was completely dwarfed by the growl of erupting fire. The whole class backed away as the ravenous flames licked toward them. The violence of the wave could not even be deterred by the grim weather. Ruby red fire stampeded through the gardens. It clashed against the concrete walls and billowed up, charring the cement.

Rinoa let the heat roll over skin. She sighed, felt the magic humming in her blood and the restlessness subside a little more.

"Well done." She congratulated when the spell dissipated. Dawn grinned back at her with a face flushed red.

The whole class started buzzing again. Even Rinoa had to admit that such a powerful display was a rarity in her class, and especially from Dawn.

"Someone else now. I want something from the status-changing group."

Emboldened by Dawn's success a red-haired boy stepped out in front. His execution of the bio spell was almost flawless and Rinoa let that too wash over her. The noxious gas and putrid bubbles of poison flooded her system with their power. Her students recoiled and gagged under the spell's weight but she would have happily waded among the magic all day. Her soul was humming and adrenaline was pounding through her system.

"Space magic." She declared next. When no one stepped forward her moment of magical euphoria collapsed. "No one?"

Dawn cleared her throat. "Ma'am, we haven't studied that module yet. No one here has any space-affiliated magic stocked."

"I guess it's my turn then." Rinoa grinned.

The latent thrill of magic she had taken from the others turned into a ravenous hunger. Her magic seemed to leap to life, as if expecting her call; waiting in desire from her last spell just moments ago.

Her hands clasped in front of her chest. When they expanded a dark roiling mass took form, crackling dangerously. Sweat beaded on her brow and orange sparks shot outwards no longer contained by the centre ball. The class took a collective step back.

The condensed magic absorbed everything; not even light could escape it. A large bolt ruptured from Rinoa's control and raked a trail through the ground. Her hands were slowly being forced apart as the ball of darkness grew.

She released it in a rush of energy, throwing the orb outward where it expanded to almost the size of a bus. It shrank back down rapidly, howling its fury in one voracious call. Then it was gone.

A grim smile crossed Rinoa's face. Her blood was singing and the edge to her mood had suddenly evaporated.

"That was… That was real big, ma'am." One of the SeeDs stuttered.

Rinoa faced them all, gloriously empowered. "Demi magic is not something you'll come across often. In a lot of cases with monsters it can be absolutely useless. But with humans… It won't kill you, but it'll make you beg for death."

--

Quistis paced her room. The Garden Masters were still interrogating Squall, had been since his arrest the previous afternoon, and she was not permitted to see him until they were through. She was also facing an inquiry for her actions in concealing him. Her punishment would pale in comparison to the one they no doubt would hand out to Squall. There was little she could do to prevent it either.

The waiting was becoming unbearable.

She opened her drawer again and pulled out the photograph on top. The image was suddenly a source of comfort rather than despair. Rinoa's radiant smile and Squall's passive presence were again the focal point of unity. Zell and Selphie were unstoppable in their poses, as incorrigible in still-life as they were in animation. Irvine and herself at first glance appeared bystanders to the occasion but the connection they all shared was palpable. They were family. And they were together again.

Looking at the image she could forget they were ever separated. They had grown together in an orphanage. Even when some had moved on to new families, while others left for Garden service, fate had seen fit to bring them back together again. The battles they'd fought together, the sorrows they had shared and the dreams for the future; they were _more_ than family.

Quistis would be damned if she let anyone or anything take that from her again. Her fingers trailed over the photograph reverently, a smile stealing across her features.

The phone ringing snapped her out of her daydream and Quistis hurriedly replaced the photograph. It was Robert. "You have a video-call waiting, Commander." He supplied, putting the phone down before Quistis could even answer.

Sparing a scathing thought for her assistant's lack of supplementary information, Quistis straightened out her uniform and turned to the screen mounted on the far wall. With a push of a button on her desk the screen buzzed to life, revealing the image of man.

Quistis couldn't place the name, though she knew the face. She was spared the embarrassment of asking for it. She could see the nameplate on his desk; Governor Falls.

"Commander Trepe." He greeted. "You're looking radiant."

"Governor. It's a pleasure to see you home safe and well." She offered, sitting straight up in her chair and putting-on her best voice.

"And yourself." His openly friendly face dissolved into sorrow. "A terrible happening was Deling. A great many innocents were lost."

Quistis didn't know what to say to that. It was true a lot of people had been killed but she could not see them as innocent. By all accounts they had been after her friend. If she had to do everything over again, she would not sacrifice Rinoa for any number of lives.

"I called to offer my thanks to you once again." He continued, the smile returning quickly. With a thick beard and mop of hair, he looked almost feral with such an expression. It was only his eyes the softened the wild grin into genuine happiness. "Since your Garden arranged for Trabian SeeDs to accompany my shipments to Esthar there have been no losses. The new avenues have opened up greater possibilities for my little town and already a mining plant is under construction. The Trabian Commander also informs me that despite setbacks, they would be ready to open trade with us in as little as six months. They have come a great long way since the missile attack. By all accounts, it is because of formidable leadership."

Quistis smiled herself, thinking of her old friend Xu who was now Trabian's Commander. "Yes, the Trabian Commander is a force to be reckoned with. I'm very pleased things have worked out for you. No doubt in time you will also be forging links with Balamb Garden."

The conversation came to a stop and Quistis felt warmed knowing the man on the screen had simply contacted them to extend his appreciation. In a thankless world like hers it was a rare gift. She was almost sorry to turn the conversation into darker territory.

"Governor, have you looked into what happened at Deling?"

The Governor shook his head, unruly hair everywhere. For a moment he looked as dishevelled as Squall. "I'm afraid not. We have no military assets and no reason to believe the attack was aimed at sabotaging links with Esthar. For ourselves it was little more than a case of 'wrong place, wrong time'. I believe the troubles are likely centred in your world, Commander."

Quistis nodded, in complete agreement. "Thank you anyway. As you might imagine, we're still a little shocked."

"Before I go, I will say one thing Commander. That young woman that sat at your side for the conference? Dark hair, petite…?"

"An instructor here by the name of Rinoa Heartilly." Quistis supplied.

"Well, from what I could see, even after she was shot, the soldiers persistently targeted her. Your other SeeDs seemed simply in the way…"

Quistis nodded, a sinking feeling in her stomach. She had known the real reason for the attack was to do with Rinoa. But to have someone else notice made it worse. The world needed to believe Garden had been attacked, not a _member_ of Garden. Given the circumstances, if they discovered it was Rinoa who was the intended target, it would not be a great leap to accuse her of being the sorceress; an accusation they could not refute.

Shakily, Quistis said her goodbyes and cut the video-link.

She couldn't stay in her office.

Breezing past a startled Robert, Quistis fled the third floor. For the entire elevator descent she paced the small carriage. So disturbed, she barrelled over a junior cadet without apology upon exiting.

The basement level of Garden had undergone a refit after NORG's death. No longer the secretive lair of their neurotic proprietor, it now accommodated classrooms, offices and the brig. The main areas were open-access to students but holding cells and a few other select rooms where off-limits to those without clearance.

When Quistis expected to march right through the posted guard, she was surprised that she too now lacked the required authority.

"I can't let you pass, Commander." The SeeD guard apologised, holding up a hand to halt any further progress.

"As you have pointed out, Mr Farrow, I am the _Commander_. You will let me through."

"I'm under strict orders from the Garden Masters, Commander. You are not allowed to see the prisoner."

Quistis could feel her temper about to the get the better of her sense. "Let me past." She said simply.

She could see the internal struggle taking place. His whole face collapsed into concern. In the end he saluted with a trembling hand and allowed her through. Whoever had given the SeeD his orders was not going to forgive the dereliction. But too much was at stake. Quistis was done waiting for the Garden Masters to include her in their plans.

Most of the cells were empty. Aside from a few acts of disobedience, there was no outright need for a jail in Garden. More often they were used as storerooms.

Quistis rounded the end of the corridor and felt her knees weaken. Squall was lying face down in his cell.

--

"He's going to be fine, Commander." Dr. Kadowaki placated, halting Quistis mid-pace.

"What happened?"

"I'd say he relapsed." She explained, removing her gloves and throwing them into the nearest bin. "For the better part of three years he was locked up, probably in a cell much like ours, and tortured in ways we can't imagine." She sighed. "His mind did the only thing it could to protect itself from that horror. He passed out cold."

Quistis deflated into the nearest chair. "But he's going to be okay?"

Kadowaki smiled broadly. "I'll keep him here from now on, on medical grounds. The Garden Masters can't argue with that." She smiled at her old friend's obvious relief. So warmed by the sight she almost forgot about the curious note she had found in Squall's pocket. She dug into her own pocket for it now, offering it out with explanation. "I found this in Squall's shirt-front. You any idea what it could mean?"

Quistis took the note and unfolded the tattered edges carefully. The script was painfully familiar as Squall's. It wasn't addressed to anyone in particular.

"It looks like a re-fit list." Quistis said. She noted off a few of the points. "Energy crystals… Adamantine…"

"New weapon for Squall?" Kadowaki offered. Her knowledge of weapons was limited but she knew a few of the obvious materials that went into remodelling. She had always been more interested in healing wounds than inflicting them however.

Nodding absently, Quistis pocketed the note. About to comment she was interrupted by the sudden eruption of the infirmary doors, admitting a panicked Selphie.

"What happened?" She panted. "Where's Squall?"

"He's okay." Both women responded together.

Selphie too instantly succumbed to relief and slid down in a heap against the wall. Her head fell back and she closed her eyes. At only just regaining the lost portion of their family, the thought of losing him again was too much to cope with.

"I can't take this anymore." Selphie groaned. "I gotta know what's going on. We don't do something soon and someone's gonna end up dead!"

Quistis couldn't argue with that, in light of recent events. "Anything new on the Deling front?"

"No. The Garden Masters are sending me back there in the morning but I don't think I'm going to find anything."

Kadowaki handed a cup of water to Selphie which she took gratefully, sipped at slowly.

"I'm not going." Selphie stated abruptly. "I quit."

Quistis looked at her friend sharply. "You don't just 'quit' Garden, Selphie."

"Then I'm going AWOL. Call it what you like."

"So what's your plan? Charge into Esthar, threaten anyone who looks suspicious and blow the whole place to smithereens?"

Selphie scowled. "I was thinking something a little more subtle."

Quistis sighed. "We can't please everyone. We have to choose; Squall and Rinoa, or Garden?"

"You even have to ask?" Selphie quipped. "We're family, Quisty; we can't let anyone break us up again."

Quistis smiled at the childhood nickname. She looked up at Kadowaki who remained silent. "You'd be within your rights to report us, you know."

"My child, I've been waiting for you to make this decision for months. I will keep Squall safe here. You two work on finding out who wants Rinoa so badly."

Selphie and Quistis both regained their feet. After both assuring Squall's health one last time, they left the infirmary. In silence they walked along the marble halls, banked by the crystal-blue running waters. Students and staff alike walked by, some offering greeting. Both women let the sensation wash over them; when this fight was over, they would most likely not be returning to this life.

"Selphie, leave for Deling tomorrow as the Garden Masters have ordered." Quistis said out of the blue. She looked as though she were simply giving instructions to her staff; not ordering what could amount to high treason. "The less suspicion we raise, the better. As soon as you're able, head to Esthar. If Laguna is ignorant as we think, likely it's someone well hidden that's pulling the strings. You'll have to keep a low profile. Anything you find, get back to me as quickly as possible."

"I could take Irvine?" Selphie suggested, leaning against a wall as they stopped walking, maintaining the casual air.

"No. You'll have to do this on your own. Now the Garden Masters know about Squall, they'll be keeping tabs on all his old friends. So far, you're the only one with permission to leave Garden. A request for Irvine on such short notice would raise too much suspicion."

"Okay. Solo; I got it."

"Selphie, whoever took Squall…" Quistis reached out with her hand but let it fall in the space between them. Her face said it all. "I don't have to tell you to be careful."

"Don't worry about me!" Selphie winked, twirling off down the corridor. "Worry about the guy who's responsible because when I find him, I'm gonna bust him up real good!"

--

Rinoa slipped, staggered slightly and then plummeted the six foot drop to the floor. For a moment she lay perfectly still, holding herself together. Nothing, absolutely _nothing_, had gone the way it ought on her exam and falling off a wall was the last straw. She took several long breaths, unwilling to move for fear she would have a tantrum the likes of which would scare even her father.

A quick inventory revealed nothing serious; a bruised hip and grazed knee. The most damage had been done to her pride. Her pride had been suffering ever since Quistis had convinced her to enrol as a SeeD candidate.

Initial humiliation aside, attending classes with children that had never even picked up a weapon, the real test of will had come when she'd been forced to pretend she wasn't the sorceress; a being of such magical power that had she really wanted, she could have willed the entire Balamb Garden into an eternal blizzard.

Lying face down on the Esthar Plains, counting to ten, very slowly, was not erasing any of the injustice.

"Heartilly! We've got exactly ten minutes to get back to base or the mission is a bust and we _fail_!"

Rinoa groaned at her squad partner; an over-achieving, know-it-all who took great pleasure in making those around him feel inferior. She had half a mind to get up and scratch him to death. He did have a point however.

"You go on ahead and let command know we're coming. Squad A are still out there and I won't leave them."

"They can take care of themselves!"

Rinoa growled and crawled to her feet. Her blue seed uniform, ridiculous skirt and all, was covered in red dirt. She didn't dare imagine the state of her hair. She marched very slowly up to her partner and peered quietly into his eyes. For a moment he was all puff and bluster. Rinoa merely waited for the inevitable deflation, when the brown-noser got the message she was dangerous enough to kill him in a way no one would _ever_ find the body.

"Right then." He stammered, stumbling across the uneven ground toward base camp a good mile away.

"Stupid idiot." Rinoa muttered. She climbed back up the wall in the most ungainly way possible, reacquired her blaster-edge and waited for Squad A to come charging into view.

It took a long time, too long for Rinoa's comfort, but Squad A did appear. Two girls and a guy; the guy was slung between his two partners and limping badly.

She was barely on her feet when the monster came barrelling into view. Rinoa's breath halted entirely and her vision narrowed on the pursuing beast. Several things then happened in quick succession; her blaster jammed, her skirt gave up and tore clean up the side and the whole of Squad A tripped and fell to the dirt.

Discarding her weapon as useless and desperately ignoring the indecent amount of thigh she was no exposing, Rinoa ran towards her classmates. Too many things were racing through her mind, none of which constituted a plan that would stop her getting killed when she put herself in the monster's path.

'_Courage, don't fail me now…'_

Rinoa put on a burst of speed. Her heart thumped painfully against her ribs, so fast she couldn't distinguish one pound from the next. Her lungs burned and the dust made it difficult to breathe. Her colleagues were still on the floor, seemingly oblivious to the behemoth bearing down on them.

Her speed was not going to be enough. With abstract horror Rinoa realised she would not make it to them in time. The desperation was blinding. Her instinct overrode her quickly dissolving mind and suddenly she was running faster and faster.

The haste spell gave her an edge. She covered the great distance in what seemed just a few seconds. A protect spell was already waiting on her fingertips. She skidded to the ground just as the behemoth reared a great clawed paw. His victims paled at the great monsters howl of victory, aware of his presence too late to do anything.

Where the claws should have come bearing down on the cadets, Rinoa instead felt the searing burn of flesh rent from bone. Her thigh bloomed scarlet. The protect spell came a second too late. She was spared a second devastating swipe by the defence but she was now crippled along with her friends. She cast three more protect spells to cover them but all it did was limit the behemoth's physical strength; what might have been lethal was now just survivable.

There was not much any of them could do. The other cadets were low level soldiers and she had lost her weapon. The pain in her leg kept her immobile and already she could feel her protection waning. With an internal swell of anger, she wondered where the supporting SeeDs were.

Gritting her teeth, Rinoa summoned as many spells as she thought might help. Her first attempts were desperate and both the confuse and stop spells just bounced off the behemoth's thick hide.

Another blow to the head sent her reeling. Spitting blood and seeing starts, Rinoa rolled to her knees. Her ears were ringing but her mind was instantly clear.

She rounded on the behemoth that had singled her out as the cause of his sudden impotence. Thick, purple fur bristling over doubled-up muscles, it stalked toward her. Even on all-fours the monster towered at least ten feet off the ground. Two bull-like horns gouged the dirt either side of her prone body as it lunged for her, again and again.

Rinoa rolled and struggled on the dusty ground. A great smear of blood followed her in the dirt, so much so she was starting to feel dizzy from loss. She tossed a blind spell over her shoulder just as the beast came charging down on her again. A thick plume of black fog lurched into its face and clung there like tar. He stumbled right into her much smaller body and she screamed as something in her chest cracked in protest of the weight.

The pain would have levelled most soldiers. But Rinoa was not an ordinary soldier and she had suffered greater trauma than most could ever imagine. Using the searing agony to focus the magic potential usually lying dormant, Rinoa cast as many spells as she could on the one breath.

Her first choice was meltdown and she followed it up with a bio spell, rendering the behemoth completely vulnerable to any attack she posed whilst stripping his strength with every passing second. The combination kept him busy while she regrouped for a second. As a panicked after-thought of the violent meteor spell the breed was known to cast on death, Rinoa whispered words of quiet and hoped the silence spell would prevent them being hurt even after the monster was stopped.

The other students took their cue from Rinoa and began casting their own spells. One of the girls even took up her weapon, a bladed bo-staff, and chipped at the monster's rapidly decreasing power.

The final attack was Rinoa's flare spell that tore through the plains like an explosion. The heat cooked flesh and burnt away the monster's wire-like fur. She reduced him to nothing more than twitching charcoal. When he breathed his last, thick, rancid blood oozing from his nose and mouth, Rinoa flopped back to the deck…

She remembered nothing of how she was taken back to base camp. She woke several days later to her graduation certificate and Quistis' relieved expression. Even now, many years later, she could not remember anything after that last spell.

Absently she traced the scar lying beneath her trousers; a scar that ran the length of her thigh; one of many mementos of her journey through SeeD life.

"Ma'am…?" Dawn asked hesitantly. Rinoa's sharp gaze, torn from memories, rounded on her quickly. The young woman's voice trembled. "I need some help."

"What's wrong?" Rinoa returned gently.

Dawn's fingers were knotted together. "Every time I cast the bio spell it just comes back on me." With a grimace she added. "I don't have any more remedies with me."

Rinoa smiled. "Okay. Let's start from the beginning…. Oh, and Dawn… You're on support for the coming exam, aren't you?"

The young woman nodded the affirmative but clearly didn't see the relevance.

Grinning this time, Rinoa simply said. "Make sure you're ready for anything."

_**Aurora**_

_KenshinGoku – I hope you're feeling better! Confrontation between our guys over our favourite girl is inevitable. We'll just have to wait a little longer for the fireworks._

_AgentRonin316 – That was such a brilliant song suggestion. I'd never heard the song before but after you mentioned it, I had to go find it. You're right on the money. The feeling I was left with after listening to that song was exactly what I had envisioned for Rinoa. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that I managed to get that across. I'm glad you finally reviewed; it's always great to hear from new names. Hope to see you about again!_

_user data missing – Not unreasonable that you don't like Ethan. I hope it's because you don't like him muscling in on our fairy tale romance, and not that he's just so appallingly written! Thank you for your comments. I don't actually have a proof-reader. All of it is done by me so I hope there aren't too many mistakes I've missed. Hope to see you about again!_

_xXBadLuckDuckXx – Wow! Thanks._

_Here were are kiddies! This one is a bit longer than most chapters. I hope you enjoy reading! See you again soon. As always, R & R!!_


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